Jack Monroe #428 Hold me closer, tiny grifter

[MistyWindows]

Now is the time for Iqbal’s return, all angry-faced, pointing out the flat where the dreaded deeds occurred. Full page spread.

I’d read it

All in good time dearheart, he’s on the day shift at Sainsburys.

 

[Bugger13]

With a note explaining that this is a reenactment of a Jack turd and not the real thing.

Using one of Jack’s recipes to make the turd

Own up-which one of you bastards snuck this comment in?

 

[moldwarp]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….NONE of this would’ve happened if she hadn’t pushed her luck too far with HH2.

She had the grift going good, she had a great passive income, adored by her flying monkeys, and she just HAD to push it too far. Like Icarus flying too close to the sun or Harold Shipman altering that last lady’s will.

Jack! You had it all. But you got too cocky.

Hoist by her own (self)regard.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

One thing I find really annoying, and I wouldn't even call them 'Jack Stans', is people defending her and saying "I haven't been following this but..." or "I don't know the full details but...". Why not take a moment to familiarise yourself with WHY so many people are mad about this situation instead of defending someone you don't have the 'full details' on? Bit of a random tangent but it's just annoying

I saw the same woman I think you’re referring to complaining about “vitriol” but admitting she hasn’t been following, and honestly these people who will wade in knowing absolutely nothing are exactly the same brand of incurious moron who will comment under recipes asking if they can replace strawberry with halibut or asking if they can make grilled pineapple in a slow cooker. Looking beyond the surface doesn’t exist for such a worrying portion of the population.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….NONE of this would’ve happened if she hadn’t pushed her luck too far with HH2. She had the grift going good, she had a great passive income, adored by her flying monkeys, and she just HAD to push it too far. Like Icarus flying too close to the sun or Harold Shipman altering that last lady’s will.

Jack! You had it all. But you got too cocky.

Hoist by her own (self)regard.

At least Harold Shipman earned his “Dr.” title.

 

[jenny2603]

I want a quote from Borbora

I'd like Burger Flipper teacher or one of the "SHUT YOUR LEGS" people to pitch in with their story. Decked Brother, Iqbal (obvs) and Harold would be the dream, though.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

She’ll be scouring the #bekind hashtag for a luke warm take to rehash as her own.

@Geetbo big ups on the thread title, shame crypto’s crashed so none of us politically destabilising bots can kindly gift u some socks and a Birkenstock/croc to see u through the winter months.

 

[itsnotmereally]

At least Harold Shipman earned his “Dr.” title.

Could you write this again in about 30 pages time?

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Someone has commented 'Grifty McGriftface' and it's still there.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I'd like Burger Flipper teacher or one of the "SHUT YOUR LEGS" people to pitch in with their story. Decked Brother, Iqbal (obvs) and Harold would be the dream, though.

I’d love to hear from Asda “never amount to anything” manager too, who she STARED AT INTENTLY while he was putting her BESTSELLING book out.

Also the bloke on the “cheese and ham counter” who taught her loads about curing meat, and Rachel Green on how intolerable it was to be fastened to Jack for two days.

 

[Hold my beans]

Why Jack poop?
Daily Mail scoop.

 

[jenny2603]

I’d love to hear from Asda “never amount to anything” manager too, who she STARED AT INTENTLY while he was putting her BESTSELLING book out.

Also the bloke on the “cheese and ham counter” who taught her loads about curing meat, and Rachel Green on how intolerable it was to be fastened to Jack for two days.

Poor Rachel must just have a permanent compo face. Imagine being chained to Jack for two days, it must have been horrific.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Jack has been 500 days sober for almost a week

 

[Fruitjack]

Nah, sorry. Not excited about it, not reading it, will never read anything in there, free or not. All that article will do is make the people who defend her think she’s been targeted by that hateful rag because of gender, sexuality etc and they’ll defend her even more.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Hold me closer, tiny grifter
Count the pennies in your patreon
Lay you down in sheets from john lewis
You had a 100 hour day today

Blue-fingered baby
Southend gravy
Grifting for the forever home
Shark-eyed
Manic pixie smile
You'll marry a foolish Harold man

 

[itsnotmereally]

Jack has been 500 days sober for almost a week

Might be celebrating…

 

[hytuhh]

Looking beyond the surface doesn’t exist for such a worrying portion of the population.

^ Well I think you just summarised this entire thing with that statement - this is how she gets away with it because people are so wilfully ignorant. I only came across this thread by accident really, I stayed because a lot of you are absolutely hilarious and it makes my working day I lot better, especially since the magic of the Slopalong (amazing work to all involved!). But also, because I am now so invested in how someone can get away with the grift for so long. I am not one to wish ill on anyone, however I am waiting with baited breath to see how this plays out

 

[MistyWindows]

As would I. Especially if it was accompanied by a photo of Iqbal holding up a turdbag with a compo face.

I know it’s terrible and is a box not a bag but I’M BUSY DEARHEART x
(Slop @EllaEm87 ©)

 

[SusieTCones]

In other news, I’m learning lots by repeatedly refreshing the mail online twitter feed to get the comments.

Like that Emily person is seeing the Pete person who used to date a Jenner:Karshadian. Who knew?

In the end, we will all have dated Pete Davidson for 15 minutes. Even Jack.

 

[Smol Pixel]

Why Jack poop?
Daily Mail scoop.

Why Jack wail?
Daily Mail