Jack Monroe #412 Chiz on Tiz

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Terrible

Is Gary Usher part of the Essex Zlist Squad then? He can sod off dictating what is and isn‘t funny. If ParodyJack makes even one person look into the grifting and stop their Patreon or contributions then it’s worth it. God, these blue tickers* on Twitter are little dictators high on their own farts.

*oh, actually he hasn’t got one!

** also, he’s deleted it! Ha!
 
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Helena Handbasket

I reckon she’s gone away with the family for a bit of winter sun. They seem like ‘Tenerife in October, every year for 20 years’ kind of people. Feel like reverse scrolling to see if she always pipes down this time of year. Either that or the mamapapa yucky of all chaos is coming.
 
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MavisBeacon

Captainmouse said:
Just read it in the shop or library, she won’t earn anything that way
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Not true - authors do get a small amount of money from library borrowings (in a published frau with several books and my library royalties buy me a nice dinner every six months...)
 
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ForgettyBetty

MavisBeacon said:
Not true - authors do get a small amount of money from library borrowings (in a published frau with several books and my library royalties buy me a nice dinner every six months...)
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I haven't forgiven you for ASDF, I had a minor breakdown by page 3 and still can't find the punctuation keys.
 
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People-huv-tae-know

Marmalade Atkins said:
Very odd. No idea why she's done that
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Jingle bells
Something smells
I'm sure it's going to snow
Oh what fun it is to be
Snorting in the shitty bungalow oh!

*that's my explanation for any behavior that is nuttier than crunchy peanut butter (or baws).


Eta, seen it's Twatter's fault, fuck off Twatter.

Also, for a bit of 90s nostalgia, I would like to see Jack versus flat Eric on a cookathon with Zig and Zag hosting.
 
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Cookiecookie

Shoplift it. Jack says that's ok.

Loving the action. Honestly Jack, just go read a book or something. We know you have plenty *looks guiltily towards TBR pile whilst gossiping on tattle*

She can't even do Tumblr right. Twitter's the only SM she can use properly.
 
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MistyWindows

Insomnia Misty here to inform you that the most recent slop has an OG version

I don’t know what the Green is and I’m happy for it to stay that way.
 
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Valiofthedolls

WTAF is this weird ectoplasmic Alien Arctic Roll, and why is it sitting on vintage1970s ham cut on one of those big machines in 1970s/80s corner shops?

Also, why are there two pairs of ”hands that make love” in this picture? It is ALL VERY WRONG INDEED. I won’t lie to you, @MistyWindows I do not care for anything about this picture.

it’s all a bit Buffalo Bill Silence of the Lambs. That voice nasally honking in your ear, terrifying you. “Now it places its hands on the bowl…”


ETA @HotesTilaire please send more cute sentient friendly Toms-os. I need to go to a happier place before bedtime.
 
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allybongo

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waffle maker

Gary Usher is good on Twitter and he worked so hard in lockdown to keep his businesses going. He seems to be a great cook too. I find people trying to police what is funny or not on twitter embarrassing though.
 
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Jelly Bean

waffle maker said:
Gary Usher is good on Twitter and he worked so hard in lockdown to keep his businesses going. He seems to be a great cook too. I find people trying to police what is funny or not on twitter embarrassing though.
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I know nothing about him but agree with the policing. He'd probably say to people to scroll on by with things Jack says they don't agree with, so should apply the same logic to lampooning of her.
 
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Knit one Pearl one

waffle maker said:
Gary Usher is good on Twitter and he worked so hard in lockdown to keep his businesses going. He seems to be a great cook too. I find people trying to police what is funny or not on twitter embarrassing though.
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I have, somewhere in the back of my mind, that he crowdfunded for something to do with his restaurant? I might have made it up though, seeing as I had a dream that I was married to THAT MAN the other night. And quite pleasant it was too!
 
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Knit one Pearl one

Knit one Pearl one said:
I have, somewhere in the back of my mind, that he crowdfunded for something to do with his restaurant? I might have made it up though, seeing as I had a dream that I was married to THAT MAN the other night. And quite pleasant it was too!
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ETA Just googled. He's raised a lot of money through Kickstarter. A lot. https://www.codehospitality.co.uk/i...his-new-country-pub-and-scaling-up-gravy-new/

No wonder he's a bit tetchy about the criticism Jackarse is receiving.
 
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Valiofthedolls

Vintage 2012 Horrible Jack alert so skip by if you’re in the mood for frivolity.
So I’ve been reading her old blog and articles while she’s quiet. While we are on this trip down memory lane, these are a couple of 24 year old Jack’s memories/in memoriams of her Grandad from her (now deleted, but archived) blog 10 years ago. I honestly can’t decide whether I hope she’s lying or not.

if she is telling the truth and these are among her fondest childhood memories that she’s decided to publicly immortalize as an adult somewhere her mum reads, well . And if she’s lying, well…

It’s absolutely for certain that there’s at least one sadistic bully in the family, though. Or more than one depending whether or not this is actually true. No wonder she tried to wipe this off the face of the earth. Repulsive.



Edit to put in spoiler for length. Separately but related, though not horrid. Almost comedic because it’s so contradictory.
This old blog with some ofthe posts from 2012&2013 (aka during The Poverty)is a fascinating read and worth a dig through by the way. The first two resolutions

New Years Resolutions: Echo & Gazette Column 1st Jan 2013

New Years Resolutions. You probably made some yesterday, or know someone who did. It’s an odd time of year; one for change and reflection for many, where promises to diet are made and probabl...
web.archive.org

So utterly traumatized by “more bread and jam mummy” that she talked about in in HH in July 2012, that mere months later she posts about having a well-established fun little company to sell her craft stuff called…

Bread And Jam

Just a quick note about my business, Bread And Jam. People ask me what I ‘do’, and it’s here. I hand make Cufflinks, cushions, cross stitch pictures, my own photography, children&...
web.archive.org
I get that we all change in 10 years, but the only thing that’s changed about Jack is the level of utter bullshit she lays on about what was going on in her life between quitting the fire service job in Nov 2011 and getting 24 articles written by her published in The Guardian from July-Dec 2013.
 
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Valiofthedolls

Also, what is this whitish stuff please, what is this brown stuff please, what is that thing in the brown stuff please, and what are those things in between the whitish stuff and the brown stuff with the thing in it? Are the in between things roast potatoes?!

Why does it all look like that? Why is she like this? Why does she do this? It’s all so wrong
 
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MistyWindows

Hahahahha I’m sorry, but I don’t have the answers you seek dearheart
I would like to know why is the ham in the other picture is grey

The brown thing appears to be some sort of nut loaf/roast with (knowing Jack) prunes stuffed in it. I’ve never seen food that looks like it’ll simultaneously make you shit yourself and clog you up for weeks

I have no idea what those are, I thought baby carrots but now I’m not sure. The mash look like lumpy wallpaper paste. She can’t get her head around potatoes can she, also anyone who has mash with a roast instead of roasties is an idiot. There I said it.
 
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Hunsgraveyard

Slop n slide said:
It would be interesting to see if these fake and parody accounts start to take up her space online and dilute it
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The beautiful irony of people taking Jack Monroe's space and reducing her visibility, after so many years of her doing precisely that to genuine people living in poverty
 
Reactions: 55
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