Jack Monroe #382 Any thicker she’d set (unlike her white sauce)

[Lazarus]

Nice of her to try an alternative to ransacking badgers after I lodged my complaint but pandas on crack is not the one. I'd say try harder but the problem is she's trying too hard.

Also I'm about to do a Jacktionary update, can anyone please send explanationos for what she meant when she said Courtney Love was a psephologist, or does she do a sideline in analysing election results? While I'm at it does anyone know what the fricking heck a horn-clod is yet?

Have we got to the bottom of the gumshoe yet?

 

[Hollaaa]

"[You] curated Trifle Factor" from Squig's rant a couple of pages back has done me in already this morning. Send Sinitta-os.

 

[catgoldo]

Have the publishers gone the way of LJC, Old Harold, and the Burger Bonker?

If it hasn't already been said, threadiest of titles please!!

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Wtf

View attachment 1543031
What is that row of weird baby shit green balls?

Wtf is that!

 

[Pantomimehorse]

Oh please. Send smol violinos.

indeed, and the only thing she could come up with that Jack has helped her with is bringing back a expanding Asda range, something she had nothing to do with?

 

[Soap a Dope]

I've just looked at that butterfly account. It's definitely not Jack. Go back to 2017 and there's a photo of her baby with a birth certificate - full matching name on view.

Vile account though. Mouldy moth.

 

[lulu von bucket]

Spoiler: Teaspoons

41 and still eat dessert with a teaspoon - have been known to swap my dessert spoon for my coffee spoon in restaurants. Also insist on stirring ice cream until it's soft. Ice cream soup, if you will.

This makes me feel queasy. All kinds of wrong.

 

[Mrs Peel]

She 'liked' this:


"i need to know how leonardo dicaprio conducts these breakups. does he start picking fights months before they turn 25 to be less conspicuous? do they wake up on their birthday to a note that says “sorry i can’t don’t hate me” someone pls investigate"

 

[All I've Ever Wanted]

Really want to know how many people were on the publishing team.
Imagine a fresh faced intern tagging along to go the house of a famous food writer for brunch only to be served
View attachment 1542820

"these cherry tomatoes taste...interesting" you say weakly.

"Ah that'll be because I fried them" Jack grins like a Cheshire cat as you eye them dubiously.

"In cheese"

<camera pans into horrified pupil of eager intern before fading fully to black>

It looks like arseholes on toast

 

[Dogmuck]

paging @heretoreaditall2019 can we see your wonderful graphics on jacks patreon please (sorry cba with capitals etc)

 

[NeoCortex]

View attachment 1544365

I know this is old but it's haunting me. It's one of those Jack ones I put under alien pretending to be human. Also is it not fairly standard to be offered a fee to do a talk- even ones that Jack has made up in her head, is there a big NO FEES EVERRRRRR!!! campaign out there? I realise this barely registers in the Jack league of weirdness and the whole thread becomes even odder but it's just such a peculiar thing to make up.

I might go ask Shell if I can he head of new oils. Cos I am Jack monroe, and I read about shell in the times

 

[kachoochoo]

full disclosure - I've ended up commenting on the twitter viennetta thing cos it turned up on my timeline organically, i absolutely have not sought jack out!

also, that is not a viennetta!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Yes, sorry! Never sure about who to squig…

I think you never have to sqig a blue tick, regardless of the amount of followers they have. For me personally, I'd probably not bother to squig a non-blue tick if they have, say, 20k+ followers but I don't know if that's a hard and fast rule.

 

[ForgettyBetty]

View attachment 1542912

This is got to be fake..right?!

Deep sarcasm, my favourite kind.

 

[FrankReagan]

Any proof the strangers get the books?

View attachment 1543982

Yep, I’ve had one and I’ve bought one for someone else who posted a pic of the book.

 

[NellieBoo]

View attachment 1544365

I know this is old but it's haunting me. It's one of those Jack ones I put under alien pretending to be human. Also is it not fairly standard to be offered a fee to do a talk- even ones that Jack has made up in her head, is there a big NO FEES EVERRRRRR!!! campaign out there? I realise this barely registers in the Jack league of weirdness and the whole thread becomes even odder but it's just such a peculiar thing to make up.

I'm glad you agree with my alien creation theory of Jack, Jenny Numbers. I'll fashion you a tin foil hat. Bugger the expense.

 

[blurstoftimes]

Ha ha, thank you for this!


23 isn't bad surely?

the most underrated reality show EVER

 

[Captainmouse]

Allergic to content
Allergic to the truth
She just can't catch a break

Allergic to work
allergic to solid food
allergic to washing

 

[Slop n slide]

Has AM added her real first name to her bio or was that already there?

Edit: she added it a while back. Thanks for replying @Cucumberthunder

 

[NellieBoo]

]QUOTE="NeoCortex, post: 11512271, member: 224727"]
Or via a turkey baster

This is where little OJ who has, no doubt, probably never murdered anyone makes his move.

Not sure if he RENTS.
[/QUOTE]
Let's not invoke the LOJ by incanting his name .