Jack Monroe #410 If you don’t give me money, the kid gets rickets

[Mel Donte]

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Missed a bit:

 

[Boyo]

All mentions of roast spuds expunged from her timeline. (RIP Jack’s mum’s potatoes. We’ll never forget you.)


They’re all there. It always takes a while for the numbers to catch up.

She must be there now cos I saw the roasties tweet when she’d reactivated. We’re actually watching her trying to rewrite history in real time - what a time to be alive.

 

[That Forensic Man]

If someone could make a Jack version of this, I'd probably owl champagne until I literally STOPPED BREATHINGView attachment 1622928

Spoiler: Midnight danger click v2

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Couldn't she have re-activated at the weekend? I have job. Does she want me to stop breathing?!

 

[I steal names]

'very, very carefully, using a spatula, remove the pancake and turn it over'
Or in normal parlance, not to meet some word count criteria and trying to appear cheffy - 'turn it over'.

All I'm getting from the "very, very carefully" is that she is well aware this can easily turn into a mushy mess. Culinary genius that she is.

 

[MsGilmore]

Just seen the parody tweet and then Jack’s tweet.
She can give it out, but she can’t take it! I think that the parody account makes her look good. There’s a lack of of snark and narc rage!

 

[holliebollie]

I wrote ‘jam’ and ‘bread’ on my hand this morning as I had to pop to Aldi and I actually laughed out loud reading it back She should have had that tattooed on her hand instead of that shit quote.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

She's deleted the tweet telling everyone to report the parody account

Jack has also blocked the parody account.

 

[MooBelle]

womp womp

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First of all Jack, NO ONE thinks that is you.
Secondly, what are you reporting them for? They are just taking the piss. They are not calling for FMs to attack and doxx, they aren't rattling a tip jar to con well meaning people out of their money and they're funny.
It is actually a better account than the original.

 

[jenny2603]

Can't be arsed squigging for such low quality chat from halfwits but the flying monkeys have started on the parody account. One random thicko and a thirsty old man so far.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

The Bookseller gives one free article per month so some people might be able to access it below.

Jack Monroe's Thrifty Kitchen and free e-book signed by Bluebird

Bluebird has netted Thrifty Kitchen from anti-poverty campaigner and "national treasure" Jack Monroe.

www.thebookseller.com

ETA: Archive Link https://archive.ph/LvFiN

That Tonkinson woman is on another planet and her relationship with Jack is very...odd. And Rosemary the agent can get in the bin with her as well, abusive bully enablers, the pair of them. Ought to be down right ashamed of themselves.

 

[LadyGarden]

IMO Tom Potatoes deserves some sort of one-time Outstanding Achievement award.

Sculpted by an anon artist from Saffron Walden.

All hail the power of Tom the Potato Legend, for he will inherit the earth (in the gro bags).

 

[MrsFawlty]

She thinks she's being edgy, just like when she jokes about masterbation during her 'talks'. She needs to look up the word inappropriate before opening her gob, or her keyboard.

Also when she says "I'm really sweary" with the giddy hyena laugh and goes in to pepper the next few lines with swears.
Woo, go you maverick.

 

[AlwightDallin]

She’s gifted 700 followers to that parody so far well done Jack you PR genius

 

[Orphan_Black]

Have we ever seen Ann and Jack in the same room? Ann is only 5'1"

Right, whilst it's still quiet, I want to throw shit at her smol pixie schtick. I've always thought it was a lie, and she's about average at 5ft 6. Jack cannot be average at anything though and needs to be special and unique in all endeavours of life.

M'luds and Frau's, I present my FACTS evidence.

Spoiler: Exhibit One

Here is Jack and Pals at the Rainbow Honours award. Jack is stood in front of 6ft 2 Julien Clary. Julien is slightly leaning, so we can guess-timate that Julien is probably around 6ft in this picture.

Spoiler: Exhibit Two

Here is a second image from the same event. Can you see that our Jackie is wearing flat loafers? Julien was also in flats. Claire Sweeney is reported at 5ft 8 tall, and is wearing heels in this picture. Funnily enough her heels are about 6in tall. Look at their height difference and thus I present my case that Jack is around 5ft 6. No smol pixie, just Lil Miss Average. Boo, I guess.

 

[Emmapism]

Truly there is no public figure (lol) more persecuted than Jack Monroe. 10 years of daily abuse or a life beyond her wildest dreams?

*Who fucking knows*

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

How are they pretending to be you, you absolute nit wit. Do you not know what parody means?

I do hope Twitter doesn’t ban it. They can’t really when you consider the Boris johnson parody accounts etc. which were clearly marked as parody accts

 

[StatusWoe]

Do not make a joke about octopussy do not make a joke about octopussy

From Sarfend With Love
That Man with the Golden Plum
Spoonraker
The Grift Is Not Enough

''They Want Me to Die Another Day''

 

[Ooointitot]

It will be interesting to see how it fares against Sali Hughes book which really is aimed at the middle classes, imparting such wisdom as how to chop an onion. I guess Jack’s equivalent will be how to make an onion as unappetising as possible

Jack's Monroe, the first food writer in history to make the onion cry

 

[Valiofthedolls]

My demon whispers 'These hands have made love' .

Because I’m an equal opportunity demon whisperer I can’t post @MaineCoonMama’s and leave you unwhispered to, dear heart

Spoiler: Hands: Send Exorcist-os

Personally, even though that makes me I am equally traumatized by the thought there are still “hundreds of poems and songs and essays” she’s yet to inflict on an unsuspecting world.

PS don’t bother taking photos of your hands, 2018 squigs, she doesn’t give a fuck about them. She just wants to talk about herself and show off the ‘clever’ hashtag she just thought up.

EDIT: I’ve just realized she looks like she’s photoshopped a bowl of slop she was holding out of that hand picture