Jack Monroe #395 That’s not my fanny

[flightofthealligator]

While it’s quiet(ish)…what is the plural of chaos? Chaoses? Chaosi? Chaoi?

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Did a bit of detectiving and the two follower account thats been asking Molly where the lie is in Jack’s ONS claims is….well, literally a stock photo with a pair of glasses superimposed. Hmmmmm, who could it be?

Forensically detected...
Now if you can triangulate the model..
You'd get the Marxist Jack Lenin Medal for services to Interweeb Detectoringy.
Presented by Jack Herself.


..
Yeah I wouldn't want it either .

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Ah a grey poverty jumper and a sad face. Can't believe Rishi Mate wasn't moved to send cashos.

I like that jumper.

 

[That Forensic Man]

Absolutely zero chance she hasn’t seen the chaos burning up her phone.

She’ll either deactivate FOR EVER (until tomorrow) and use her sock accounts or she’ll have a serious jaccident / illness / mental health crisis and use it as a reason your can’t have a go at her.

Maybe she’ll kill off her two friends in ICU or claim she turned down an invite to the Queen’s funeral. That’s the beauty of Jack, you never know what mitigating crisis will vanish her bad behaviour away!

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I know where my £20 is

I can't go and buy refreshments because my card has been blocked thanks to some bastards trying to use it for a fraudulent transaction and this is SO UNFAIR! I want wine while I watch the chaos!

(It's fine, the bank recognised it wasn't me immediately and blocked it so I didn't lose money. But I lost the opportunity for drunk chaos observing, which some might say is worse)

Babe, same. I have one bag of sweet n' salty popcorn I'm saving for when Jack reappears
Inhale greedily indeed

 

[girl1980]

When she pulls this, “Oh no I’m so sick, I have laryngitis, my bones are crumbling” etc etc shit, do you think these event organisers feel a huge amount of anxiety about whether or not she’ll actually show up? If I was relying on a speaker and they were dropping these hints I’d be so stressed assuming they were about to pull a sickie.

Oh no, I don't think so because she is such an honest-to-goodness grifter grafter.

 

[Whaa?]

Hang on a minute, the coroner's reports are in her bedroom, that's now SB's bedroom, that she basically made no changes to?
So the implication is SB is sleeping in a room containing 6 ring binders worth of coroner's reports? Absolutely grim.

She is now sleeping in the living room, so this would be grimmer.

 

[whereforartthoupumble]

This is all just completely mad, I can't keep up!

Been meaning to include this for days but @FlirtyThirty your profile pic is absolutely sending me

Do I go to bed or not is the question?!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Hotes, I take your point but keep in mind we had about two full threads of talking about a walrus so I don’t think it’s way off topic for someone to mention Jack’s gender.

Mods put a stop to that too!

 

[Whaa?]

She needs to step away from the food. Imagine if her food slots got the attention her tweets have been getting of late?

 

[jenny2603]

People are directly Tweeting her now.

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I'm just getting requested page could not be found. Don't know if it's my laptop being a dick or a problem here.

ETA: Ignore above, I can see the Squig in all their glory.

 

[auntylil]

Why does she feel the need to print these off and keep them in her library/bedroom when they’re freely available online? She’s such a ghoul.

I think you answered your own question, dear velvet one x

 

[Bugger13]

Today is a WILD ride! and I’m totally here for it. Might get some tins of Pina Colada and peanuts for tonight.

I hate her slagging off Jamie. He’s done tons more actual good than she has (redundancies are ok now, amiright?). Anyway, about him bandwaggoning ‘her’ work:

Yes, but don’t you know that Jack INVENTED budgeting and cooking? Single handedly.

 

[Nurseali]

There's only one way to find out...

I really want to know this.

 

[Monroebutnotinasexyway]

Oh no you don’t, please no, God no!! View attachment 1582783

 

[missbct]

thanks to Jack for teaching me that developing crushes can be considered part of your working hours; I will now be billing my employer for all of my time spent daydreaming about Sean Bean

Me, but with Timothee Chalamet*


*I'm 38 and he's 25.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

But you were just talking about good guy Google...

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Good grief

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Another one not long for this comment club

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ETA in the GMB vid she did that thing she did at Edinburgh, keep looking randomly upwards at the ceiling

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P.S. she didn't sound different AT ALL

She's getting that botox cat face thing.

 

[Greenway]

Ah Jack Monroe, in the words of my scouse fella (husband of 20 years) you are a bad knobhead, that is all

 

[Captainmouse]

Here she is...

Naahhh I reckon it’s

 

[JombleWomble]

OMG. This would be absolutely car crash telly. How do we make it happen, ninnies?

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Odds on Jack claiming she was invited to do this already but had to decline because she felt it would be unfair for a professional chef to compete with the common people?

 

[Captainmouse]

Whilst we’re mentioning Netflix, why have none of her numerous friends just given her their login details, like we all do (as some people allegedly do, hence Netflix clamping down). Why does she have to go to someone’s house to watch it?

Of course, and I hesitate to put this out there, she’s lying?

What friends?