Jack Monroe #42

[NomDeGuerre]

My Mum busted me drinking malt vinegar straight out the bottle when I was about 8 As much as I love all things vinegary I’m not quite sure what I was thinking!

I saw these wise words today and thought of Jack’s current shit show…

One of my grandma’s fabled urban legends was that she once saw a man down a pint of vinegar for a bet

I’m not sure of the veracity of that particular story, though.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

I don’t know where the parent names discussion came from but I cannot stand ‘mummy’ and ‘daddy’ (beyond small children saying it). My ex is Irish and uses these names even in his 30s, same as his parents who are in their 60s. Apparently it’s pretty common over there, but where I am it’s only used by preschoolers and posh people, so it sounds weird to hear a non-posh adult using it without irony

My daughter calls me mama (fancy!)

I’m the opposite, I’m not keen on “mama” it reminds me of something a creepy possessed doll or little ghost girl might say in a horror film would hate to hear one of my kids calling it in the night!
My Nan always referred to my grandad as “Daddy” whether she was talking to the grandkids or my parents or asking if he wanted a cup of tea etc. I think it’s sweet and she definitely wasn’t posh or a preschooler. She was east London through and through but it was a nice way of saying he was the head of the family.

 

[Readingismyhobby]

I need wise Frau advice - I have a double oven. Main oven has started to burn cakes (at the side towards the back of the oven). Today I baked a cake in the smaller oven, this was burnt on the top. Main oven is fan, small oven is conventional.
Does the cake burning indicate I need a new oven? It’s about 16 years old. It’s my first new oven so I don’t know how long they are supposed to last. It’s a Hotpoint oven.

Can anyone help with my oven problem?

 

[Ronlonglegs]

So she lives in Thorpe Bay now. I wonder if it is by the Yacht Club?

Yes! Thorpe Bay was known as the Nouveau Riche part of town, Leigh and Chalkwell being the posh parts when I was growing up. I wonder if her shabby part is near the Yacht Club?

Are you being facetious? By the yacht club is the biggest house's? The only bit i can think of is the roads to the north of the station but they are bungalows, still posh

It annoys me. If she really is a wc hero then shes one that's made it out and socially progressed, so why not shout about that, inspire others to progress

 

[Blurp]

I'm sure I've heard the same story, but attached to a different author, and more than once so I wouldn't take that at prima facie

True, but what I'm getting at is that DW is very much not untouchable and was in fact trending before JM went off on her ranting on the bandwagon. There were two stories about him in Popbitch yesterday, things in the press about inappropriate behaviour, all sorts of things that have been rumbling for a while. JM didn't start anything, she just jumped on to a bandwagon but gave the media something to say about DW that wasn't rumour and so fucked her own career.

 

[Readingismyhobby]

I'd just get a new one, but I'm a bit profligate like that. Ovens usual last us about 10 years, my friend gets through an oven every three years, however she is a shit cook, and I think they die of embarrassment.

I’ve been looking at new ovens. Big range in price!

 

[Breakdance Badass]

@MancBee thanks for checking in xx

Now, every time I read Fraus describing their face shape (triangulation purposes only, m’lud), I imagine you all coming forward in this manner, with your own disco beat theme tune...

I am....a...SHAPE

@Raker that took me back, my children used to be obsessed by that song/video!! Again, again, again they used to shout for me to replay it 🟡🟩

 

[Motherwellgirl]

Oh! You sweet thing. Sorry, but I feel all the sympathy while HOOTING at 'retroussé'

My mum has a retrousse nose. And the odd thing is. I only noticed it a few years ago.

I said who told you the name and she said your gran and I said my how did my gran know what it was called.

She said because your gran was a very clever woman

I don’t like my nose. It’s not big but it looks like it is in photos.

 

[colouredlines]

@colouredlines What is the name of the hair treatment? I have been getting Nanokeratin blow dries, wonder if it’s similar?

