Jack Monroe #329 Pooroboros

Congrats to @BlendedSlop for the words and @jenny2603 for nominating the thread title! A framed, signed print of Jack being as heckin adorable as her puppy is winging its way to you both as we speak.

Recap of last thread:

Full throttle last night with photos of Laurie, complete with every dog mama cliche and Jack joke under the sun for captions. Bork bork. One of the photos contained her *shock, horror* work number on the puppy’s tag, but what her worry - she never answers it despite it being aflame every night with friends asking for help with their dinner ideas. Hahaha.

Jack has stated that she is planning on staying for the next two years in her bungalow of dreams / nightmares (depending on what day it is) and she’ll be working like a demon to fix her credit score and buy her forever home. In the meantime, she’s going to line her 2-3 car driveway with troughs to plant herbs and veg in. What’s that, I hear you cry? Compost is very expensive, Jack! Fear not, she has endless supplies from under her nails, of which she is very proud. Seeing as she likes to photograph her fingernails ALL THE DANG TIME (2.5 on WikiNails at last check).

She’s written some more big shopping lists and photographed them for Twitter to marvel at. Who could even be arsed.

Please use the words ‘thread title’ when nominating one and no bad words while you’re at it.

Was too slow at the end of the last thread but regarding spaghetti hoops being cheaper in Sainsburys, remember Jack can only shop around when she is deliberately doing dodgy maths for her twat trifle.

Does anyone else get the feeling that Spaniel Friend knows what's up..

Much as I'd like to gobble up the the credit for the thread tile like a greedy goblin credit for the excellent thread title really ought to go to @BlendedSlop who came up with it. I just used my weird little puppy brain to make the nomination.

Take it she hasn’t gone to duet with Billy tonight then.

Disappointed if I am being perfectly honest.

We have a pop-up tent in the living room all ready and a shewee if the excitement gets too much and we can’t be bothered to go upstairs.

Might have to crash a student ball now or something.

ChickenPorridge said:

Does anyone else get the feeling that Spaniel Friend knows what's up..

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I don’t think it’ll be long before she’s blacklisted a braver soul than I

jenny2603 said:

Much as I'd like to gobble up the the credit for the thread tile like a greedy goblin credit for the excellent thread title really ought to go to @BlendedSlop who came up with it. I just used my weird little puppy brain to make the nomination.

Jack Monroe #328 Something went wrong. Try again.

She did let him polish some pebbles one time, let’s be fair And play with an old broken camera #aspirationalparenting

tattle.life

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Whoops! Made 11th hour changes to my book acknowledgments.

ChickenPorridge said:

Does anyone else get the feeling that Spaniel Friend knows what's up..

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I think Spaniel friend is with us….
https://giphy.com/KJDmsLhiORPH9mfkdf

Maybe as spaniel friend is a responsible dog owner she's majorly pissed at Jack for getting a puppy?

Bringing Spaniel friend’s last tweet to this thread for reference:

instacharlie said:

Maybe as spaniel friend is a responsible dog owner she's majorly pissed at Jack for getting a puppy?

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I get the horrible feeling poor Spaniel Friend has nodded and smiled at Jack once about getting a dog, not thinking it would actually happen and now is stuck watching the horror unfold.

Pooroboros, pal!

Chapeau!

She's replied to Spaniel Friend. Not sure what the upside down smiley face is meant to mean?

My grandad was a coal miner and his fingernails were cleaner than hers. Ugh.

Veronicaaa said:

She's replied to Spaniel Friend. Not sure what the upside down smiley face is meant to mean?

View attachment 1367033

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Maybe it means, ‘Yah, I KNOW.’

Spaniel friend is dogsitting

Pertinent question. Has she actually ever eaten her own food? Or is it like when mcdonalds makes menu pics, covered in varnish and creosote and chucked in the bin while she orders from nandos?

I've just been doing a list of my own for a shop. It was a complicated process.

Step one: used my eyeballs to scan the kitchen forensically for things that used to be there but now aren't. Took four hours.

Step two: write list of things that are missing using one of my pens (nobody else is allowed to touch them). Based on looking at the VBI/a bin full of old receipts I calculated each item I needed had gone up 344% so I punched a wall, screamed on Twitter then used my laser focused brain to plan accordingly.

Step three: had a rest

Step four: Go to supermarket with my rucksack, walking around the store in the order of my list. This takes FOREVER and wouldn't occur to anyone else with a brain to do because I'm a super special supermarket genius. The shop came in at under £20 and in total has taken me all day to plan and execute. Will need to take tomorrow off to recover.

Ooh ooh! I bet she tries to make her own dog food while subscribed as previously mentioned to a high end service for pets

NeoCortex said:

Ooh ooh! I bet she tries to make her own dog food while subscribed as previously mentioned to a high end service for pets

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I think that might be what the dried sea veg/carrots are for. Poor Content, send Bonios