Jack Monroe #340 Not a professional account

[traumatised sideboard]

I don't think she bought these ones, I can fully believe she made them herself. The absolute state of them I could even believe Content made them.

 

[Veronicaaa]

What pisses me off more than anything is that what she is meant to provide for subscribers isn’t anything that takes real time and talent. It’s not like she is doing a podcast that she needs to research. She just needs to get off her arse and send some stuff. She just can’t be bothered and treats the people who support her with such contempt.

Even her Patreon is such a stupid, pre-digital concept, though. In this day and age, why would someone send out things via the post? She could do a basic monthly newsletter with recipes, it wouldn't take long and costs nothing to produce. Or she could in fact do a podcast, it's not like she'd consider researching it and she loves the sound of her own voice, for some reason.

 

[Mrs Peel]

I might be in the minority, but I think a sobriety tattoo is a ridiculous idea for someone who seems to be constantly teetering on the edge of the wagon.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I decided to add the vintage train slip to the series of Jack Fell Over photos.

Jack fell under a train:

Spoiler: Jack fell down the spiral staircase:

Spoiler: Jack fell on the beach:

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Heheheh the tattoo is exactly as shit as I'd hoped. They must have had a little jig together judging by that linework. I also find the best thing to do with a fresh tattoo is to take off the clingfilm and stick it straight in a manky old tree during the hottest point of the day.

 

[DaisyJay]

I was up early today so went looking for soothsayer Jack's evidence to parliament that she predicted wheat crisis in January 2022. Her evidence session actually took place in March 2022 so after the war began. Obviously I thought soothsayer Jack wouldn't have got this wrong so checked her written evidence submission but found to my astonishment she hadn't submitted any written evidence. At risk of I have submitted lots of evidence to select committees as it's a very useful way of getting granular complexity of an issue into a committees thinking. I would have thought Jack would have plenty of evidence (albeit in lever arch files) to submit as written evidence.

whilst I'm here I may as well throw in my thoughts on the evidence session. Jack made some good points but didn't have the depth of knowledge (imo) or the data to hand when compared to the other two witnesses in her session. She also stated a benefit (discretionary housing payments) had been withdrawn and should be reinstated - they weren't withdrawn but reduced and the Chair of Committee came back to her on that. It is a shame that she was mistaken or over exaggerated as a data informed statement about % of reduction would have been more powerful than her over egged pudding.

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

The article is here for anyone who missed it. Quite why Jack thought she would have been let through the police cordon is

We need to talk about Grenfell, and the corporate manslaughter of the poor.

I wrote this from the top of the church I volunteered in, inside the Police cordon at Grenfell, yesterday afternoon. I served as a Fire Control Operator for Essex Fire and Rescue Service from 2007 …

web.archive.org

Everything about this is so ghoulish, but I'm also so perplexed by this paragraph.

My Dad was head of Fire Investigation for eight years at Essex Fire and Rescue Service. A firefighter for thirty. I called him on Wednesday morning, building plans in my hand, to howl about the rapid even spread of fire, to ask about building regulations, to clarify in my rusty memory the firefighting procedures for a high rise building. I called a scientist, an architect, several firefighters, and a lawyer. Between us all we hold decades of service, encyclopaedias of chemical information, forensic knowledge of building structures and escape routes. And the hideous footage of the cladding well alight, the collapse of the windows, and the grim knowledge that the top floors are too structurally insecure to access to search.

If she actually did contact all these people... for what purpose? She was (supposedly) there to pair shoes. Why would she need to speak to those people?

 

[Cantthinkofausername]

Ah I was just playing dear heart Poca. I am indifferent towards the walrus.

Did we get this yesterday? In response to her taking the piss out of Rishi's pythag stance and height. She's up and liking things btw, was also still up and liking things around 2am as well.