Oh and for triangulation purposes I have a very round fat face and CK One

I actually don't know the name in English! I started getting Brazilian blowdries about 10 years ago (back when it was a multi-day affair and you couldn't wash your hair or put it in a ponytail or behind your ears for 3 days), but the technology has been advancing a lot.

The one I get now is fairly quick and doesn't even make my eyes water from the fumes, which is quite something. It looks a little flat the first couple of days post-treatment, but not as bad as other treatments used to leave it, and it soon settles. I don't speak to my hairdresser in English though, so not sure what I'd ask for if I moved away...

 

[Nottonightbabe]

One of her many word farts has gone to that tweet graveyard in the sky. Not a scooby doo which one though.

How can you tell? I don't use Twitter other than to go and nose at her feed, is there a count?

 

[Booksareessential]

“I play scrabble with blue tickers”

View attachment 176421

ETA: Gold medal for Silver!

I think that’s her lawyer. Must be anticipating some repeat business.

 

[Silver Linings]

The 'essay' one has gone, I think.

Yes! I wonder if it’s because people were arguing underneath it that it had become a pile on () on germaphobes and using ableist language etc. Can’t have either of those without Jack’s say so!

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Also for triangulation I strongly resemble my profile pic and love Flower Bomb, Viktor and Rolf.

"I'll get it" *CRASH*

 

[Silver Linings]

I feel so bad for the daily mail journalists coming onto this thread for some quick gossip to cobble into a story but end up bamboozled by all the in jokes and gifs

Imagine trying to understand why we're all on about sideboard boudoir photography, Hoovers doing drugs and men named Trevor

ETA: I predict a jack stunt tomorrow night it's getting late for her to pull something tonight but she will hate that the thread is getting away from her again.

Then they’d ring Jack for a comment and she’d explain them all.....

 

[FrumpyCat]

Hello all! I’ve been lurking (and trying to keep up) for a few weeks now.

First heard of JM when I saw her a 7ish years ago at River Cottage doing a live cooking spot with Allegra. I absolutely would have said she was comfortable being MC - spoke like it, acted like it, joked about it... The dynamic between the two of them felt a bit weird though... sort of like master and pet.

I

I though that when I read an interview with them, Allegra said something like she's so worldly wise, it just sounded so'ahh bless!' the way you'd talk about a bright but precocious child.

 

[antisocialmedia]

What do we hazard a guess JM smells of? I say BO

 

[Switchstreetz]

Slightly late to the party but I also super recommend skulduggery pleasant for kids/teens (though I do have massive nostalgia as I was about 12 when first one came out and my school got to meet the author, Derek Landy when a lot of us my class were super into the books and he was very nice. I actually looked them up out of nostalgia and he's still going with them?! ).

I remember liking the first 2 Artemis fowl books but going off the rest. The Bartimeus books were good, I think the first one was called Amulet of Samarkand.

For slightly younger boys and girls there was also "the Shapeshifter" by Ali Sparkes.

 

[Motherwellgirl]

I met Kevin Bridges years ago and he was unbelievably attractive. There was something so magnetic about him. Honestly, I was hypnotised he was such a sweet talker as well as being absolutely hilarious.

*shakes self out of daydream*

So is Jack doing another book tonight? I've not seen any announcements yet.

I am SO glad you said this.

I fancy Kevin Bridges something rotten. Who cares that he’s in his 30s and married. Not me!!

(Not even ashamed, not one bit).

I took my mum to see him two Christmases ago and even she was like, he’s handsome.

 

[J4n0Z]

Sending positive vibes your way @Starsanddaggers. I hope today goes quickly x

Not that my personal opinion matters here, but I much prefer her serious, "stony faced" persona to the manic, nervy one she projects now.

 

[Kween wand]

I though that when I read an interview with them, Allegra said something like she's so worldly wise, it just sounded so'ahh bless!' the way you'd talk about a bright but precocious child.

Yes - like a child. There was a lot of ‘Here, you do this bit, dear’. Supposedly tongue in cheek but felt genuine; and uncomfortable.