Jack Monroe #397 Note to self pick up more Lil’ smokies when in Tblisi

[SpudYouHate]

First finely dice or, if you have the patience, grate your bread. My hands seize up in the cold weather – and goodness it has been cold lately – so I confess I tore mine into chunks and threw it into a very old MagiMix that I found for £10 in the Southend Vineyard charity shop a few months ago. It is not an essential piece of kit for everyday use, but I use it in place of my wrists and hands when they are being defunct, and it allows me to carry on doing my work. So I suppose if you have a food processor, tough blender or little bullet style blender and don’t mind the extra washing up, you could use that. Anything goes, as long as your bread is in little pieces at the end of this stage."



Even the mixer has to have been found miraculously in a charity shop. I'm on PIP and single person Universal Credit and i have a kitchen chef. I paid for it. I didnt find it in a puddle. It doesnt mean am not poor. It just means I needed a good dough hook

[/QUOTE]
I know, she has to overexplain EVERYTHING.

 

[Ablemabel]

I just went and looked again at episode 6 of DKL (THE ONE WITH THE WHITE SAUCE/MILK) and jesus christ. Matt asks her how she comes up with recipes and she says "One and done". On pressed to elaborate confirms - with no shame - that the vast majority of her recipes feature no fine-tuning whatsoever. She "comes up with something weird" and that's that.

How in the name of all that's holy do people seek out her recipes over literally anything else?

I rewatched this a few weeks ago. LFC I cringed inside out. It wasn't just the lack of charisma and god awful cooking, but she snarked at Matt at least twice. Never been invited back, eh? Makes you think.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Is it because she's an attention-seeking, sympathy-seeking liar who refuses to seek out a proper job to make an honest living, posts endlessly about all her many, many dubious illnesses/conditions, disgraces her family, begs for donations and flashes her fanny on Twitter? Ah. That might be it.

I really think that twitter rots the brain. People can be whoever they want to be, whoever they say they are, even if it has no bearing in reality at all. We should be more aware of this by now. But apparently Jack is the last of the dragons.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

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I bet Danny Dyer has done a documentary about this geezer.

Alright Hulk Hogan, calm down. Not sure all 17st of you is going to be much use given we are all faceless ninnies. What are you going to do? Tweet menacing selfies in our general direction?

 

[SpudYouHate]

nigella really discrediting herself buying this crap.

Been looking at Nigella's Twitter lately and- despite her Jack weakness- she does it EXACTLY right.
She signposts to organisations who do good for local communities, she posts actually tempting-looking recipes, and she bigs up other cooks who she likes and wants to promote. She is SO good at what she does! She's polite, respectful and never snarky.
Now that is a professional account. I am impressed!

 

[jenny2603]

I rewatched this a few weeks ago. LFC I cringed inside out. It wasn't just the lack of charisma and god awful cooking, but she snarked at Matt at least twice. Never been invited back, eh? Makes you think.

I think Matt would have a full on nervo if they asked her back. The poor guy must have been horrified watching it all unfold.

 

[Lurkingandlaughing]

I think the thing that I find most weird about the Jack Monroe celebrity model is how much they love other peoples trauma and misery. Coroners reports for real people, with families...a glib way to deflect criticism. Thats a report with the details of someones death, their family are likely grieving, and not a consideration of how it might feel to have someone hoarding documents with those details to flash as a twitter shield. Food poverty, an opportunity. PTSD, a label to avoid criticism. Autism, disability etc. I remember when austerity began and the deaths from starvation came in, these ghoulish hyper privileged media wannabes were delighted. When Jack was defending the Asda shilling, Jack screeching 'people will die' to deflect from criticism of herself. Even the oncologist stuff. Its weird and its ghoulish, but when the things they are adopting, byt the speed at which they solicit abuse to people for whom actually that is reality, is telling. Really telling

 

[Veronicaaa]

Been looking at Nigella's Twitter lately and- despite her Jack weakness- she does it EXACTLY right.
She signposts to organisations who do good for local communities, she posts actually tempting-looking recipes, and she bigs up other cooks who she likes and wants to promote. She is SO good at what she does! She's polite, respectful and never snarky.
Now that is a professional account. I am impressed!

Just a shame she tells her followers to fund Jack I guess. Because that kind of undermines everything else.

 

[MoistenedGussets]

I mean, really. How does she attract so many followers idiots on twitter?

Is it because she's been on the telly? I've been on the telly! And the radio - TWICE!

Is it because she's a tit cook? I'm also a tit cook.

Is it because she's such a vulnerable smol wickle pixie standing at just 5' 1.7" She's .2 of an inch taller than I am.

