Jack Monroe #382 Any thicker she’d set (unlike her white sauce)

[FrumpyCat]

The publishing team actually exist. Can’t help but think this is some sort of hostage situation

View attachment 1542808

Use the code word celery and we can have you out of there in 15 minutes.

Stay safe

 

[HalcyonDays]

I've just noticed that I've gone from Active Member to Well Known Member. Something Jack's latest shift working labourer never achieved (allegedly.) I am now so proud to feel like the local neighbourhood tomcat who is definitely well known in my vicinity. He probably howls, hisses and claws less than Jack though, to be fair to his hairy little balls. Awh

 

[Geetbo]

I think the arseholes are the elderly radishes. I don't know why she is like this.

I think I would rather eat pickled anus than any Jack recipe.

 

[jenny2603]

There's no video of her pissed on a train.

THREAD TITLE NOMINATION.

 

[SlopAmbsase]

I want to know if Owen Jones, who we have not yet conclusively proved to be a murderer, has anything to do with this:

 

[jenny2603]

It just all looks so soggy. And as for the combo - creamed spinach .. and chilli sauce? Dear god.
Why couldn’t she just do them a nice normal sandwich or something.
Also, remember this abomination that she gave poor Caroline for lunch one time? Has she never heard the saying “you eat with your eyes”? No wonder Caroline left.
View attachment 1544262

Poor Caroline. imagine her crying in the downstairs loo before getting it together and going out to eat every last mouthful under the unblinking gaze of the shark. I hope she nicked loads of stuff before she left.

 

[Mr Krabs]

The cutlery gives me the boak more than anything else. I’m really picky about it for some reason. Can’t be too big or too small and it really needs to be as plain as possible. (Also I insisted on eating afters with a teaspoon until I was quite an embarrassing age.)

I’m really picky about cutlery too. Hate anything that has that metallic taste. I just feel like those old spoons probably taste like licking an old doorknob (insert OH joke here).

 

[auntylil]

For me that was a painful read (not in a good way). And ill-informed at that. Contrary to what this piece states, she’s claimed to be working class on numerous occasions across the years. There are swathes of this piece that could be seized upon by Jack as a “gotcha” to any criticism of her (and not solely the compare and contrast with bad Jamie Oliver). And there are parts that are just nonsensical.

I am not coming from a position where I want or expect everything about her to be critical and get a thrill out of anything critical published. I thought that newer piece by Katie Roache (I’m making that name up I think-the one in past couple of days on the PDF download) was poorly written, inaccurate on even some basic facts and added nothing for eg. But particularly in the case of a press article or as here, academic research, I do expect it to be based upon rigorous (ie more accurate) research rather than, as here, cherry-picking to fit a predetermined academic thesis/argument. Some of this is so contorted to fit that thesis as to be nonsensical.

Also, and I say this as a former ‘academic’ with an actual Doctorate, but fuck me, academic writing can’t half be dry as fuck while being as overblown as fuck- a bit like the writing equivalent of a hoop skirt made of radiator orange peel on a rollercoaster on a particularly windy day.

PS I’m also irritated that it takes no issue with her Jeremy Kyle shite- almost lauds it as JM being clear she’s MC in fact

I'm going to agree with you. Whilst I'm no academic (what do you mean, none of you would have guessed you're all too kind) I forced myself to read that entire article and sat here shaking my head and saying "WTAF" out loud. My OH (who hasn't LEFT) was looking at me strangely (but gently, lovingly) asking what was concerning me. How to explain...?

If she reads that, she'll think it absolves her. That's my takeaway. It's long-winded and full of unnecessary wordery (yep, I made that up!), ie completely verbose! Perhaps that's just because it is a "scholarly" article, but it grinds my gears, so to speak. Not a happy ! Jack Monroe, grifter is still a scamming, lying...*


Where's that Matei (probably got the name wrong but Hi anyway!) gone when you need him?

*What were the chances of me searching for a cockroach gif and the first one that pops up is only eating a fecking burger! DYING!!

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Hahahaha love Bottom.
Sprouts of evil episode kills me..omfg that's where Jack got her recipes from

The Christmas episode where they don’t have brandy or butter so Eddie makes vodka margarine has me hooting and fizzing every time. Very Jack too, all ingredients are interchangeable.

