Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

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Did anybody hear the frau on the bus?
She's off to make slop that looks like pus
Did anybody hear the frau on the bus?
She's rethinking her choices and feeling nonplus(sed)
 
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Like Aunt Marge from Harry Potter
 
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I think the only way Patreon Squig is getting a refund is if Jack manages to actually send out some of her Patreon backlog, otherwise she's setting herself up for more refund requests, even then I'd not hold my breath waiting! If she does it at all it won't be until she's got some postcards and crap in the post, and I wouldn't hold my breath for that either
 
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Did anyone see the frau boiling eggs?
Unlike Jack she does more than begs
Did anyone see the frau boiling eggs?
Laughing like the time she bought tights with 3 legs
 
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Imagine the below in the style of Joan Jett, Lita Ford or another cool lady rocker of your choice with Jack shredding it on the guitar and rocking out.

The updated 2022 version would be:

A working class girl stealing food to survive
Eyes closed at roundabouts so still cannot drive
Blaming mummy and daddy that I cannot swim
Throwing slop shite together that’s really quite grim

Claiming multiple times I was a prozzy and whore
While I still hide from the bailiffs behind my front door
Said I was “almost” evicted, now it’s multiple times
And don’t fucking ask about that index of Vimes

Lived rough for two long years in the freezing and damp
Now I own a smol pig hat and THAT BLOODY LAMP
 
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Unintentional doggerel! Move over William Mc Gonagall
Her poetry is self indulgant garbage and I say that as someone who loves bad poetry. So much so I made a special trip to William Mcgonagalls tombstone when I was in Edinburgh (jacksspiritualhome) in September. Then read 'on yonder Hill' to my very bewildered Harold
 
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I reckon she feeds the slop to SB, hired help, OHs, anyone around. No wonder they all LEFT.

All the nice stuff she keeps for herself.
I don't think she feeds it to SB either. I just can't imagine a kid his age eating that kind of food.
I remember when she posted her first 'stocktake' of the food she already had in, there were chicken nuggets and a couple of other convenience foods in there. I reckon she feeds him things like that and sausages, etc, plus takeaways (which she freely admits to buying).
 
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I was just about to post about the Greek mezze that she bought from the co op and passed off as her own work, her mum commented on that
 
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Mums are still shamed for not spending 2 hours making something from scratch but my sons now 6ft3 after 15 years of potato waffles an chicken nuggets. All kids want the same shit
 
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I hate poetry but I don’t want to miss out:

Just look at this loser
A girl on the grunk
Can’t always
Keep up

It’s hard to
Sit tight

Always waiting

Contemplating the hopeful
Universal cancellation of the
Nefarious grifter which is not before
Time
 
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I don't think Jack was intending to act dishonestly - I would guess a flurry of initial interest from her most invested followers meant she convinced herself that the t-shirts were going to go viral. So, in her head, £500 in an hour translated itself in to 10k over 24 hours.

of course it didn't happen. The merchandise was not good enough. Even that squig who claimed they were wearing one on their fa my foreign holiday couldn't remember the slogan correctly.

It would take a lot to convince me that Jack didn't have to pay from her own (or possibly Big Dave's or Old Harold's) pocket.

Option, Jack admitting she had lied for kudos?
 
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Mums are still shamed for not spending 2 hours making something from scratch but my sons now 6ft3 after 15 years of potato waffles an chicken nuggets. All kids want the same shit
I wouldn't say all, my eldest loved roasts and spaghetti bolognaise (still does, lol), but he sure as hell wouldn't have touched any of Jack's recipes.
There's still a place for waffles and nuggets as well though, won't deny that.
 
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I don't think she can at this stage. Not after the recent blogpost.
 
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