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Being short herself doesn't entitle her to mock other short people. In any case, being short is more of an issue for (some) men than it is for women.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Tonight Matthew I'm going to be a performative wanker.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Oh hun

 

[moldwarp]

The video with Toff, from 05:52 onwards, Jack details her tale of woe and Todd couldn’t be less interested.

Jack: “Freezing, hungry, tried to top my self”
Toff: “yeh…”

I think Jacks probably used to a very different reaction to that rehearsed speech.

Side note: I grew up in extreme (relatively) poverty and we often had no electricity / had no hot water / no bus fair to get to school / food. This was pre food banks. I’m not being unsympathetic there’s just something so rehearsed about the way Jack tells this. Performative. Makes my skin crawl

People who’ve experienced poverty know instinctively she’s lying.

People who’ve never been anywhere near poverty assume she’s telling the truth.

Jack exploits the second group for money and fame. She does nothing to help the first group.

Spoiler: Wholemeal merail

my grandmother made all her baked goods with wholemeal flour because she had a digestive condition. They were all delicious, possibly because she compensated with a great deal of brown sugar. I will say that I much prefer wholemeal pasta, bread and scones to the white versions. They’re just tastier to me, and I don’t feel like falling asleep after eating them

 

[MancBee]

She’s so far away from the ‘foodie’ platform that launched her career now it’s laughable.

What is her profile now? Rent-a-gob? Is she simply famous for not being famous, like the Lady Victoria Hervey of Slop?

Jack's not so much a socialite, more a parasite.

 

[MancBee]

Toff’s reaction was probably authentic, she didn’t realise she was supposed to performatively virtue-signal her sympathy at Jack’s recital of The Poverty.

I think I would probably just make mono-syllabic polite noises hearing Jack’s overblown fairytales, too.

I loved it at the end when they were discussing where they were on the political spectrum. Jack said she was centre left (so much for being a lefty lezza) and Toff said she was centre right.

Jack then said "if we were to go on another date" and before she could say any more Toff jumped in with "NO"

 

[Shimmering]

Sorry I'm a few threads behind and trying to catch up, but whoever said she's pivoting to making addiction her main personality to cover the poverty lies tale has hit the nail on the head. She's all about addiction now and it's frankly a genius move because it's an excuse for every lie inconsistency and failure in her life and means no-one can criticise her for being rich (which she is). Grifting is the one thing she's actually very good at.

 

[jenny2603]

That's it. That's the face of evil.

 

[DaisyJay]

Oh I forgot to add to select committee post - Jack was asked about reinstatement of value lines in supermarkets and how long they would last. Her response was 'I hope over a year at least because I'd like to have a break from holding them to account' because obvs that's the important bit

apologies for repeating any points covered live back in March and the moral of the story really is don't fact check Jack early in the morning as it does nothing good for one's heart rate

 

[SlopAmbsase]

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Braids, new tattoo, tits out… I’m getting a mid 90’s Pamela Anderson vibe and feeling like this may be with the intent of giving OH the most challenging spite wank yet.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

The Grenfell stuff is probably the grossest thing Jack has ever done, and that's saying something.

In the never ending rollercoaster that are these threads, it is easy to say “this is her new low” or “I’m off, she’s done it this time” (totes guilty of this btw ). However, inserting herself in this way, in what still is/was a catastrophic, totally preventable disaster really does show her true colours.

She travelled across the country to make this about herself. An issue which she had no experience of whatsoever. An issue which the repercussions of are being felt across the country now in horrific ways, and which, if she truly cared, she would have followed up on weekly.

We may be most liked because you are all hilarious, but we have the most number of threads after hinch because of reasons like Grenfell.

 

[Django]

Another collaboration going down like one of Jack's cakes.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Recap add-

She doesn't have rheumatoid arthritis, she now is sure it's osteo, and needs a shoulder replacement. All whilst flogging potato peelers.

This came after an afternoon with her mother who was also at home making her a bland plate of roast dinner for her brother to walk over. Yes that makes sense. Indeed.