Jack Monroe #410 If you don’t give me money, the kid gets rickets

[Onestorytoomany]

Something tells me this book in Jan is going to tank.

1: is just after christmas, so people will be skint.
2: the cost of living crisis, people are not going to choose between a 'shit tip" book and eating or heating.
3: it looks like its full of nonsense.
4: Her fanbase( the ones who actually know who she is) has dwindled.

In all honesty it seems like a waste of ink and paper.

 

[PickledRadish]

The squigs ('REPORTED!') are so utterly over invested in white knighting her that it's almost like watching a chaos by proxy.

Spoiler: off topic-y

I listen to the Americast podcast and they have a segment at the end where they have four profiles of people split demographically as a sort of social experiment into who gets what on their social media feeds - basically who gets picked for the really right-wing, populist stuff in the algorithm. Anyway it made me think about Jack's demographic and I think the core personalities of the most loyal, ferocious squigs are generally divisible into three main groups:

1) cringey FBPE types who are probably middle class in the majority and enjoy Jack as a sanitised, conventionally attractive mouthpiece for poverty who assuages their own guilt at the same time as allowing them to punch down on actual poor people ("she's helping people FEED THEIR FAMILIES!!!" Editor's note: is she fuck).

2) horny people - mostly men - who equate her being terminally online with a higher likelihood of getting a single crumb of attention thrown their way. Unfortunately this group of thirsty squigs do not seem to have stood down even despite multiple shrunken head pics and one of not her fanny.

3) people - often women - who say things like "cockwomble" and "wankbadger" who think Jack's tough girl energy (think 'you start chatting absolute pony about budget meal planning' is aspirational and use lots of nauseating adverbs (think 'softly, gently'). Jack is relatable to them because she also sounds like an exhausting self-aggrandising cunt.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Jack is diverting everyone over to Insta to get them tasty, tasty subs for exclusive content.

New platform, same scam.

 

[queenfeline]

I keep her in my orangery

Jack lives rent-free in my head, I am her landlord

 

[That Forensic Man]

This seems to be going well for you, Jack.

Parody account was on 274 followers when you tweeted about them. Free publicity was a very kind thing for you to do.

It's like Patreon Watch, but with the figures going in the opposite direction

Spoiler: Parody follower count

View attachment 1622556

407 to 551 in the last 40 mins

 

[I’MBUSY!]

Hilarious to me that the Tom Waits “Laryngitis Lounge Sessions” are still up on Twitter.

Can’t believe that survived the purge!

 

[moldwarp]

Morning loves. I have a vital deadline today so here I am instead. Just wanted to comment on a post from about 7 pages back - some middle of the night hilarity re Jack droning on at AA meetings & how awful for the other attendees. I have attended only a handful of meetings some time ago - sat at the back trying not to draw attention to myself. IIRC the chair of the meeting kept a tight rein on the stories being shared & the length of time a person could speak for. I'm fairly sure there was guidance to keep the shares to the persons experiences with alcohol & staying sober, that it was not a time or place for me-railing or advice seeking or giving. The timer was invoked gently or less gently if the off topic or running on continued (bit like on here sometimes).
Please would experienced fellowship fraus chip in if I'm getting it wrong. But if my recollection is correct it reaffirms my view that JM does not attend meetings at all. The way she has talked of going to a meeting to share about her day of mortgage applications etc does not ring true at all.
So on the one hand, she's bullshitting about something so precious & vital to its members, on the other at least if it's made up no-one is actually having to suffer her company. x

All meetings are different. Timed sharing and restrictions on subject matter are relatively new innovations in AA and more common in big cities ime. Smaller meetings in regional places tend to be more old fashioned and you can wang on about whatever you like, just like in the good old days . (Unless you’re in the famous Venice Beach meetings where everyone wears suits and wangs on about God.)

Personally I think Jack only ever went to 12 step meetings seeking narc supply, which is also a fairly common phenom, and because she wanted an excuse to preach at people on Twitter and stop them questioning her.

Plot twist: it’s not working any more.

 

[Goldman]

Oh yes, so fair.

 

[jenny2603]

Hilarious to me that the Tom Waits “Laryngitis Lounge Sessions” are still up on Twitter.

Can’t believe that survived the purge!

