Jack Monroe #331 Safe word - pumble

Mr Krabs said:

Maybe she should put herself up for Guardian Blind Dates.

Blind Date: ‘She offered to take me to a Harvester salad bar later’.

Dave, 42, a ceramicist, went on a date with Jack, 22, a self-described lefty lezzer cook with two honourary degrees, who can bench press the queen - (sorry we can’t fit the rest of the crap she said in here - ed)

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Omg that "dining across the divide" one where they put people with opposing views together.

She'd be as meek as a brambly mouse in the date and article, then later fabricate a shin kicking.

I hope Jack knows the 'rules' for meeting someone off tinder:
- let family/someone you trust know the name of who you're meeting, send them a pic so they know what he looks like if possible, and give them the date time & location
- make sure it's somewhere very public, do not go back to someone's house on 1st date
- if possible arrange to have a friend call you at a specific time (bonus: then if the date is going awfully you can pretend something has come up and use that phone call as an excuse to leave)

I’ve caught up and I honestly don’t know what to say.
She has absolutely no sense of who she is as an individual and it seems the only way she thinks she can thrive is through adopting someone else’s persona (thinking of her sons football team as an example) or through being part of a very intense coupling. One way or the other, the behaviour today, whilst entertaining, has been so, so mind boggling. It’s hard to believe that a grown woman is acting like this on social media to half a million followers.
nobody could intervene because she is so high and so arrogant that she would simply refuse to listen. Everyone else is the problem in Jack’s eyes, not her. All I can think is that no matter how arrogant she comes across on social media, she must be 10x worse in reality. She’s gone through all those therapists, relationship breakups, court case, the lot. She is the common denominator. She cannot see the woods for the trees.
Where’s Nigella, Martin, Anna Soubry et al now?

can just see it: Twitter silence sat, Sun, Mon. Back tues PM with an anecdote about being at her OH’s family home and beating his Uncle at Trivial Pursuit.

Slightly off piste but please can someone take that poor pup off them! I am worrying about it all of the time. They are not fit to look after an animal. I just can’t bear to think about it.

usefullyuseless said:

I really think she should give up the politics and 'recipes' and embrace her true calling as a writer of bad fiction. Some amazing, ridiculous characters there.

I also would like to suggest a Best Fictional Character category for this year's Sloppies. We've had some crackers already and it's only June.

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I'm going to be pulling 100 hour weeks come November, handwriting all the nominations into my diary which I will then type up.

Honestly look at the chaos just since December, how am I gonna fit all this onto one website?! We need someone else to do a "summer sloppies" - Caroline with the hands should chip in!

TheDragonWithAFlagon said:

Lucy, do you not think it could be a possibility that all this is deliberately written to encourage exactly that scenario - that somebody who isn't giving her what she sees as enough attention rushes into an intervention/rescue?


Because if that's the case, somebody wading in would reward the behaviour by confirming that her tweets are read, that people are there to look after her, that she doesn't have to take responsibility for actually being alone rather than always having other people pick her up?


Being on your own at first can be shit. But deliberately posting provocative tweets, things suggesting serious mental illness, a form of self harm/risky behaviour/purporting to be having a breakdown in order to compel or guilt or scare people into the same old saviour roles won't enable anybody to grow accustomed to existing as a person rather than as a part of a 'whole'.

It's that thing about having to actually learn to be on your own. If somebody is constantly rewarded when they up the ante, they don't learn it. They just learn new ways to coerce/scare/manipulate others into bending to their will.

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What you and @Lucy Aeroplane said have really made me think. If this all “aimed“ at someone, I feel so sorry for them, it must be so draining. And I really hope that it’s not aimed at Louisa while she’s away over at Stanford.

On a lighter note, congratulations @Lazarus ! And wow to @Mr Krabs too! Ninnie power!

L3moning said:

Still doesn't beat the "Femi turning up to a date with an electric piano" thing, that I CBA to find on Twitter now (he has 350k followers and is a blue tick, so mentioning him should be fine).

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That was amazing.

jenny2603 said:

That was amazing.

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This must be where I’m going wrong. *Rocks up to next date with a ukulele

Tabitha D said:

Yep, and not so long ago she was thinking about letting her son do her social media admin
Can you imagine? 🫣
All this to get back at OH. She’s actually deranged.

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I have a feeling this is not just to get back at OH, but all the others too.

I'd just like to say that Jack and her mental health/lifestyle is not the responsibility of 'randoms' on the internet. It's really not. She chooses and has chosen, over many years, to post on the internet for all to see and comment on.

I think many of us here have caseloads of service users/clients that we could be worrying about RIGHT NOW. But we shouldn't be because we do the best we can, when we can. And that is all we can do.

Live footage from a typical day in the bungelow

Pavlova said:

I have a feeling this is not just to get back at OH, but all the others too.

