Jack Monroe #395 That’s not my fanny

[JombleWomble]

Oh no you don’t, please no, God no!! View attachment 1582783

SINGING JACK AND POETRY JACK ARE ABOUT TO COMBINE IN TO SONGWRITER JACK

This is not a drill. Ensure you have emergency drink and snack supplies ready, and memorise the number to call for help rearranging your organs if you accidentally cringe yourself inside out.

 

[WaffleKent]

I've been away for a couple of weeks, what have I missed ? (I've skim grunked don't worry)

I *really* want them to keep drilling about Del Monte

 

[colouredlines]

OK I caved.

Fuck. Me.

The forced attempted raspiness to "prove" the fictional laryngitis. The snarling. The moody filter. THAT LOOK TO THE CAMERA AT THE END.

I will die on this hill, this is peak Monroe Cringe. Nothing she does from now on can surpass this.

The filter is my favourite thing, because it means she recorded it, watched it, then thought, "Hmm something's not quite right. I appear to have been born with no sense of shame need a little hint of sepia - there, PERFECT!"

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

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Sorry but the distancing celebs are serving us bare minimum, I’m not gonna clap them they need to be calling this out for what it is - shameless profiteering and active scamming. Whether they chat to her softly, gently or blast her on Twitter idgaf this Patreon and PayPal tip jar money needs to go to foodbanks and charities not a dumb bum.

 

[PickledRadish]

Sorry, I’m clearly shit at neatly squigging from my phone

 

[boogera]

And of course I’m sure that she is complying with GDPR rules given all the data she is hoarding. I would also be really keen to see these actual receipts given I have kept a receipt from a purchase made on the first date I had with my now husband from 9 years ago and it’s pretty much all faded. You can barely see what everything was.

Hello - long time lurker, first time poster.

Popping in to comment as JM’s nonsense about the coroners reports touches on my work knowledges. GDPR only applies to the living however the common law duty of confidentiality continues to apply after death.

I’m fairly sure coroners reports would come under the definition of confidential patient information as defined in s251 of the NHS Act 2006. JM would need a legal basis to access this confidential patient information (or, more correctly, the coroners office would need assurance that a legal basis was in place in order to release this information without breaking the law).

Of course, the reports could be anonymised, in which case no breach of the common law duty.

 

[Bumbear]

Morning canal...

I'm just returned from holiday and am not currently EXHAUSTED...so I've updated the wiki with yesterday's evidence from the FOI to the ONS, the Martin Daubney tweet confirming no action was taken, a better description of what is triangulation (I don't know how to insert the red triangle, so if someone can tell me, I'll add that in).

And finally - the Pumble is now in the dramatis personae (seemed the right place for it to go, since it's been sentient for a while).

Now I'm off for a piss and a sandwich as I'm no longer on holiday, and must return to the toils of the real world (i.e work).

 

[CEB1980]

Did a bit of detectiving and the two follower account thats been asking Molly where the lie is in Jack’s ONS claims is….well, literally a stock photo with a pair of glasses superimposed. Hmmmmm, who could it be?

 

[FrankReagan]

Wonderful #content, you funny, clever and all-round marvellous cabal. Now fuck off x

Spoiler: Merail. CW: Death

The death of both my parents required Coroners reports, a year apart. I’ve never seen the reports but the lovely Coroner (same for both) telephoned me to tell me the causes of death. She was immensely kind and reassuring. No background info was ever taken for either parent in that process, it was solely a medical examination. I can’t begin to describe how furious and sickened I am by JM casually lying and mining misery and grief to big herself up. She’s a thoughtless, heartless, craven, despicable bastard. It actually upset me seeing those tweets (again) but your informed & righteous reactions cheered me up. Thank you all x

 

[jenny2603]

Yes, thanks for addressing the grifter shortage and explaining you haven't shared a picture of your fanny, Jack. Much valuable public service.

 

[girl1980]

Early nomination for thread title "Surely nobody outside the cult is taking them seriously"!!!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Please do let us know, Jack, where you donated all this cash that people gave you under the false pretence it was for legal fees. The last time I checked Jack Monroe was not a registered charity.


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Bringing over my screenshot from the previous thread as this is important.

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You know, I’ve just realized that LITERALLY FORENSICALLY speaking, she said she’d donate the cash if the case ended up being pro bono. She didn’t say a word about what she’d do with all that lovely free money she grifted for legal fees if there never ended up being a case at all.

 

[Wooh]

This one had me laughing into my Jaffas. So irrelevant *and* irreverent and so innocent

 

[Brian Butterfield]

thanks to Jack for teaching me that developing crushes can be considered part of your working hours; I will now be billing my employer for all of my time spent daydreaming about Sean Bean

Sean Bean is a big fan of Fray Bentos pies and anal porn. I cannot divulge how I know this

 

[jenny2603]

YAY! The paypigs are still paying!

The "her" they're referring to in the tweet is Molly.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Twitter ONS is ratcheting up - gushing first two screenshots are from Emily Maitlis and Jay Rayner

 

[BurgerLaBill]

Bullshit on the Coroner's reports. Also, if I died and she accessed mine, I'd come back and fucking haunt the grief plying, grifting, poverty tourist, middle class-playing working class-as cosplay cunt. As you can see, I've woken up in a lovely mood. When oh when is she going to be held accountable, properly?

 

[Observ@h]

She also says she’s autistic, has crumbling bones, teeth that fall out when she looks at something the wrong way, and has displayed dishonesty about literally every other aspect of her life whilst at the same time throwing her loved ones under a bus at any given moment in order to either defend or deflect (from) herself.
can you help me understand why the NB part should be off limit to the group but not the other parts?
ETA: I should say - NB is something I have absolutely no feelings about either way. I’m not GC or anything - it’s more a point on the validity of anything Jack says and I think it’s fair for some to question this.

Here’s my clumsy attempt at answering this:
Gender issues are so hypersensitive at the moment. If Jack’s gender is discussed here, it’s more likely that Tattle is dismissed as a bunch of GC right wingers and that’s why they(we) criticise poor ickle Jack. As a topic it can strongly derail. Jack loves when we bring it up because it discredits us with the young and the left.

It’s not that her gender cosplay is less awful than her poverty cosplay or disabled cosplay or pretend activism.
It’s that we don’t need to bring it up because there are less controversial topics to go at. Stopping the grift and exploitation of low or no income people is the important thing.

Just my view dear @Lazarus *chef’s kiss* *weird crush* *pumble flash* wow, stop me!

 

[AlwightDallin]

Just seen someone on Twitter call her a middle class poverty larper and Fraus, I lol’ed

(Larp= live action role play, usually people dressed as hobbits brandishing axes but this time it’s just Jack pretending to be A Poor and holding a farmfoods bag full of pease pudding)

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

The faux concern tweets are always my favourites

thanks to Jack for teaching me that developing crushes can be considered part of your working hours; I will now be billing my employer for all of my time spent daydreaming about Sean Bean

Mr Goat looks like a younger Sean Bean
Not sure about his pastry product or porn preferences tbh.