Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing

[Wooh]

The website

LOLOLLLLLLLL

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

You could well be right. The original claim of 7 GCSEs appeared in Xanthe Clay's 2013 piece: https://web.archive.org/web/2013030...773/My-49p-lunch-with-a-girl-called-Jack.html Although admittedly not a direct quote.

In Potatoes, one of her lengthy asides aimed at Tattle claimed:

View attachment 1436873

TBH I can see that this is the kind of lie that would spiral. Initially she said she had 7 GCSEs, which is unremarkable, but back in 2013, she was presenting herself as a middle class woman fallen on hard times. Later, when she was claiming to be from a lifelong working class background, the number of GCSEs dropped...

Clearly the school's decision was the right one, seeing as seven were too much for her.

i don't know whether her mother has a degree though.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Considering everything that she tweets or says is a lie or half truth, is there any proof there that she did only attain 4.5 GCSE's?

Unless there's proof, I would err on the side of this is just yet another story for her to seem like this poor girl who turned out alright despite the lack of GCSE's. Look at how many time she trots out the story about it, I can't even remember how many A-C's I got but it was enough to get me into college. Fits into the whole holding a grudge narrative though.

Good point. Although we know she’s a terrible liar. I feel that if she did lie about the 4.5 GCSEs she would have slipped up at some point. Like a tattler would find an Insta post from 2015 where she claims to have taken the most GCSEs out of all the kids in Southend. Didn’t she once claim she was in the top 12 in the country of 11+ grades or something insane and unprovable like that?

I seem to remember in the oldest Jack blog she talked about ‘not using my degree’ when working in a coffee shop. In the days before the honourary degree. In conclusion, who the firk knows.

 

[Pavlova]

Are you only doing biscuits that look like cultures for random stages of venereal diseases?

Ah don't Tipp, I've spat my coffee out laughing....

 

[Switchstreetz]

Regarding Carole T and her "Must stay" comment about the acknowledgements/fuckyous.

If she is indeed her therapist as well as her publisher, this is completely out of order. A therapist isn't supposed to give advice or tell you what to do, and they sure as hell should not be doing it on a public forum like twitter.

*Still hoping she's also the sloppy accountant.

Grunking, but has anyone else spotted that Carole also... has hands?!

(Joking! She doesn't have time to be Jack's assistant she's been inundated with work, building the James Webb telescope)

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

She claims the dog is named after Laurie Penny, which is hilarious if I'm wrong and the SB truthers are right:

"What do you want to call her, pal?"

"Gosh, Mamapapa, let's name her after that nice lady on Twitter who defaced a war memorial, then Katie Hopkins mistook you for her, and that led to your landmark libel trial and after that we bought the sofa!"



Maybe Big Dave just liked reading old Beano annuals?

That's it! Laurie might be for Lozza and Laurie Penny. If it wasn't for Laurie Penny, KH would never have libelled Jack. Lozza and Lee are the sequel. The KH libel case gave Jack a hero status, more fame, attention and a notorious sofa. So she is probably very grateful to Laurie Penny

 

[Mr Krabs]

I think the same!


Kids in grammar schools aren't gifted, not like child prodigies, nope. Just more academic and nerdier. She only sat 7 GCSE's too, that's shockingly low for a grammar, so she can't have been that 'gifted'. (15 subjects was the standard at mine.)

I always wondered how she ended up with 4 GCSEs. Oh sorry, 4.5. If she’d turned up for half of the classes, even with no revision she probably could have scraped a few E grades which still counts. Her parents don’t seem like the kind to ignore warnings from the school about missed coursework. Her school seems like the type that loves to crow about it’s GCSE results so I doubt they’d want her to leave without at least five.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Ummm. Posted last night. Is the countertop toaster oven gas? Is her #notworking #oventruther oven gas? The mystery rumbles on…

Edit- you don’t ping it in the microwave. You pop it in the microwave and it pings when it is done. Ffs.

View attachment 1436445

Don't think it is, but I am still an #oventrutherforever.

 

[Lazarus]

Glaswegian fraus, can we blame Jack's visit and influence for the Chip going full metal chain, in restaurant parlance?
For the non-locals, a well-established fancy West End restaurant in Glasgow which is one of three differently-named/themed hostelries owned by a local family (microchain?) has been bought by a national pub macrochain.

