Jack Monroe #340 Not a professional account

[Clovis]

Jack's ex-OHs (according to Jack who as we all know is medically incapable of lying):

Have a lovely afternoon, pal.

 

[colouredlines]

I'm starting to wonder if some of the squigs who constantly praise her every move are actually doing it because they feel sorry for her.

It's almost like a small child showing you their attempt at a drawing - you know it's a bit crap, but you tell them it's wonderful, because you don't want them to burst into tears and have a total meltdown.

Either that or they are completely deluded.

This is a big part of Jack's career. Go all the way back to her first Guardian recipes and a lot of the comments are essentially, Her food is shit but she tries so hard.

You see it whenever her name pops up on Mumsnet, Reddit etc - this idea that she is well-meaning but deeply troubled, mentally ill, fragile etc and needs to be handled with kid gloves.

I think a lot of her fans like the idea of Jack Monroe, and what they think she stands for, so much that they don't look too closely at the reality.

 

[hiyaaaacath]

@Russian Doll and @hiyaaaacath welcome, please get comfortable and tell us what brought you here.
were you previously fans/admirers of Jack, and if so, what was the switch that made you suspicious?
It’s lovely for you both to be commenting. Hope to hear from you soon.

Hi there!!!!

I was already on tattle following a thread about someone else and then a real life friend of mine (and tattler) told me about Jack lying about reading Eastern European cookbooks/being an Eastern European culture/cookery super fan and ultimately recommending some book about Georgian USA cooking. Excuse me while I piss myself all over again.

 

[Fruitjack]

I see rear foo foo man (he has 257k followers, will I start a thread?) raised 20k for his go fund me before closing it, for being sued by a Tory MP, for something he hasn’t denied doing. It makes me wonder how much Jack, who has double the followers, got when she asked people to PayPal her to sue a notoriously awful MP. I’m guessing it won’t be far off that total, though of course as it was all totally hidden in PayPal we’ll never know. At least Mr ‘Give it some minge’ was transparent.

 

[Amanda Lin]

“ I be a pixie
I be wee ,
I’ll give you three guesses to name me”

Slop queen?

“NO “

Many tattooed lesbian?

“NO”

Pumblestiltskin?

“Ahhh how did you know???”

* I blame the heat, I’m delirious”

 

[Boyo]

My data is probably out of date (I love facts). But women in the north east are the smallest in the country, the average was 5ft 2 or something.
I have friends under 5ft. You are not that small Jack.

Sorry Lumpy but ~she~ is the smollest smol pixie that ever smolled. If you can’t see that, pal, that’s on you. Have a great day!

 

[hiyaaaacath]

literally thinks she's the fourth emergency service?

Thread title vote Jack Monroe: 4th emergency service.

 

[kachoochoo]

she's had her nails done too. certainly stretching the £34

 

[Spanner]

What pisses me off more than anything is that what she is meant to provide for subscribers isn’t anything that takes real time and talent. It’s not like she is doing a podcast that she needs to research. She just needs to get off her arse and send some stuff. She just can’t be bothered and treats the people who support her with such contempt.

I’ve been thinking about this. I have quite a few patreon Subscriptions, mostly to podcasts to get extra content. I recently realised that one was producing content I hadn’t bothered listening to as I wasn’t really interested in the subject matter, so I cancelled. If they’d never produced any content, I wouldn’t have realised & id still be paying them (I realise I’m privileged to have this money to waste*) So she’s being sneaky staying under the radar & not drawing attention to her lack of work, just not addressing it at all

* weirdly almost exactly the same back ground as Jack! Dad a firefighter (although just a station officer unlike big Dave), mum a health visitor and I went to grammar school. Grandfather wasn’t a Tory land baron though, and all my grandparents lived in council houses. I don’t claim to be working class because I’m not

 

[NomDeGuerre]

Jack has already done one!

Jack shitting herself when she thinks she’s accidentally implied she smokes weed. Edgy as a chocolate orange, as ever.