Is it because she's 'poor?' I'm much poorer than she is.

Is it because she can sing like that? I also can sing 'like that'. Again, it ain't pretty ...

Is it because she's an attention-seeking, sympathy-seeking liar who refuses to seek out a proper job to make an honest living, posts endlessly about all her many, many dubious illnesses/conditions, disgraces her family, begs for donations and flashes her fanny on Twitter? Ah. That might be it.

It's because, again apologies for offence..
she's an abuser.. she'll scream high heaven she isn't but, what do abusive people do?

They look for ways to manipulate people into getting what they want. They'll adopt whatever persona, or mask, is needed to get what they want. Be it disabled, sick, LGBT, autistic etc.
Then, once they've convinced you of their lies, everyone that tells the truth is painted as the one that wrong, the one that's crazy, the one that's abusive.

So much of it is exactly Jack tactics that, if she were a man and her fans were her wife, he'd be an emotionally coercive narcissistic abuser and you'd be begging for scales to fall from fans eyes, for them to get their ducks in a row and LTB.
She's not clever, not half as clever as she thinks, she just targets the right people. Poor, lonely, autistic, LGB, non binary, single.mums etc etc.

 

[Mrsoverall]

Or get herself up the duff?

With horse spunk lasagne sauce and a big old turkey baster?

I guess?

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

I really think that twitter rots the brain. People can be whoever they want to be, whoever they say they are, even if it has no bearing in reality at all. We should be more aware of this by now. But apparently Jack is the last of the dragons.

I agree, the problem is it has spilled out into the real world. That's why things seem more hectic and polarised than ever in my opinion, social media in general is squawking away in most people's pockets and it is hard to see the truth of things, even when you know the algortihm isn't to be trusted.

If someone wants to exploit that state of affairs it's easier than ever now.

 

[SpudYouHate]

I think the thing that I find most weird about the Jack Monroe celebrity model is how much they love other peoples trauma and misery. Coroners reports for real people, with families...a glib way to deflect criticism. Thats a report with the details of someones death, their family are likely grieving, and not a consideration of how it might feel to have someone hoarding documents with those details to flash as a twitter shield. Food poverty, an opportunity. PTSD, a label to avoid criticism. Autism, disability etc. I remember when austerity began and the deaths from starvation came in, these ghoulish hyper privileged media wannabes were delighted. When Jack was defending the Asda shilling, Jack screeching 'people will die' to deflect from criticism of herself. Even the oncologist stuff. Its weird and its ghoulish, but when the things they are adopting, byt the speed at which they solicit abuse to people for whom actually that is reality, is telling. Really telling

Jack is like the human form of one of those magazines they sell at supermarket checkouts "I married my sister's dead twin!" type of thing.

 

[Mr Krabs]

6ft and 17 stone? Absolute unit.

JK. It’s perfectly normal just like Jack’s height and weight.

 

[Nurseali]

Holy bugger of jesus
What a day to work.

Ahhh deflection.. Smells of desperation, with a hint of fear and leaves a taste of bullshit in everyone's mouths. BoGOF via my PayPal.

 

[Mrsoverall]

Yeah, he'll appear with two snarling pumbles in studded collars on big chain leads and DESTROY us all.

Jenny numbers, you have DESTROYED me

 

[BurgerLaBill]

I know there's chaos going down again (isn't there always?). But what I fail to get my head around (after all this time) is why the hell would you rinse the sauce off the hoops? It could almost be a metaphor for her life. Self sabotage etc.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

The words "cheeky li'l duo" make me want to put my boot through the telly

 

[House of Carbonara]

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Ah yes, you can report her to the Flying Squad for the crime of... errr... collating Jack's contradictory tweets.

Also, learn. Your. Grammar, you moron. Either 'needs dealing with' or ' needs to be dealt with. Hrmpf.
Sorry, just me being annoyed at stupidness.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

"Dealt with" fucks sake. Can these freaks hear themselves?

This is a serious question but do the police charge you for their time or has she gone private detective. Is there a bunch of men/ women in parkas, trilbys with fake moutaches or red lipstick and sunglasses following everyone around town

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“Sunk fallacies and all that”?! Can we add sunk cost fallacy to big word things Jack doesn’t know much about, including what it’s actually called.

Unless by “sunk fallacies” she’s thinking it means her drawer of cocks in the bottom of a bucket of water? That’s PHALLUSES, you bollock sausage bothering charlatan

Words is words is words.

 

[PeepholePringle]

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Change the record! How many times do we have to read that "witty" observation about Venn diagrams that's not even her own original saying?