Jack Monroe #399 Catastrophically embarrassing

[Griftymcgriftface]

I’ve found the ultimate investigator

I'm watching Fingers Kerridge making roast potatoes on the Food Network. It brings to mind her miserable Christmas dinner.... The congealed waxy attempt that was both undercooked and burnt.

I wonder if she'll wake up and start a commentary on today's events

And you have just reminded me of my aneurysm. When did did the slow cooker dinner with no toasties and NO ONE MINDED

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

And make the personal account private, PLEASE!!

Imagine what her personal account is actually like…..

 

[Bwidge]

The housemate is an odd one because, if that person is paying rent, it means she can't possibly be spending 93% of her wage on bills. It also makes her move onto the sofa very tricky logistically.

 

[Smeghead]

Plus Jack will just see it as Caroline's fault because she LEFT taking her hands with her. Poor smol pixie cannot possibly be held responsible for anything when there are others around who could be blamed instead.

It’s crazy she still hasn’t addressed the Patreon properly. How hard is it to apologise and send an email detailing what she will do to sort it out. All these people sending her money and no thanks, no communication, nothing. She knows she’ll lose a load of money through cancellations if she does, it’s the only answer - but her fans just can’t see it

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Have you guys never heard of prince and the pauper. Poor old harry is a prince but a pauper too.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

This was the current housemate's first mention...

December 2021

 

[Whaa?]

Validly. The alleged housemate is a new character. He (definitely male person) was let into the house after living in his car. He provided lots of Lego figurines for decorating a bedroom. He's a fit, healthy labourer character who eats a lot. And he appeared out of nowhere and IT'S SO STRANGE
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What the actual duck is all of this?!

I think it's the top tier trolling she mentioned recently (after the concert).

 

[Veronicaaa]

When did did the slow cooker dinner with no toasties and NO ONE MINDED

Despite SB and LJC specifically requesting them just 24 hours previously.

 

[KingBabar]

Can I add Banacek and Petrocelli to the detective squad?

 

[jenny2603]

Despite SB and LJC specifically requesting them just 24 hours previously.

SPITE JACK SAYS SHAN'T.

 

[Veronicaaa]

This was the current housemate's first mention...

December 2021
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Poor Mini. I can't believe that was just a few months ago.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

i cant help but think that "block me, im out" is her housemate. I know he is probably not, but i cant stop thinking that he might be.

 

[hoopdedoo]

This guy was good at solving people's problems. Maybe he could mentor Cooper and Content for a bit. Or maybe just take them with him on his travels.
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Hobo would be very helpful if SB or Content got lost in the Essex wilderness....

 

[Cucumberthunder]

You’re so right! I can’t wait until she regurgitates some half-understood thing she’s read on Twitter and claims she’s definitely not bisexual because that’s a transphobic term implying there are only two sexes. Twitter will just implode.

She's dangerously close to what (not a murderer) OJ was saying recently about same sex attraction and if those streams cross I think the twitter servers might have a meltdown.

 

[Whaa?]

mentions of Tom Kerridge reminded me he has recently released a budget cook book. Another reason to be on Jacks tit list.
Apologies if already covered.

 

[Boyo]

Just catching up but has she been deleting from last night? I don’t know what but it just doesn’t look right.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I’ve found the ultimate investigator

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And you have just reminded me of my aneurysm. When did did the slow cooker dinner with no toasties and NO ONE MINDED

Carrie Matheson off her meds. Nowhere to hide.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

What the heck have I just read? She's absolutely demented.

Anyway, putting forth Miss Phryne Fisher for the crime squad. Her outfits are better than Jack's.

I've just found these murder mysteries on UKTV Play and they're really good when you just want something to veg in front of.

Mod edit: Please, let us move on from the detective chat.

 

[jenny2603]

mentions of Tom Kerridge reminded me he has recently released a budget cook book. Another reason to be on Jacks tit list.
Apologies if already covered.

Fingers is just flaunting his criminality now. The police must act.

 

[Foxvint]

Been said before and more articulately but this constant not remembering what she's previously revealed screams blackout to me