 

[purpleindigo]

I can remember Jack asking if anyone had photos of her in uniform as some mithering ninnies were questioning her claims

I worked in a police control room when I was at uni (in 2001 in uniform traazers and everything). The idea of pretending I had any knowledge of anything police related as a result is mortifying.

 

[Ostapbender]

How Jack sees her role in world events:

Jack's actual role in world events:

 

[Boyo]

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New tattoo and now braids. Christ, £34 goes a lot further in Saarfend than Wales.

 

[HotesTilaire]

i dont think you should keep schtum, HTRIA, you've been so good in giving us the detail on the Patreon income. Not everyone on this forum agrees with everything that's said, but that's no reason not to contribute.

On your comment re: signing up in bad faith - i think i disagree. Whether i signed up in good faith, bad faith or no faith, Jack has created tiers with offers attached to each one. Regardless of the subscribers faith, Jack hasn't kept up her end of the bargain and i dont think she could weedle out of it by saying the person was out to get her.
What about the Welsh bees lady? She was blocked and others were too. They weren't out to get her, they were asking for services which they'd paid for and which were not honoured.
I've gone a long way round for a short cut, here. My point is, the only person acting in bad faith here is Jack Monroe.

I do feel we can all have differing points of view on this as long as we stay respectful of each other.

I don’t mind that someone signed up to Jack’s patron in bad faith. If someone signed up in bad faith to an actual creator to undermine their products, benefits and generally cause mayhem or take the piss, that would cross a line for me. To sign up to get proof she produces naff all every month is fair doos to me.

 

[Mr Krabs]

She posted on Twitter the other day that her ex didn’t like that she dressed like a lesbian and something about 20 years of glorious technicolour homosexuality. Except for all those times you were chasing cock hey Jack you big gay?

Apparently bisexuality is not in glorious technicolour (or likely won’t get her enough Twitter points or see her invited to awards with Riley and crew).

“Find what you love and let it kill you” is an awful slogan for an alcoholic. I know I shouldn’t have laughed at that but it’s amazingly bad.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Firefighting Experts of the Canal reporting for duty. Looking mighty spiffy in those outfits too, if I do say so myself.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Can you imagine her visiting the sites of some of the terrible flooding over the last few years? No, me neither because it's up north and not as much of a "cause" as Grenfell was.

Has she visited or worked with anyone who was affected by the cladding debacle since? Has she done anything other than retweet an anniversary post?

She does nothing in terms of campaigning. For anything. At all. She deserves to have those flags taken off her little fucking bio. They mean Jack (sorry) shit. Philip is more visible than her and I hate him.

Tumbleweed yesterday regarding the cost of living payments. Same over the energy companies being called out over dd. She says she cares but really she DGAS.

At least it is raining.

 

[Django]

Not a huge shocker to those who were following her when Grenfell happened. On that one she claimed she had been looking at the building plans the evening before it happened!

The article is here for anyone who missed it. Quite why Jack thought she would have been let through the police cordon is

We need to talk about Grenfell, and the corporate manslaughter of the poor.

I wrote this from the top of the church I volunteered in, inside the Police cordon at Grenfell, yesterday afternoon. I served as a Fire Control Operator for Essex Fire and Rescue Service from 2007 …

web.archive.org

 

[kachoochoo]

I can kinda see it, but I would never try to use it

imagine the texts she must get on the public number:

"yo, jack. I'm a political prisoner. I'm handcuffed to this radiator. how do I make pumble out of a slop bucket and leaky radiator water?"

"hiya top princess did you film the opening of my completely non-creepy gift yet? I wuv oo "

"chapeau jack just needed to say you won the internet today mlady when you called bojo a cockwomble"

"jack, it's nige. good j1g isn't it? I'll big you up again soon. promise. x"

"jack, can I replace rinsed hoops with orricchiete? it's all we've got in I'm afraid"

 

[Boogs]

Who is her appreciative audience? Does she have all the chairs out in her garden having a teddy bears tea party?