 

[Boyo]

I feel I have truly found my people.

I use a spoon from my daughter‘s childhood cutlery set (she’s in comp now) which is smaller than a dessert spoon and slightly bigger than a teaspoon. Desserts just taste better with it. Especially trifle. Proper Mrs B trifle, not some abomination with gold spray and pickled arse slices.

 

[That Forensic Man]

@jenny2603 This is my aneurysm. Especially with a dog that's being allowed to take things from the table. So wholesome.
Nevermind the 12 year old

 

[ishant]

God Fraus didn’t know we’re basically Illuminati

 

[BoiledSoap]

She's the definition of histrionic personality disorder. No one has experienced autism like Jack has, or arthritis or ADHD. I can guarantee that a lot of people on this thread actually suffer with a lot of mental health and physical issues but don't document it 24/7 to try and one up other people. It's so infuriating, lmao the list of everything Jack's tried for arthritis pain, why bloody bother asking anyone when you've literally exhausted all options. Oh there won't be a pain medication or solution that works for Jack's arthritis, it's just much more severe than anyone else's we couldn't possibly relate. She does realise there's an abundance of non opiate based pain medication, it's just pointless attention seeking.

A close family member of mine is just like this. I have spinal cord damage that causes pain and neurological symptoms but that's nothing because he gets back spasms when he is stressed and I couldn't possibly understand and it's the worst pain he's ever had in his life. He has an answer for every malady you or anyone else has ever had, and the doctors told him it was the worst case they'd seen in 20 years. It's utterly exhausting and It's just made me actively dislike him. It's such a selfish way of viewing the world, as the eternal victim. Jack really reminds me of this. Ordinarily I would not care if a celebrity was so self obsessed and unpleasant, but she positions herself as the saviour of the poor and vulnerable, and it genuinely upsets me that whenever they look to her for help they just see someone who is wailing loudly about every problem, lashing back at the "haters" Donald Trump style, and just ignoring the actual real lived experiences and problems of her desperate followers. They deserve so much better, but somehow she makes them feel like they're at fault, rather than her. They've got her recipes wrong, or not understood that she has food in her cupboards. It's not her fault if they don't understand that you can't actually live off the food she buys in her £18 food shops. You should have known that it's just supplemental. Right?

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

They absolutely could cancel her contract right now but I suspect they’ll go with publishing this book. I‘m sure there are some authors that could be quietly gently dropped but JM isn’t one of them.

Her publishers are owned by Pan MacMillan but they are a tiny imprint - staff of 12. So they may have decided to go with it on the balance of risk/reward. And if they haven’t been speaking to their legal team, I’d be really surprised.

Incidentally Carole, the head of the team, is the person who sent Jack the blanket which she didn’t acknowledge receipt of until Carole asked if she’d received it on Twitter.

Makes you think.

 

[Hollaaa]

Maybe she’s genuinely poisoned herself this time. I hope we don’t get another crap-a-thon live from the shitter.

What's worse though?
this post for live tweeting the toilet, for live tweeting the shagging.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Elastoblast]

Hannibal Lector called….he wants his “OWN NICHE GENRE” back.

View attachment 1543380

Just reminded me it's time to book a smear test

 

[NeoCortex]

Did any of that come from her £20 shop?

 

[hooplifehero]

I've got nothing to add to the conversation, I found this picture the other night, and it's a rare occasion of Jack looking quite nice.

She does, to be fair. Sometimes she looks a bit like a cleaner, tidier Amy Winehouse (a strange comparison I know)... she suits a slightly rockabilly chick style I think and her natural face is quirkily pretty. Unfortunately in my opinion she spoils that by overdoing the aesthetics and the facetuning and simply by being an unpleasant person whom it would be very difficult to find attractive.

Her make-up and hair are nice there. I feel bad criticising anyone's looks but really if Jack was a decent person, I wouldn't find fault in her appearance.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Spoiler: Something else has set

That’s right the boiled soap shower gel.

I badly wanted it to turn back into soap but sadly it’s actually worked…

Still false economy, SHAN’T do it again.

You're having such a shitty week, can you at least use it to make a lasagne?