Jack Monroe #410 If you don’t give me money, the kid gets rickets

[NellieBoo]

This, except my personal demon says "These are the tomatoes I am growing for my lover"
Shudder.

My demon whispers 'These hands have made love' .

 

[Orphan_Black]

 

[Jelly Bean]

@SmolWarrior your avatar
I just watched the GameStop thing on Netflix and someone used the term “meme warfare” which is brilliant, and just what is happening to Jack. Anything she does is just met with memes about dire potatoes, rinsed hoops or mad food combos. And she can’t deal with it. A young person would make their own laugh-along memes, change their background to potatoes etc. An older media savvy person would just ignore it. Jack can’t bear it because she has to argue with every dissenter. There’s too many of them. And she has zero sense of humour.

That is very interesting - that is exactly what is happening to her. Her only comeback is to call it 'relentless abuse'. It is really intermittent ridicule. Which to her is far worse.
Her problem is she wants people to envy her and also pity her. Her lack of conviction in her 'work' means she can't concentrate on the importance of it and ignore so called haters.
As you say if she had less of an ego she probably could handle this new turn of events and even use it in her favour.
I imagine she'll just double down by equating the ridicule to unproven stalking, death threats etc.

 

[Nonah]

How are they pretending to be you, you absolute nit wit. Do you not know what parody means?

 

[kirkvanhouten]

She's trying to move over to Instagram to control the trends. On twitter, people can easily search her name and it is synonymous with grifting and fraud. She can control the narrative on Instagram - there is no trending. She can delete the comments.

 

[Menopausal Stormtrooper]

Is combing all the hair on your head in one direction a thing again?

 

[StatusWoe]

She doesn't believe in sex before marriage. She never got married, therefore she's never had sex.

I disagree with Widdicombe politically but I must say I've got respect for the fact that she a;ways seems to have lived by her principles in her own life. She's not like one of those politicians that preaches family values then gets caught with her pants down shagging the parliamentary aide or whatever, so, ya know, fair play to her.

Also, maybe she's like our dear Jackie and gets her sexual kicks from sitcking her fingers into a tin of anchovies and jostling her ovaries.

Seeing as people are discussing sex work and Ann Widdecombe (this thread has moved into strange uncharted waters! ), canal might be interested to know there was a documentary where Ann Widdecombe 'investigated' the sex industry and the lives of female sex workers. From what I remember, she basically followed them around and did a lot of tutting. I'm not up to date with this thread, so perhaps this was mentioned earlier?!

Oh LJC, this is a prime absolutely ovary, artery and courgette curling example of that, even for those with none of the three above. Seriously, an amoeba would cringe itself into oblivion at Dangerous Poetry Slam Edgelord Jack

“OH NO, FUCK OFF, I REALLY AM SHY AND RETIRING”


Equally appalling and absolutely incandescent with self-adoration, but a lot less snotty sounding back than. Makes you think…

As a reminder, she has “hundreds” more of these “poems” to share with the world at any moment. Be afraid, pals. Be very afraid.

Anything but Poetry Slam Jack! We've suffered enough. Many threads ago, I told fraus I'd never made it more than 2-3 minutes into the video because the cringe is unbearable. This is now my 4th (?) attempt and I'm having the same problem. Don't think I'll ever be able to witness a full poem.

My ovaries are curling in on themselves, gently embracing their curvilinear, soft, gentle and soft and gentle forms. They screech with the stuck stock still shaking rage of a thousand harpies: ''Think twice about having children! You may be given a cursed Monroe foetus.'' I threw my eggs into a magic puddle and watched them gently, rapidly dissolve into the rippling translucence of the ombre sheen of the shiny surface. The ovaries applauded and cheered. My neighbours stood on their balconies and clapped just as they had for the NHS workers during lockdown. This time, their clapping was louder and more appreciative because we all knew I had done something truly great for humanity. All at once, fighter jets came into view and wrote the word REVOLUTION across the sky in honour of my sacrifice. A line of schoolchildren with rickets began parading through the estate, chiming ''some eggs are bad eggs, some eggs are bad eggs''. I threw a pile of anchovies at them, and they smiled bright yet Dickensian smiles and scarpered eagerly towards the anchovies on their wobbly malnourished legs.

