Jack Monroe #382 Any thicker she’d set (unlike her white sauce)

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

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This is got to be fake..right?!

Three days later, squigg is tweeting from hospital after they tripped over the dog in the stygian gloom.

 

[EllaEm87]

Think there is confusion between cancelling and getting refunds. Cancelling- easy. Refunds- impossible. Squiggs @Ing her want refunds, not cancellations I think.

 

[NeoCortex]

"Tonight, on Can't cook, Shan't cook...Ainsley, I, Jack Monroe self professed saviour of the poor will be cooking...

Peaceful oat goblins, with ready brek and a light vinaigrette. Topped off with mushed avocado and capers.

For the main- Authentic Greek pizza, with a base made out of flour and blended, mushed, spaghetti hoops. Sauce made from tabasco and ground tobacco. And the topping being half a tub of lard mixed with powdered cheese and pickled herring.

For dessert I present to you...Warm ice cream, defrosted, refrozen and then heated in the mee crow wah vey, with prunes and foccacia bread. And a sprig of parsley."

 

[Beansbeans]

I used to really want to work in publishing. Weird sliced anuses on soggy avocado toast has made me very relieved I picked a different path.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I thought she was talking about relationships in general and had forgotten about the burger man because he doesn't actually exist. No?

 

[moldwarp]

So squiggs are still getting abuse and Karl replying also
I’m unsure if he has accepted Jack’s View attachment 1543621

HAHAHAHA oh my goddess how entitled do you have to be to harass a total stranger by text demanding that they “Adress (sic) their transphobia” or block you? The mix of malicious aggression and petty childishness is mind blowing. It must be like being texted by a 9 year old psychopath

 

[jenny2603]

I know this is old but it's haunting me. It's one of those Jack ones I put under alien pretending to be human. Also is it not fairly standard to be offered a fee to do a talk- even ones that Jack has made up in her head, is there a big NO FEES EVERRRRRR!!! campaign out there? I realise this barely registers in the Jack league of weirdness and the whole thread becomes even odder but it's just such a peculiar thing to make up.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

So this is the guy she told to ‘touch grass’ and apologised to in a DM. He’s replying to some DM abuse another poster got. I don’t think he’s a fan anymore, obviously it’s not all sorted between them now.

 

[HalcyonDays]

For anyone struggling right now, for whatever reason...love is the strongest force in the world. I truly believe that. Not sure where this will land because have spent the day with my very elderly parents, and had no intention of touching my phone the whole time. Just guessing that there's probably been more chaos (ING) going on if the last two weeks (2909 years?) have been anything to go on.

 

[Sparemethebollocks]

Hannibal Lector called….he wants his “OWN NICHE GENRE” back.

 

[ContentCrunch]

Spoiler: Vegan-ish rabbit

My rabbit eats cat biscuits at any opportunity. I keep telling him he is supposed to be vegan but he just sticks his middle finger up at me and tells me to FUCK OFF.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

That poor child has lost his bedroom again. She is such a terrible parent

 

[jenny2603]

That's Ryan Riley, isn't it? Jack wanted to start up a food truck with him. They said they'd hit the road for six weeks, 'feeding people absolute joy' wtf lol

Last seen getting excited at Jack's loss of taste from Covid not Long Covid.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

The sort of person who has #bekind on their profile

I was given a "be kind" water bottle for my birthday. I feel rather awkward using it in public

 

[jenny2603]

I used to really want to work in publishing. Weird sliced anuses on soggy avocado toast has made me very relieved I picked a different path.

It was always something I thought must be really glamorous and of course that side exists but today a team of our fellow humans had to visit Jack in her lair, drink politely from dirty water cups and eat that horror slop as part of their job. They don't put that up on the careers sites.

 

[Justwantingbothsides]

Hello everyone, been away as I was kind of shell shocked at what shenanigans Ms Monroe has been up to.

Licking my wounds as yet another “Influencer/helper/struggling mum” has been exposed as fake.

I really don’t like the taste it leaves. I take people for who they are, perhaps I am just a hugemungous gullible gertie

 

[jenny2603]

Why were they there I wonder

Probably indulging her on some level. They seem to treat her like the company pet. She's probably got pictures of them having sex with farm animals or something.

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

I’d like to just thank Jack for putting their phone down for a few hours to let us all catch up. Although more likely the publisher confiscated them from her. Thank you for your service to the canal.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

I hope she gets more Patreons because her other sources of income will be drying up. Patreon's income puts her under much more pressure, especially as the recession and winter bills start to bite. She has to walk a higher tightrope with the thousands of random cult members who subsidise her. It's easy for them to turn on her and because of this it is an income stream with an enormous price to pay. She doesn't have to answer to anyone with regard to paid writing, but it's this which boosts her credibility with a certain group of people. Patreon will eventually go kaput without the validation of mainstream media.

 

[jenny2603]

On a mega-grunk so apols if another mithering ninnie has said this but why does she have thinly-sliced arseholes on her ‘food’?

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I think the arseholes are the elderly radishes. I don't know why she is like this.