Jack Monroe #329 Pooroboros

[Knit one Pearl one]

Trying to snare him with a mortgage and a baby...she really wasn't taking any chances this time was she?

And a puppy.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

To be fair lots of people will have saved and worked really hard for their Glastonbury experience. It's the end of exam season too. Remember Alex with Dave and AJ Tracey? There are loads of summer festivals that kids work hard to save for a summer blow out. Most festivals have some sort of Leftie Corner. God knows I made the mistake of trying to sit through a Ken Loach talk at one .

Awww I like Ken Loach, he’s not petrified of class analysis like modern Labour are.
But yeah I concur, wouldn’t want to spend festival time at a talk from him

 

[Captainmouse]

Ooh, someone bring an expresso machine so we can sneer at it!

Whose got the stab vests? 🦺

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

Has she ever explained why she didn't buy a house with the 24k from KH?

 

[NellieBoo]

I used to live in Bristol and I don’t know anyone who’d get a taxi to Glasto. Getting a taxi was tough enough, let alone trying to convince one to drive you through the chaos of the roads around a festival site.

I doubt she'll get a taxi tomorrow from Temple Meads. Unless she or someone else is prepared to pay £££. There are lots of road closures around the A37/A4 areas generally. Been going on for months.

 

[TraceyJacks]

*whispers* "Jack, my muse, my inspiration, you're my Eleanor Rigby, thankyou"
Before a solitary cheer rolls down his cheek.

Hahah or Lady Jackdonna:
Who finds the money when you pay the RENT?
Did you think that money was heaven sent (by the paypigs?)

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Ah that's such a shame. They were amazing. My teenager now loves them too. She's turned into me at that age lol.

Mine too - I have to list every band I’ve ever liked for her to put into Spotify.

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

View attachment 1367871

 

[Hayze2384]

I have been asleep for a bit as I have been struck down with the Covids. What chaos have I missed from the Slop Gibbon?

 

[RaeRae]

Glastonbury is the ultimate festival of privilege, anyone who can afford to buy tickets before the lineup is announced each year not knowing if you will even like the bands is probably not suffering the full effects of the cost of living crisis. But yeah, shout fuck the tories to make yourself feel good!

Jack fits right in.

Yep! Once upon a time you could be guaranteed it would be loads of great bands and singers now it could be a few days of utter rubbish. It would be an absolute gamble buying tickets.

 

[Captainmouse]

Dear Chums

I feel my involvement in the dearest canal may have to come to an abrupt end unless you all start putting that orange fucking monstrosity of a hairdo behind a spoiler.

Yours, Lenny (accidental detective/creator of the #saltylenny hashtag/lover of all the Georgias)

Kumquat!

 

[Clapster1]

Same !! I’m amazed Jack isn’t already on the way…… unless she’s being picked up // delivered there by a chauffeur driven car ?

It's a fair distance - maybe 4hrs in a car!?!

 

[NellieBoo]

Yup. I've told somebody who thought they were far too famous to have people doing anything but bowing and scraping that if they were going to do that, they were going to be doing it next to the toilets in the rain because they certainly weren't going to be doing it on my stage.


And I've had significantly more influential people than them bring me a bacon sandwich and a coffee or help clear the stage area of beer cups because they were decent human beings.


It's weird not working the festivals. Although it's quite nice not having to crawl under a stage to get some shuteye in the middle of a set or literally falling asleep sitting upright. But if I were Supreme Emperor of the Universe, I would have snipers posted on the gantries to pick off cunts with fucking flares.




Green Man was utter shite. As soon as you got there (roadying), you were accosted by stoned posh girls mumbling that you were going to have to let them move you across three fields without the use of your van because 'the environment' and them trying to drag ten grand's worth of gear on the ground behind them. They got fucked off pretty sharpish, whereupon they drifted off to wobble away to Afro Celt Sound System and the like.



No way would JM have any idea of what it's like to actually be crew or a real performer. Appropriately enough, she'd just be filler.

I've this because the Green Man description is so .

 

[Captainmouse]

I can't remember which thread it was - but the one with the 50p sized mouth ulcers that could only be cured by wearing bright red lipstick, as recommended by a lady doctor, if I am remembering correctly. The photos from that were so bizarre and I think it was around that point I discovered Tattle.

I nipped off to the media gallery to find a picture of this, as they are particularly scarey, but couldn’t see them. If anybody finds them, please upload.

 

[Tittykitty]

When I was growing up mum used to get worse. Sterilised milk in long tall bottles with beer bottle caps, suppose that might be what uht milk is today? And st Ivel Five pints milk powder! Eugh, still better than just water on your weetabix.

In the ‘70’s my mum used to used marvel powdered milk and occasionally Five Pints, as a treat she would make cream with whichever she had in, using more powder and a little water, it was bloody disgusting.

 

[Mr Krabs]

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Vlad, bit gauche, babe x

Hey it’s Jack and her blue tick mates (ignoring her as usual).

 

[NellieBoo]

Has Jack ever promised any Fire Safety tips?
With her precarious candles, wire nibbling mice roaming about, and the layout of her kitchen, she's basically a 'what not to do' guide

I arrange fire safety home checks for my service users. I could book one for Jack!

 

[Stormageddon]

<deleted because I got my online MH mags confused, apologies for the chaos>

 

[Shawads]

But... but where's your carefully listed stock take? How do you know you haven't got ice lollies if you haven't written down 'ice lollies 0'? How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? So many questions

Nice Floyd nod to Scottish jack mashup there

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

I'm softly, gently easing myself back into these threads again after the last couple. I was here in spirit for Content and the other stuff best not mentioned. I bit my tongue and sat on my hands. Jack, you're vile and Squig, you'd pee yourself if you read the Wiki.

The William Shatner with his dodgy views on Autism?