Jack Monroe #329 Pooroboros

[Cariad]

Vlad is showing us she should try her luck with this? But she doesn't answer her mobile phone , so she won't

 

[Skyfall]

If Spaniel friend has Covid- maybe the LL popped in and pup sat whilst Jackie gal slopped around Asda? ‍

 

[NellieBoo]

What time does she have to be there? There's an 8.51 leaving Paddington direct to Castle Cary getting in at 10.24 and there's a free shuttle bus from Castle Cary to the festival.

It'll be chaos on the shuttle bus. Sunday is 'locals day' at Glasto. Loads of people in and out.

A little edit of the bio has happened.
It might be that I'm slow on the uptake but now that we are going in to strike territory we've got the fire service bit up front too.

Wolfie Jack

 

[Dogmuck]

Remember when we all learned what a tort is? I’m like that today with quark.

I thought it was a kind of particle, and honestly wouldn’t put it past Jack to list her entire shopping down to the last atom.

I knew what a tort was but I’ve never heard of quark until today - it’s just one long education this place. I’m scared to google it though.

 

[Vanelope]

Bringing Spaniel friend’s last tweet to this thread for reference:

Jack Monroe #328 Something went wrong. Try again.

She doesn't need to buy pet food, she's probably creating an Amazon wishlist as we speak for the Squigs to provide it

tattle.life

 

[SmillieKylie]

It's under way...


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#jackwatch

I’ve got my SM Jack references firing out left, right and centre, mainly left though ( I’ll never be a comedian ) it‘s all returning tumbleweed so far, where are you Jack, your audience awaits, why so quiet…Jack…Jack….Jack !

 

[jenny2603]

I wondered if she’s been canned for Chris instead

Jack isn't appearing until Sunday.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Aye, right so you are. Jack has obviously been softly, gently, whispering encouraging words backstage to this young whippersnapper, so she has. Συγγνώμη. Go well

Excellent deploy of “excuse me” in the original Greek there sweety T

 

[Smeghead]

I wonder if she thought she needed to make a big song and dance about the split with Harold to have an excuse for not attending this weekend, not realising that not one person would Tweet wondering where she was

 

[Shawads]

Her dream of home ownership is pure pie in the sky. She will never get a mortgage.

Several thousand squigs would beg to differ

 

[Pavlova]

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A brambley mouse took a stroll through the stuffy BBC
An exec saw the mouse, and wanted him for his tea
“ where are you going , little brambley mouse? Come and have tea in my big forever house!”

“Oh it’s terribly kind of you exec, but no,
I’m off for some slop with the Gruffamonroe!
“ what’s a Gruffamonroe?”
“ a Gruffamonroe, why didn’t you know?

She has too many teeth, and terrible hair,
A lingering honk, and an empty souled stare”
“ where are you meeting them ? “
“ why, here by this tree. And their favourite food is execs from TV”

“ tv exec? It’s time I LEFT “
“ good luck Brambley mouse” and off he sped

I love it. As I've just got into bed, it's like an exclusive bedtime story just for ninnies.
Edit to add: I nearly said like a Jackanory story, but we don't like those ones, do we! x

 

[I steal names]

Can anyone, anyone at all, describe even one of her tattoos without looking up a pic. I can't. They really aren't her most defining feature.

I've a vague impression of them all feeling quite random and clumsy. They'll look cracking when they're all blown and v faded. Like my old granda's

 

[Boyo]

I have written a book about Jack and had it published. It's a brilliant expomoleee about the grift and full of journalistic integrity. I thought I'd share it here.

Spoiler: The book

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[HotesTilaire]

Bella and Duke - I had to google!
Crikey our dog would cost £4.37 per day on that.
So the dog gets top of the range raw food diet, and her boy gets maize snacks and bollock sausages?
Is the penny still not dropping for the squigs?

Sorry, that’s me imagining that little Content is getting a spendy subscription delivery. I’ve heard the name on adverts and it sounded suitably middle class.

 

[Falkor]

Just had a look, she can do it mostly on public transport with a final taxi journey.

06:36: Thorpe Bay - c2c towards London Fenchurch Street

07:26: get off at West Ham

07:32: tube - on the Jubilee towards Willesden Green

07:56: get off at Baker Street Station

08:00: tube - Bakerloo towards Stonebridge Park

08:05: get off at Paddington Station.

08:13: GWR towards Exeter St David’s.

09:47: get off at Bristol Temple Meads.

From here, on a good day a taxi is a 50 minute drive to Glastonbury. She can’t get the bus because it leaves at 09:48. She ought to book the taxi so it’s there waiting for her. She can do it, if she’s organised and there are no external chaoses on the train or roads.

What time does she have to be there? There's an 8.51 leaving Paddington direct to Castle Cary getting in at 10.24 and there's a free shuttle bus from Castle Cary to the festival.

 

[Captainmouse]

Have never heard of this man before these threads but see why they get along:

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(Found this googling if he still lived in the ends, apparently he sold his Dorset villa for £3mil)

Maybe he’ll buy mackie a house? Champagne socialist

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Hey people. I’m new to this thread after being so curious about why this was always top thread… all I have to say is what the eff is wrong with this woman? I hate victims so much. People who constantly address their “issues” and use them as a shield against their disgusting behaviour isn’t good.

She clearly loves herself a bit too much. The fact that there are all these posts about her and people constantly discussing her probs turns her on. Definitely the most attention she gets from anyone.

ANYWAY, my question is for a newb.. which threads have the most action? I have already lurked on her posts on here. Any that you totally recommend me going back and looking at, any involving drama or when something good happened bc I need direction. Fanks

Threads from early 2021 are good.

Good isn’t the right word. They are hard to read because Jack isn’t being her best self but they moved fast then.

 

[TankGirl]

Well done, I guess

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Just explain to me what meal one would produce out of this lot? One proper meal ….

Totally not stalkerish but I was curious and spent £3 today on Land Registry site and it isn't owned by big dave. If i put my paypal up please send casheros to compensate my out of pocket expenses.

I was literally thinking about doing this …

 

[Django]

Bubble Buddy Louisa Compton was 100% in the corner on the computer, hidden by the tube.

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What is wrong with that thumb nail ?

 

[kachoochoo]

I would like to nominate simply “Nightmeat” for thread title please and thankyou



Thank you It makes me laugh that Jack is so thick she couldn’t understand the meaning behind The Way I Loved You never mind mirrorball or seven. I can imagine her sat there with that fucking notebook writing the song lyrics out trying to work out what they mean!
And she can stay the fuck away from the lakes, my second favourite of all time. If she tweets any lyrics to that song I will be in mourning for the next month.

let's be real here, jack wouldn't understand the meaning of shake it off, she's that dumb

she thinks folklore is a break-up album

also, if the lakes is your 2nd fave, what's your fave? my 2nd fave is champagne problems

Maybe she relates to the last great american dynasty because she lives in a massive house near the coast and her neighbours don't like her

she pretty much said that on that virgin radio, or whatever it was, podcast a few months ago!