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I agree. Anyone who has abandoned her or challenged her she will want to punish. I just hope that they can either totally ignore her or are aware enough to roll their eyes and say ‘here she goes again thank fuck I escaped’

As I glanced at the profiles of eligible men in front of me, a million questions swirled through my head. Was it too soon? Did they have a big car? Could this be a ticket to a forever home? And I realised, while I wasn’t completely over Harold, I had to put myself out there again. It was time to bake a cake for someone new.

I couldn’t help but wonder… was the best way to get over someone, to get under someone else?

TheDragonWithAFlagon said:

Lucy, do you not think it could be a possibility that all this is deliberately written to encourage exactly that scenario - that somebody who isn't giving her what she sees as enough attention rushes into an intervention/rescue?


Because if that's the case, somebody wading in would reward the behaviour by confirming that her tweets are read, that people are there to look after her, that she doesn't have to take responsibility for actually being alone rather than always having other people pick her up?


Being on your own at first can be shit. But deliberately posting provocative tweets, things suggesting serious mental illness, a form of self harm/risky behaviour/purporting to be having a breakdown in order to compel or guilt or scare people into the same old saviour roles won't enable anybody to grow accustomed to existing as a person rather than as a part of a 'whole'.

It's that thing about having to actually learn to be on your own. If somebody is constantly rewarded when they up the ante, they don't learn it. They just learn new ways to coerce/scare/manipulate others into bending to their will.

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Of course it’s possible. It’s also possible that she’s genuinely utterly fucking clueless and about to walk into a lion’s den of fucking awful lions.

Lots of vulnerable women are unfortunately very unpleasant to be be around, for a wide variety of reasons; and the social isolation that results from their unpleasantness is a key factor in their vulnerability.

I’m increasingly seeing Jack in that category; I think she’s desperately lonely and so hungry for attention that she’s fine with negative attention. She is unable to see more than a few moves ahead - we’ve all seen her complete lack of ability to plan! - and I don’t think this is a contrived cry for attention in the way you might see it. I just don’t think she’s smart enough to be manipulative in that specific way.

don’t care how unpleasant someone like Jack is, I do not believe they deserve to come to harm, and I think harm is a realistic potential outcome of her current actions. Regardless of any - clearly failed - MH treatment she has received to date, I believe she should get a highly specialist assessment and the correct form of therapy for her issues (perhaps DBT given indications of personality disorder, tho I am not able to dx as not my pt and not my speciality) and appropriate medication for any comorbidities such as the bipolar she may well have - again not dxing as can’t, but especially as there might be substances involved.

signing off for a while as do not feel this is entertaining at present

Marmalade Atkins said:

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“Which piece are you most proud of?”
Hmm. Is this really the sort of thing people ask each other on Tinder? Maybe I’m being cynical, but this has made me wonder if this is all a fiction, and it’s Jack talking to herself on another of her phones. I mean, she does like to big herself up. And this (the Tinder thing) has all happened rather quickly. And it’s all rather “neat” isn’t it - a little group of people with desirable/interesting-sounding careers, all fascinated by Jack. Fancy that.
It’s Jack, after all. I wouldn’t put it past her to go to these lengths to try to get one over on her OH.
If OH is following this, he must be so relieved he escaped this lunacy.

How come the 3x dates have been set up already in the space of a few hours, one interaction resulted in >200 messages and the conversations all conveniently wound up at roughly the same time, allowing her to talk about it all fucking night on Twitter.

ETA: what would be worse?
A) if the whole tinder thing was true
B) if it was all a made up pile of Content

HotesTilaire said:

Grunting, but less than thrilled to see that the perpetually uninvited Sex Jack has turned up.

Sex Jack Sex Jack
No-body wants you back
Nobody on tinder or on the haunted bird app

https://giphy.com/YXAVxT2a4Xt9S

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Thread title?
Also just. no. words. for all of this. And tomorrow she'll no doubt be making a huge sobriety anniversary post and ugh, AA fraus I send you sympathy.

Lazarus said:

How come the 3x dates have been set up already in the space of a few hours, one interaction resulted in >200 messages and the conversations all conveniently wound up at roughly the same time, allowing her to talk about it all fucking night on Twitter.

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Because she made it up. hth babe. x

Boogs said:

This must be where I’m going wrong. *Rocks up to next date with a ukulele

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“Sing along if you know the words!

Whennnn the moon hits your eye like a big pumble pie… EVERYBODY!”

Let’s get some perspective here. Jack is so traumatised by the poverty she can’t open her mail or answer her door. Jack also likes to tell Twitter she is traumatised by the abusive relationships, sex work, death & rapethreats and the stalker. Yet Jack, of the many traumas, is comfortable putting her information on a dating app, then spending all day chatting to these random people, then arranging 3 dates with these anonymous men and just for good measure she reveals all this to half a million strangers on the internet.
https://giphy.com/bcs2sG50Bjxihh8AlD

Sideboard Bob said:

“Sing along if you know the words!

Whennnn the moon hits your eye like a big pumble pie… EVERYBODY!”

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https://giphy.com/ac9m4Qr1tP8kEsN8vX