Jack Monroe #340 Not a professional account

[Lazarus]

Well things are moving slowly

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please could you explain this image to me? Did someone post this, or are you finally deciding to call it a day on your subscription?

 

[MrsFawlty]

You did warn us, to be fair! Put it down to being delirious today after all the heat and having had work done on the house I've been confined to my one room. But I had wifi, so all was not lost. Which is why I started reading Tattle, then signed up and I've been introduced to a world of pumbles, slop, grunking and smol pixie antics. It has been joyous.
(Also discovered this is very civilised thread, some of the others are ).

That should say forum, not thread! Not very good with the technical terms on t'internet.

 

[Boogs]

Yours does that for me

It made me laugh but I’ve changed to the severely deformed legs and facetuned sky instead.

 

[FrumpyCat]

I'd always assumed that Russ In Chesire was some kind of parody account, akin to RS Archer.

That was my first thought, and I don't even listen to the Archers anymore..

 

[Captainmouse]

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Choochoo list! List!

 

[Cookiecookie]

Bisexual? Fucking Bionic! She heals well.

ETA.. Honestly, how many days ago did she say she was thinking of getting tatts?

She posted on the 13th she'd booked one

 

[Elastoblast]

Maybe she's watched the Lazarus Project on Sky and thinks she can time travel back to January and give evidence? Oh no wait she barely has a working tv

 

[Prognosis Negative]

Will it fit in an irksome gap on her arms though ?

Nah, full back piece definitely.

 

[Boogs]

I rudely forgot to thank the creator of my new avatar. I shamelessly stole it to replace my double dip image which was far too face tuned to countenance!

Your previous one used to freak me out every time I looked at it

 

[Missmopps]

Not a huge shocker to those who were following her when Grenfell happened. On that one she claimed she had been looking at the building plans the evening before it happened!

WTF? are there receipts for this absolutely ghoulish fuckery?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Oh. Ok. I see it now. Thank you Marm <curtsy>. I thought this was my aneurysm.

 

[Vanelope]

Ah. I love a delicious insult from formidable women like 'Ah. They mean well'. See also 'Oh. You look well' (you have put on weight and are FAT'). My personal favourite, which I use now 'You've delighted me enough' said with a beaming smile .

aw Mr Bennett’s fave also

and the evergreen ‘that’s brave of you’

 

[Captainmouse]

I totally missed her dating a bloke, btw.

So much for one of Britain’s Top Lesbians*, eh?

*not in the slightest bit anti-bi - but I thought she was firmly lesbian?

She's firmly with the wind direction, vegan, trans, pescatarian, gay, etc etc

 

[Ostapbender]

Hot off the press: I just showed my husband her tattoo. He is an actual tattooist and no longer an apprentice. He screwed his nose up and said it’s shit, average at best and why has she got A17 written on there upside down.

Actual 17 year old?

 

[For the truth]

Vlad on the money here in relation to Jack baking efforts. Sure Scottish fraus mentioned the F(ud) word previously.

 

[NellieBoo]

It’s OK, NellieB. He’s THE Cookie Monster, she’s a fucking cookie monstrosity.

Thank you. I don't like to think that Jack has made THE Cookie Monster sad.

 

[MsGilmore]

You think she will walk the dog?

No, but I wonder why the squigs don’t question that!

 

[Mrs Peel]

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No. No they aren't, you twerp.

 

[NellieBoo]

I feel ill at the thought of that - that's just wasting food. Could she not do porridge with apple with bacon sarnie on the side if she was hungry? She's an odd one <<<<< this is being polite....

She saves the bread to grate along with spam to make, err, something.

 

[TankGirl]

It also stated that she was a pocket rocket. Being a woman of the world, it is my understanding that this is in fact a pocket rocket.

Spoiler: Pocket Rocket

Unlike an actual pocket rocket, however, slopzilla is neither powerful, quiet, nor compact. She is, however, a fucking tool. I’ll give her that.
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Just spat my tea out all over the dog. Egging hilarious Frau - Shap Po my Frau