Jack Monroe #331 Safe word - pumble

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Mr Krabs

A teacher, a ceramicist and a doctor walk into a bar. The barman says: how’s your love life going these days? The ceramicist says “it’s gone to pot!” Then the teacher and the doctor noticed a gold sprayed trifle on the bar and fell about hooting and fizzing.
 
Reactions: 76

Onestorytoomany

I had mate who recently did online dating. She was constantly telling us bloke where going hard with the flirting, then suddenly ghosting her. Wouldn't get too excited Hun. They just want tit pics!
 
Reactions: 40

Mrs Peel

Given that the teacher, doctor and pot maker have probably already seen her twitter, it's highly doubtful that she'll be going on any of those three 'dates'.
 
Reactions: 39

Mr Krabs

Google searches for tonight:

How much does teacher earnn
How much teacher earns southend
Rightmove Thorpe bay orangery
Doctor salaries uk
Harvester reservations online
 
Reactions: 98

StillLucilleBluth

Switchstreetz said:
Soundtrack to the thread so far
Click to expand...
Absolute genius

The jolly, pleasant intro for the canal’s usual Tuesday japes. The crescendo as tweets started. The accelerando as she posted her Tinder profile. The first cymbal clash for when she first started talking about the individual men. The closing notes for her replies. It’s what Grieg would have wanted, I feel.
 
Reactions: 44

usefullyuseless

Onestorytoomany said:
I had mate who recently did online dating. She was constantly telling us bloke where going hard with the flirting, then suddenly ghosting her. Wouldn't get too excited Hun. They just want tit pics!
Click to expand...
Her tit pics are already out there with a portion of the profits going to charity*

*charity TBC
 
Reactions: 38

MancBee

The teacher said "That taught me a lesson" and the doctor said "I'll keep taking the pills"
 
Reactions: 65

Onestorytoomany

The saddest part of today is that she really needs a friend.

Nobody should be telling a bunch of strangers this sort of stuff it's private and a real bonding exercise with your mates!
 
Reactions: 61

PoorPatrol

Will this fictional English teacher do his job, and teach her to use apostrophe’s’?
 
Reactions: 45

OwlRightsReserved

I'm never going to listen to Grieg again without remembering the day that Jack launched herself into orbit with her level 10 lunacy.
 
Reactions: 36
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