Jack Monroe #329 Pooroboros

[jenny2603]

Posted in response to her picture of a receiptView attachment 1368405

Absolutely at this. Imagine the state they'd get into if Jack actually did something productive.

 

[Ostapbender]

View attachment 1369768
This is what I posted. Enjoy.

Content Dog looking at it like... hmm, did I do that?

 

[Captainmouse]

I, a veritable genius and brainiac often stopped in the streets for my famed brilliance, have no idea how this could work (and after three reads hope I never have to learn, as my brain seems likely to explode)

so, like this

But with a double circle at the top, for the 'wind sock' to sit. Pass thru the middle, tie a knot at the bottom.
cut and tie as necessary.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Her Mediterranean arse collapsed after taking a tumble down the stairs of Shitty Bungalow.

the

I really thought Jack would turn up.

Trolls in Jack's dms. Mysterious references to police advice, and it is being investigated.

Her wee boy was scared for her, and Jack .would move mountains and not turn up to long scheduled events for her lil man.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Apolos it was actually 16 minutes from checkout to home…is this a PB?
View attachment 1367299

Looks like it's on her lap, so she's probably in a cab or getting a lift with her parents.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

She said accounts - so Companies House will be happy but HRMC will have someone able to look and see if her lifestyle matches her declared means.

*Cough*furlough claim*cough*

Did she claim furlough for herself? I knew she claimed it for Caroline with the hands.

 

[margaretta]

Can’t find the post in this thread (or I’m too lazy too look). But it was commented on that Jack hasn’t shared the tweet by her publisher about being at an event to promote her book.

Is the reason she hasn’t shared it because she knows she will duck that event too?

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I think there has been a Hopkins (did have brain op) and Monroe (no brain to op on) chaos.

I seeee!

 

[NellieBoo]

Just had a look, she can do it mostly on public transport with a final taxi journey.

06:36: Thorpe Bay - c2c towards London Fenchurch Street

07:26: get off at West Ham

07:32: tube - on the Jubilee towards Willesden Green

07:56: get off at Baker Street Station

08:00: tube - Bakerloo towards Stonebridge Park

08:05: get off at Paddington Station.

08:13: GWR towards Exeter St David’s.

09:47: get off at Bristol Temple Meads.

From here, on a good day a taxi is a 50 minute drive to Glastonbury. She can’t get the bus because it leaves at 09:48. She ought to book the taxi so it’s there waiting for her. She can do it, if she’s organised and there are no external chaoses on the train or roads.

Do we think Jack can manage that journey without causing multiple chaos?

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

I was hoping for a last minute virtual dial in with all the DKL hits, power stances, rogue animals, interrupting other people awkwardly and internet issues.

 

[Pavlova]

All of her chaos is entirely of her own making.

Thread title nomination here x

 

[NeoCortex]

I think that might be what the dried sea veg/carrots are for. Poor Content, send Bonios

She must know what sea weed is right? Rather than calling it kwispy gween sea onion?

I always feel like that smiley is used by people giving snippy replies.

Yeah means being a c*nt basically

 

[Captainmouse]

It actually drives me spare. It's not a 20 pound weekly shop or anything because she doesn't do any recipe plans with it. It's just a "let's see how much food I can buy for 20" which is an entirely different thing.

It’s a top up shop, it is not a weekly shop.

 

[catgoldo]

Jack Monroe; Patreon Saint of Nightmeats, e-Receipts & Perpetual Catatonic Reprises.

thread title!

 

[Lazarus]

Oh nooo!!!!! The biggest luxury in my life is to listen to the Archers whilst having a bath. If I have to leap out to change the station i will never get over it .

Bradley Wiggins opened the Ambridge Fete once. The Slopmeister is an unknown compared to him

Bradley Wiggins is *chefs kiss*

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Can anyone, anyone at all, describe even one of her tattoos without looking up a pic. I can't. They really aren't her most defining feature.

ETA that wasn’t a catty dig at her looks. I just don’t get what it is about the tattoos that apparently makes her so recognisable. You’d either know her face or you wouldn’t?

Erm.... there's the doctor one? It's some words... but....i don't know what they are

 

[margaretta]

Can't believe she's done this to Billy Bragg Mate. Maybe she mislaid her stab vest and it just wasn't safe for her to attend.

She will claim she didn’t turn up because the content was sick, as though she is trying to appease us.

 

[Walkdengirl]

My daughter and I did go to see Weezer, Fall Out Boy and Green Day this weekend though which was cancelled twice due to covid. Well worth the wait. Flushing toilets, no camping. Ahhhh wonderful!

ETA: no debate from a certain person either. Winning!

My daughter went to that and said it was absolutely amazing.

And if I ever go to a festival again it will be either in a caravan or campervan with toilet and shower!

 

[instacharlie]

Sorry, that’s me imagining that little Content is getting a spendy subscription delivery. I’ve heard the name on adverts and it sounded suitably middle class.

Oh
Well whatever she gets won't work out cheap, but will still have more nutrition than the sausages!

 

[Falkor]

I don't understand why she keeps calling it a bungalow?
I keep forgetting to ask on here!
Ref the subtotal on receipts, this is a thing you can ask for at the till, I have a numbers dyscalcula type thing and you can ask them to subtotal every now and then as it goes through the till to make sure you stay within your budget

The agent's rental listing for it still shows up archived on some of the house price websites and they described it as a bungalow on that for some reason.