Jack Monroe #397 Note to self pick up more Lil’ smokies when in Tblisi

[jenny2603]

Agree. How can she be getting any enjoyment from life? She sits on twitter all day and night like a malignant spider hoping to be offended. She has a family, child, pets who (for unfathomable reasons) might like her full attention.
Yet she choses to indulge in endless nonsense and point scoring.
All the 'threats' against her are online. So go offline
In a few years, when SB has left home and her parents are elderly, she will look back and realise what a bleeping waste of time it all was.

BIB: Thread title nomination.

 

[Vinbisha]

Will you no treat us to a song, apparently snotty stuffy singing, espcially in an place with great acoustics. Is the way the young uns are doing it now. A fantastic or even half decent singing voice is not mandatory either.

I can't believe I nearly missed this opportunity!
What do we want? I can do you Pat Benatar in the downstairs loo? Tom Waits in the utility room? Barry White in the cellar?

ETA Look out for my new Cluedo edition. Fun for all the family

 

[Thank(space)you]

Is it too much to ask for a light hearted chaos? This is a bit heavy for me Jack. I'd even take tank jack back

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I wonder what happened to the guy who wrote for Private Eye? He's disappeared

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Also



Erm... police generally work for the public for free and isnt her lawyer pro bono or whatever. So what is expensive about the action being taken. Fair enough if the lawyer is now charging but she keeps saying hes pro bono or whatever. So there is the confusion.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

Sending middle class love and hugs … BUT “I’m not poor” and “wouldn’t eat that tit food” vibes THIS is her core audience! People who wouldn’t use her recipes and certainly wouldn’t want anyone to think they had to but like the idea someone is helping the plebs who can’t budget or cook

 

[Helena Handbasket]

You've just reminded me (while I'm having a fag on the step) that I totally forgot to chop, lime and freeze the massive bag of apples my neighbour dropped off. Bollocks.

Don’t worry-see it as an opportunity to add a few chopped slices of cheap wet ham and a teaspoon of any herb or spice as all are interchangeable. Just defrost as needed and blend in an ancient vintage Magimix with a scoop of rinsed hoops. Go well.

 

[HotesTilaire]

She's very good friends with Chelsea Flower Show and Kingston Upon Thames.

I used to hang out with Shoreditch High-Street before she sold out

 

[Here_Hold_My_Hat]

She's got Hamble eyes! OMFG!!!

Is that anything like Bette Davis eyes?

Well, after the news yesterday of someone being jailed for stalking, etc, did we really think she was going to miss out on that as an opportunity to turn the whole thing into a me me me story to squeeze out even more sympathy from her enablers?

Wait - hold up! Jack identifies with the victims in that story? Because I had her pegged for the main character - encouraging a large follower base to heap hate on others?

 

[Beansbeans]

Is it too much to ask for a light hearted chaos? This is a bit heavy for me Jack. I'd even take tank jack back

But not fanny flashing jack. Or burger sex maniac jack. There need to be some limits.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Wait - hold up! Jack identifies with the victims in that story?

Of course she does. Jack's the victim in everything. I couldn't believe it when she posted the link (just last night??) saying that the parallels were amazing because yes they are .... just not in the way she seems to think.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

17t at six foot isnt really that heavy.hes just a bit chunky.

"let me know if you need my services"

 

[Helena Handbasket]

"That dreadful Molly creature..." Jack isn't the only Nana on twitter at the moment. Do y'all Brits really talk like that as a matter of course?

Nope and her squigs all seem to mimic her dreadful, affected speech pattern. That or it’s the accent of our deluded middle classes and I’ve just been lucky or poor enough to have never met any.

 

[jenny2603]

Sending middle class love and hugs … BUT “I’m not poor” and “wouldn’t eat that tit food” vibes THIS is her core audience! People who wouldn’t use her recipes and certainly wouldn’t want anyone to think they had to but like the idea someone is helping the plebs who can’t budget or cook View attachment 1586294

I'm kind of hoping that particular demographic can be worked up into enough of a frenzy that they'll live on Jack slop for a week to raise money. I just want to see them start to go quiet a drift off after a few meals.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Sending middle class love and hugs … BUT “I’m not poor” and “wouldn’t eat that tit food” vibes THIS is her core audience! People who wouldn’t use her recipes and certainly wouldn’t want anyone to think they had to but like the idea someone is helping the plebs who can’t budget or cook View attachment 1586294

Someone said that to me recently ‘well her food looks disgusting’ SHES A bleeping FOOD WRITER!

 

[Georgia C. Suppers]

I was just having a little thought about her reality TV comments. That she’s turned loads down.

I’m inclined to believe her. She’s the right type of famous - known, but not *too* well know - and argumentative as hell; which makes great TV.

But why would someone who is so fame hungry ‘turn down’ reality TV? She clearly thinks she’s a great singer and dancer. And all round superstar. So the only thing I can think of, is that it’s because she knew she couldn’t do reality TV and continue with her substance abuse. So perhaps if she really *is* now clean, that’s going to be the next move…hence the aesthetics work, all the appearances, singing on Twitter etc.

Which would honestly be incredible, because under that sort of pressure, her true self would come shining through…

 

[Helena Handbasket]

BMI 32.2. Well over overweight and into obese.

Yeah I mean c’mon mate, you’ll have to catch me first.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Crikey why does she never ever use trigger warnings. Nobody wants you dead pet and i for one feel so bad for your kid that it seems like he is sometimes an after thought, but i have often said i know he probably loves you as you are his mum and we cannot pick them.

I wish you no harm. I honestly wish you would just be more present for your kid, tbh!

 

[Beansbeans]

One of those big questions but how intelligent is Jack? I don’t mean academically as you can be very clever without qualifications (I do resent her claiming to have a PhD) but in a broader sense.

On one hand she makes ridiculous mistakes when overreaching for grand phrases and vocabulary, and thinks she can get away with obvious socks, and repeats the same patterns of behaviour. Her bluffs and lies suggest that she doesn’t really have a lot of knowledge and just googles or guesses in place of expertise.

But on the other hand, her tricks work. They fool about half of the people all of the time, it seems (previously it was most of the people). She is very good at manipulating, however obvious and unethical her techniques immediately seem to us. And she is, surprisingly, unpredictable. I know we recognise her patterns but she still shocks us with how far she’s prepared to go to distract and throw up a smokescreen.


she seem shallow and dull in many ways - but she’s still kind of succeeding at the grift and nobody has brought her down yet, even though there are so many knowledgeable people determined to make this stop.

Jack, if you’re reading this, take the compliment if you like, but I genuinely dont think this is going to last for you. It has a shelf life.

PS the above was not a threat.

I think it's less that she dupes people with her intelligence, and more that her preparedness to brazenly lie works because most people don't lie most of the time, and they expect others to hold the same values and so are taken in by even the most flaky bollocks she comes out with.

(I have thought about this a lot after realising how much my ex could trick me by just brazenly lying with conviction)

 

[Captainmouse]

Why did she hide in the bathroom to sing i thought sb loved her singing?

She wasn’t at home when she made that, she was at soho