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Jack Monroe #329 Pooroboros
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Yes Squig. Back off. Jack knows best. She has such a good past record with pets. Look at the guinea pigs. Oh. Moving on Sophie/Pretzel...ah wait no bad example, well Mini...mm, anyway her rabbit Dash.
Fuckit. Jack I tried.
The bullshit here:
“I don’t have a plan yet”
…….
…….
What in god’s name were you twatting around with that list for then?! Blimey
(Ignoring the dog stuff, don’t want to get sad again)
She 'tends to rescue the meat at the end of the night from Tesco Express'? So what time is that then? About 8 - 9pm I would guess. First time we've heard about this mission of mercy to liberate unwanted meat. And who looks after her son while she is doing this.
And 'my freezer is full'. Lucky you. Relatable.
And 'my freezer is full'. Lucky you. Relatable.
When a dog explores a new surrounding their tail is up because they are excited.
When they are frightened they keep their tail between their legs and a close eye on the danger (extremely large cat stalking them)
But she knows everything. Because she has owned a designer dog for a couple of days.
When they are frightened they keep their tail between their legs and a close eye on the danger (extremely large cat stalking them)
But she knows everything. Because she has owned a designer dog for a couple of days.
What?
...
ETA
'I don't expect anyone to have this in stock'.
So why use it as an example of what is desirable and achievable then? She presents herself as 'one of us' when it comes to budgeting but all of a sudden she is a cookery writer so just ignore her as it is a cheffy thing we wouldn't understand.
You're meant to be a "poverty campaigner" Jack. Not a bloody chef. I'd be surprised if Nigella herself has this much in her pantry at any given point.*
You're pretending you give helpful advice, so why not at least start by pretending you don't have a ten year accumulation of crap in your cupboard. That's your starting point for helpful advice.
*ETA and if she does it's because she has actual friends and loved ones she cooks for.
You're pretending you give helpful advice, so why not at least start by pretending you don't have a ten year accumulation of crap in your cupboard. That's your starting point for helpful advice.
*ETA and if she does it's because she has actual friends and loved ones she cooks for.
I don’t buy the ‘Heroine of the Forgotten Meat’ story for a second.
For one thing that’s usually prime Twitter spite time, also I don’t know about anyone else, but at my local supermarkets people fight over the decent reduced section stuff? Especially meat and fish. Usually have to queue up after it’s been stocked and get a death stare from Susan as you browse it
The only thing you’re likely to find just before closing is something bizarre like a kidney and mash ready meal or some dodgy looking pate, maybe an opened packet of liver (prime Jack honk diet I know but I still don’t believe it).
For one thing that’s usually prime Twitter spite time, also I don’t know about anyone else, but at my local supermarkets people fight over the decent reduced section stuff? Especially meat and fish. Usually have to queue up after it’s been stocked and get a death stare from Susan as you browse it
The only thing you’re likely to find just before closing is something bizarre like a kidney and mash ready meal or some dodgy looking pate, maybe an opened packet of liver (prime Jack honk diet I know but I still don’t believe it
).Oh good! Blu-tac photoshoot will be happening after all. Apparently the light was no good by the time she got home.
Jack Monroe: Meat Rescuer.
Also, what in the duck is a "perpetual catatonic reprise"? She's just flinging random words together to make herself sound deep and intelligent.
Also, what in the duck is a "perpetual catatonic reprise"? She's just flinging random words together to make herself sound deep and intelligent.
She's chatting tit. Jack has been banging on about her ASDA yellow sticker hauls for the entire duration of these threads - and all of them were part of her normal shop. There was no end of the night shopping.I don’t buy the ‘Heroine of the Forgotten Meat’ story for a second.
For one thing that’s usually prime Twitter spite time, also I don’t know about anyone else, but at my local supermarkets people fight over the decent reduced section stuff? Especially meat and fish. Usually have to queue up after it’s been stocked and get a death stare from Susan as you browse it
The only thing you’re likely to find just before closing is something bizarre like a kidney and mash ready meal or some dodgy looking pate, maybe an opened packet of liver (prime Jack honk diet I know but I still don’t believe it
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Mmm, UHT milk for SB.
sums it upThe Ego soars!
(no she wasn't tagged in this, glad she's not BUSY for a change)
(no she wasn't tagged in this, glad she's not BUSY for a change)
I am perpetually behind on these threads and Jack in general atm but I just found out about the puppy and I am 
I’m an animal lover generally but a dog person above all (a real dog person, not a heckin’ clueless got a doggorino for validation and the ‘gram wanker like our JM) and I don’t even know where to start.
Wonder how long the poor thing will last. Longer than Mini? Is she a labradoodle? Fancy. Can’t have been much change left out of the £34 bank balance. They’re notoriously active and quite a handful (especially for someone with so many alleged health conditions). Also, no offence to any doodle owners but such a classic basic witch move by Jack.
I know all this must have been said a thousand times already. Anyway, good luck, Laurie.
I’m an animal lover generally but a dog person above all (a real dog person, not a heckin’ clueless got a doggorino for validation and the ‘gram wanker like our JM) and I don’t even know where to start.
Wonder how long the poor thing will last. Longer than Mini? Is she a labradoodle? Fancy. Can’t have been much change left out of the £34 bank balance. They’re notoriously active and quite a handful (especially for someone with so many alleged health conditions). Also, no offence to any doodle owners but such a classic basic witch move by Jack.
I know all this must have been said a thousand times already. Anyway, good luck, Laurie.
As excuses go, this one sounds particularly bogus. Especially as “natural daylight” at the moment is until at least 9:30 p.m. (it is literally midsummer!).
She is such a colossal fake.
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