 

[binkbonk]

If we're doing the Sloppies this year, can we cancel the squig of the year category or whatever it was called?

A lot of the high-profile Jack haters are clearly on here, whether as posters or lurkers, so it feels weird.

Can it just automatically go to Tom Potatoes?

 

[moldwarp]

Thanks @Marmalade Atkins for some reason I’d forgotten that she claimed to have heated ALL HER BAKING TINS in the OVEN and put them in her BED as…wait for it…a cheap alternative to a hot water bottle and thick pyjamas.
And now I’m envisaging her clanking around in bed like the Tin Man
And it has ended me

 

[FrankReagan]

By tomorrow:

View attachment 1623627

Take on me….


NO.

ETA: Great minds, @Nurseali

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Jack's achilles heel is absolutely a lack of ability to laugh at herself. This is why she has lost it now on twitter as she is being ridiculed. The rinsed hoops, the potatoes, parody accounts.
She doesn't mind so much any accusations of fraud, laziness etc, she is actually shameless like that, it is ridicule she simply cannot handle. So calls it 'abuse'.

She cannot stand being laughed at, however mild and lighthearted it may be. Her grandiosity means she views herself as super important, special, intelligent, better than others etc and she expects others to hold her in that regard too. When people are laughing at her, they aren't complying with this view of her - quite the opposite - and it infuriates her. The other stuff won't get to her anywhere near as much as being made a mockery.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Super interesting that they’re throwing out an ebook of recipes she’s mostly already been paid for by corporate partnerships and labelling it as “free”. Smells like last minute damage control, to me.

 

[mince]

View attachment 1624634

You squeeze the liquid from a courgette before adding 250ml - TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLILITRES - of water to 125g of gram flour? And that’s published? Cheek of it. This, after everything, this right here might be my aneurism.

 

[BubbleDuck]

Did any Frau volunteer to run them this year? Our dear hose-eating Fox @Switchstreetz is unable to do it this year, and we only have a few weeks until SLPBT’s botday, when nominations traditionally open

I’m happy to give it a go , if a more experienced Frau/The entire F+D thread are happy to give me some tips - as far as I can remember, it’s thread asking for categories then voting then final award webpage? Although if I do it, I can not promise there will be a crossword because I think you will find I won bragging rights last year for being fastest completer and the temptation to protect them by refusing any challengers may prove too tempting

 

[FrankReagan]

Lol the FMs are going to be raging

Not ALL of them. I suspect a few neckbeards will be taking a spud and some tissues to bed tonight Sorry x

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Some of the quote tweet replies to the daft mare’s post are

Spoiler: Spoiler so people can skip if they want

And this one tagging in Mom and Martin Mate. Is this a pro Jack Stan or an anti Jack person?! WTF! “SEE THIS”

 

[HotesTilaire]

Mother of God if I’d read that in real time I’d have figured out what a billy bullshitter she is a whole 4 months earlier! How can she possibly expect people to think that happened (but of course the stans would have lapped it up…)

Actually that did cause a stir of squigs calling it out and tagging the Met Police demanding immediate investigation (in fairness this was one time where the Met was the relevant force). Unfortunately for Jack, other people have been visitors to Parliament (or The Big House, as she calls it. Which means prison to the rest of the UK but whatever) she had to admit she did have some ID and her name was on a list, because nobody bought it. Perhaps too soon after Sarah Everard’s murder or summat, people are a bit wobbly about law abiding popo

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

The sculptor probably is discombobulated by the hundreds of differing images of Jack they've found online.

 

[Geetbo]

While looking for an picture, I learnt that Ann Widdecombe is a virgin.

Not the most shocking news I've ever heard dear heart x

 

[Nurseali]

No jokes tender one, it is the intro to a recipe for anchovy butter pasta, in Good Food for Bad Days.

How bad would your day have to be. Like seriously I would need to have been made homeless, told that everyone I loved had died in a freak yachting accident and that I have gonorrhea.