Jack Monroe #340 Not a professional account

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Sophie/Pretzel died an awful death and Jack said that Mini was never hers


Oh poppet, you are too young. This is a riff on a song by The Kinks x

the kinks dedicated follower of fashion lyrics https://g.co/kgs/YVztFL
Thank you, the curse is lifted, my kitchen cupboards have stopped opening and shutting abruptly and the toddler’s stopped levitating x
 
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Been grunking away and had a thought about the hugely anticipated book cover - she’s so forensic about her hair that she got photographed in a long haired wig... is she gonna photoshop the latest tattoo on the cover pics?
PS the ‘7’ is obviously a representation of the smol pixie herself! It’s more a 6.8.
 
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If she isn't spayed, poor Content will first go into heat at about 6 months old. And if Jack doesn't know it, every male dog within a 10 mile radius of the shitty bungalow (with a staircase) will.
 
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Thank you, the curse is lifted, my kitchen cupboards have stopped opening and shutting abruptly and the toddler’s stopped levitating x
Happy to help, not all heroes wear capes xoxo

Someone cleverer than me should make those lyrics into a Jack song tho
 
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If I so-called mate gave me a tattoo that looked like any of the ones Jack has, we would be having words.
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She is cheaper than the 'Practice Pork' and times are hard.
 
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All the 417 reminds me of is 24601
Jack as Jean Valjean: We were starving. I stole a loaf of bread
Bishop: You poor thing, of course you couldn't help stealing from a Patreon subscriber or 700. Run along and thanks for all you do
 
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Why is she so rude? It's not cute or funny, it's just nasty.

Also. ...if you know, you know....is a phrase that makes me want to take a flying karate kick at a passing Pumble.
 
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As a child I used to watch 999, hosted by Michael Buerk (grade A plonker) so I think that means I out-chapeau all you ninnies 🦺
 
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Well things are moving slowly

View attachment 1419314
With all the thought that’s gone into the specific benefits at ever more expensive tiers for membership of her patreon, she has definitely put a lot of thought into ways in which she can maximise her profit for doing precisely fuck-all. But this in particular seems to be proof that despite not actually meeting her obligations , she is absolutely still manipulating the offer for maximum gain in real-time. So no chance at all to send what people have paid for, but plenty of time to keep up to date what else they could *apparently* be missing (“exclusive posts”) if they had the cheek to cut off that nice little earner for Twitter’s biggest twat.
 
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A frau (I feel it was @PunkyMonkey - who is emergency services or adjacent to - who told us a report from the actual emergency workers there, she was given shoes to pair up to get her out of the way) apologies if I named the wrong frau and called you by mistake, punky-M
 
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If she isn't spayed, poor Content will first go into heat at about 6 months old. And if Jack doesn't know it, every male dog within a 10 mile radius of the shitty bungalow (with a staircase) will.
Female dogs get 'periods' too in heat. Good luck with that, Jack.
 
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Super-duper tattoo, Jackie! Presume SB is getting one to match. Hope the Patreons like it.
why so blue?
Shit tattoo
Why Tattoo?
For squigs to view
And create revenue.
Hullaballoo!

I once helped a ewe get her head out of a wire fence and I regularly help baby frogs cross the road. I must be a vet.
 
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That dog is gonna be MASSIVE
Jack struggles with her own personal hygiene; imagine her house with a MASSIVE ungroomed dog with that wet dog smell, all sweaty after rolling in fox poo.
 
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