She's such an epic throbber, she probably left it up because she thinks we're seething about it. Poor stupid Jack, doesn't realise it's like Christmas on here when she makes a total clown of herself.

 

[bladiesla]

Still off Twitter! Wow. Is this going to be a record? Will she ever come back?

I was thinking about that bizarre IG post where she talks about SB laughing at her sexy pictures. Thankfully, I doubt the veracity of that piece of Monroe ick, but it makes me wonder: what response did she hope to elicit from that story? It shows a total lack of boundaries, for one thing. It's yet another example of Jack centring herself. They could look through old photos of SB so they can laugh at baby pics or reminisce about nice days out, but nope - Jack chooses to focus on her own photos. Even worse, she suggests that her young son is interested in looking at her arty photos. I don't know her son's exact age, but he's in the range of 'peak disinterest' when everything parents do begins to get awkward and he'll want some space. So, considering all that, why would she post it? Do you think she likes the negative attention as much, if not more, than the praise? I'm beginning to think Jack's one of those people who get bored when there's no drama, so she chooses to create it by posting provocative messages (provocative meaning controversial, attention-grabbing - not sexy). You know how those people on 'Housewives of -Some Rich Place-' always love stirring whenever friendships are going too smoothly? Like that.

Spoiler: Drama Llama

My mum brought out old photos of a trip we took to the farm where we got spat on by an angry llama. That llama was the Jack Monroe of the animal world, exhibiting unprovoked hostility and inexplicable teeth, and it must have known I'd become a future frau. Anyway, I think that's the sort of thing SB might find funny - shared memories of silly things.

This is not the llama, but it's near enough. In fact it looks a bit like an interchangeable alpaca?

View attachment 1621927

It's bizarre, but not surprising. When she posts pictures of her kitchen you can see that the photos she puts up on her fridge(s) are all from herself, not others. She wants to be the main character in everything. Not sure if she wanted negative attention about SB, she just wanted people to say they loved her pictures and that they love her. SB was a prop there to bring them up (and she didn't consider it would sound weird). That's my theory.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Someone described Jack as a pick me earlier, I d heard the term but didn’t really know what it meant. It really is Jack to a T, right down to the obsession with height. This is from the Urban Dictionary-


A girl who acts different around boys than they do girls, and they have a lot of "guy friends" and act like girls are always trying "too hard" for guys…
They say "quirky" when describing themselves.
"Omg! I am so short! I'm only 5,4! don't laugh at meee!""Um.. i dont wear that much makeup! haha i only wear chapstick and mascara i am just not like the other girls hah..." pick me girl.

 

[Justwantingbothsides]

Update

 

[moldwarp]

Same thing with Jo Cox. She took a tiny SB to a vigil and took a tonne of photos trying to imply she was assisting the family and was in some way involved with the family.
Jo's real life friends told Jack to fuck off inserting herself into the family's grief.

Shes not a feminist in any way shape or form. I think she’s got a lot of internalised misogyny. Plus, she’s a Pickme to the max.

Anchovy butter is obviously a thing, and it’s lovely, which is why I take exception to Jack implying that she’s invented it and doing so in such horrible purple prose as to make it sound disgusting.

That bit about groaning ovaries reminds me of Spike Milligan’s parody of Lady Chatterleys Lover.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

I don't think anyone can say anything about those glasses now a frau has admitted wearing similar.
WARNED

*shuffles feet Britishly*

 

[Geetbo]

How big are her lips in that profile picture, she is starting to look like a spitting image character. Please stop pet.

Omg she’s Kat Slater from Bo Selecta.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Got home just now and turned the TV on to be met with a nasal honk while I was putting the shopping away and thought she'd somehow got another TV gig but fortunately it was only Ann Widdecombe

 

[LavaFlake]

It's giving

 

[Tin Can Crook]

Lol

 

[Nottonightbabe]

‘I often get readers asking what they should do with a courgette and being a polite girl, I’m inclined to give an answer of the culinary variety.’

Really? You wrote that down? In a cookbook?

She's really not funny in the slightest and her attempts at innuendo (or indeed being 'sexy' ) come across as creepy and disgusting tbh .

 

[ChickenPorridge]

The sad part is the potato head mock up is only 1% more ridiculous looking than the actual profile pic she's put up 🥲