Jack Monroe #344 344%

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Into_the_tunnel

NellieBoo said:
I'm so thankful right now that I'm getting old and have memories to replace all the school learning shite. It's ~literally~ all fallen out of my head! I just remember the best bits!
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Come on! Are you telling me knowing that electrons were in the 2.8.8 configuration* hasn’t helped you enormously?

*it’s all lies.
 
Reactions: 27

Onestorytoomany

The Sphinx’.

In a dim corner of my room for longer than
my fancy thinks
A beautiful and silent Sphinx has watched me
through the shifting gloom.

Inviolate and immobile she does not rise she
does not stir
For silver moons are naught to her and naught
to her the suns that reel.

Red follows grey across the air, the waves of
moonlight ebb and flow
But with the Dawn she does not go and in the
night-time she is there

She has not done in my opinion a fantastic poet. Mr Oscar wilde.

The last line does make me think of certain smol pixies.
 
Reactions: 23

Raker

LJC on a bike Poetry Jack is the worst Jack (in terms of boringness, not triggering awfulness)

is she Yeats-ing it right up to distract from this:


But what does it mean? Where does this leave her? Will we ever know about her 2020 tax situation? Will she still have to pay???

I SIMPLY MUST KNOW!
 
Reactions: 45

Boogs

The IQ talk reminds me of when my narc Mum said to me ‘I always thought that you were the most intelligent person in the family (as the family scapegoat this was extremely shocking news) until I met latest boyfriend and his IQ is 200’ What narcs lack in intellect they make up for in ignorance isn’t that right Jack?
 
Reactions: 37

Valiofthedolls

Maybe Ballet Jack will delight us by joining forces with Poetry Jack and portraying some of her misquoted poems via the medium of interpretive dance. Sleeve tattoos and all.




(I just wanted an excuse to post this picture again, because, well, you know why. The absolute tool. )
 
Reactions: 86

Boogs

She looks like she’s about to go and eviscerate a sacrificial goat in this photo.
 
Reactions: 41

Rekyavikgirl


She's not heard of Michael Clark's dance company then
 
Reactions: 24

MistyWindows

Onestorytoomany said:
She sounds like a real laugh down the pub, I used to work in an old man's bar and I have heard many a ballad and tune on the spoons and I'd rather that any day that her terrible terrible poetry reading.
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Babe same. Where I worked there was an ‘artsie’ crowd and there used to be this guy that turned up to sing sea shanties every single week at the open mic (no instruments).
Would listen to that over Jack’s rantings anytime.
 
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NellieBoo

Ah. Bless her and her non ouchy shoulders.
 
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FunnyFuneral

Ooh yes me, I love this show so much! I do see her more as Evie Russell, the emotional vampire that Colin dates, but Colin the energy vampire works too as she is such a drain . Also she now clearly has a hell hound . Highly recommend this show to all fraus very funny,
 
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Captainmouse

Speaking of which, wonder how her tomatoes etc are doing, wonder how many keeled over in the recent hot spell?
 
Reactions: 20

Valiofthedolls

Boogs said:
She looks like she’s about to go and eviscerate a sacrificial goat in this photo.
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It does have a touch of the “Rose West’s lost her glasses” about it, now you mention it.

ETA So in March 2015 she was having strong feelings about ballet which couldn’t be ignored, and by July 2022 she was having strong feelings about a cheese, pickle and crisp doorstep sandwich in bed that couldn’t be ignored. Hardly what you’d call progress, is it?
 
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L

L3moning

Into_the_tunnel said:
Come on! Are you telling me knowing that electrons were in the 2.8.8 configuration* hasn’t helped you enormously?

*it’s all lies.
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Not sure what Argon has to do with this!

(I have an A-Level in Chemistry, but still looked that up to make sure I wasn't making an idiot of myself!)
 
Reactions: 20

Mrs Peel

Really hoping she doesn't discover Ulysses, because:

1) She'll claim she read the entire thing in a weekend and is now an expert on all things Joyce.
2) She'll think she's a modern day Molly Bloom, and I dread to imagine her tweets if she takes on that persona.
 
Reactions: 28

Elastoblast

I'll never not think of the late great Mr Mercury when I see this. He even sang an ode to the Mediterranean arsed pixie. Fat bottomed girls...
 
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People-huv-tae-know

I'm not a poetry frau but here goes.

I once read of a farce
About a Mediterranean arse
It fell under a choo choo train
And became a constant refrain
Amongst a canal of fraus
Who triangulated Jack's Haus
Which smells of slop and poo
But Iqbal he sighs and says phew
This shitter is no longer my tenant
She howls and claws like a genet
She grifts and lies like a peeky mink
She exudes a lingering honk and stink
Which gives us all the absolute boak
But Jack cackles and snorts more coke
Enough to put Henry and David to shame
However the poor canal gets all the blame
In the Diva PDF and titmas day anticlimax
Which is really an ego piece all about Cacks!
 
Reactions: 34
L

L3moning

Given that Larkin got mentioned by Jack at some point, I'm surprised we've not had a They fuck you up, your mum and dad mention yet.

Or, as someone I know recently tweeted, after mentioning Larkin, "They read your tweets, your mum and dad"
 
Reactions: 39

Boogs

I don’t scare easily but she looks terrifying there. I could still take her because I’m well hard but I’d rather not get close enough to touch her thanks
 
Reactions: 29
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