Oh my god; it took the wind from my sails when I found out the Chip also owned the Bike Shop. To find out they were being taken over by Greene King of all boring AF chains?
Utterly unbelievable.

 

[Captainmouse]

She broke a tooth eating kale? Christ her teeth must be I a worse state than we thought.

She’s spent so long in the slop they can’t cope with proper food, I.e. texture

 

[Captainmouse]

Vinegar and tomatoes? Maybe it's because I was raised Italian but I was always told to put some sugar in for every tin of tomatoes to cancel out the acidity. I can feel the enamel coming off my teeth just reading the recipe. Oh maybe this is the origin of her teeth woes?

The Dr did tell her to stop eating them

 

[Captainmouse]

Maybe she made it in an old bathtub in her shed by soaking old Pumble remains (has she even got a shed) my imagination is running wild here....think I'd better get to bed and stop tunnelling down a Jack rabbit hole

She has many out buildings

 

[Captainmouse]

To go back to something at the end of the previous thread, can any knowledable fraus please explain what does the On a Bootstrap company being struck off mean in real terms for Jack? Are there consequences or can she shrug it off?

Depends whether papers, tv etc are happy to pay a sole trader, or insist on Ltd only. In IT you cannot operate as a sole trader. nobody will employ you on that basis.

 

[Captainmouse]

Gifted and talented is no match for goals and hard work. Doesn't matter either from where you obtain your qualifications, but how you use them.

Jack, your regular reminder that being employed is fine

Not in the world of thumberlina peapod, she considers it beneath her, and her sense of entitlement

 

[Orphan_Black]

I’m in Kent which is fully selective, grammars take approximately the top 25% of academic achievers so while obviously not everyone goes to one they’re not particularly exclusive and filled with prodigies.

Exactly. Mine was selective, and there was mix of all types of kids, from all types of backgrounds. Mostly working class as that was the majority in my area. And not every kid went on to do uni or white-collar jobs.

She acts like she's billy big balls to get into one, but a frau pointed out she didn't start until year 9, so again, not that gifted. Too much emphasis is put on IQ, the tests are a crock of shit.

I always wondered how she ended up with 4 GCSEs. Oh sorry, 4.5. If she’d turned up for half of the classes, even with no revision she probably could have scraped a few E grades which still counts. Her parents don’t seem like the kind to ignore warnings from the school about missed coursework. Her school seems like the type that loves to crow about it’s GCSE results so I doubt they’d want her to leave without at least five.

My school would have blown a gasket. They were all about the 100% pass rate, it was in the 90s per cent in my day. A lot of pressure, but a lot of support too. Only seven makes me think she just sat the basic subjects, no options etc.

Just my imo, but I think she failed the 11+ and then her parents got a tutor to ensure she got in later. The tutored kids were the ones that struggled in my experience, and I think that's why Jack bombed so hard at school.

 

[Elastoblast]

Will I ever learn not to click links about Jack involving anything. But particularly, TV, radio, poetry, piano playing or singing.

I managed to resist the temptation to click on that link but it's only after repeatedly clicking, cringing and regretting in the past

 

[Mrs Peel]

Depends whether papers, tv etc are happy to pay a sole trader, or insist on Ltd only. In IT you cannot operate as a sole trader. nobody will employ you on that basis.

I mentioned in the previous thread that it's possible she was both the director of the company that was struck off and a sole trader. The company may have been set up but never actually used to report income. That might explain why she never bothered to keep the information up to date.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I'm a chicken wing loving ninny and she's managed to make chicken wings sound disgusting. That's it, I'm done.

They sound horrid tbf.

Why does she hate food?

 

[NomDeGuerre]

Good grief. Calm down, Jackfan. Hyperbole is very 2019
View attachment 1436524

Bottom of the barrel, more like.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Hang on, this doesn’t make any sense
6) High school? She went to a grammar school for secondary, no one calls grammar schools high schools because they’re not.
7) Is there any such thing as a school for the gifted and talented? Arguably that’s what a grammar school is.

I believe I can help you with these last two, pal/bub. This is American Jack. She from the land of high schools, gifted and talented programs and lazy google searches that “inform” her humblebrags.

She still fucked it up though, because they’re gifted and talented programs, and for the most part not separate gifted and talented schools the lying fuckwit.

https://www.usnews.com/education/k12/articles/gifted-and-talented-programs-what-parents-should-know?context=amp

Note: not a badge of honor, not a reason for boasting. IE STFU Jack.