Jack Monroe #328 Something went wrong. Try again.

[Captainmouse]

Jack, if you're reading us, please, for the love of all that is holy, ADD A FUCKING NAIL BRUSH TO THE LIST.

Maybe YouTube how to use it

 

[NellieBoo]

Why is the canal so funny this evening
I would love to know the true story of the Eucalyptus Agreement of 2022, but I guess it'll be another case of WFK

It's a combination of the heat and Peak Jack, dearheart. Like some sultry film set in the Deep South.

 

[Boogs]

My big bruiser boy cat was crossed with a panther. He was 8kg and not considered to be overweight.

 

[NellieBoo]

Ffs this thread title is confusing me, I keep closing and reopening Tattle because I glance up and read ‘Something went wrong. Try again’

My own smol pixie chaos (I’m only 5 1.75)

Babe, same x

 

[Ostapbender]

Fantasy list, check the prices, backpack on, diary in hand, fingers crossed everything's in stock (no seriously, look what happened last time they ran out!)
Asda here I come - for there shall be no other.

Back up K2 for another go

 

[threeSMEGfridges]

I think the radio silence is because she knows she was a complete dick to that guy the other night. Dropped a huge bombshell and now can't just go back to posting twee photos of her dog.

Plus she has the Glastonbury problem to deal with. All I can say is her wonky puppy brain will need to figure it all out by Saturday night. How to go to a paid gig and not look like a twat for leaving a new puppy at home

Get it right up you.

I’m now lost in Jack world! Last I checked she’d deactivated for like 3 minutes…

who was she a dick to?

the puppy is gorgeous so WHY GO TO GLASTO YOU SELFISH TWAT.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

OH definitely took the ick from her nails. Sorry but she actually never cleans them ever, not like it's a one-off

 

[Captainmouse]

Can someone ring her and ask for the broccoli pasta recipe?

Or go the whole hog and read 'the list'
do you think she has voice mail?

 

[Boyo]

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He’s huuuuuge, 23 pounds, I weighed him ~forensically~. Most of his size is fluffy floof that doesn’t really weigh a lot, now can Mr T Roll and his compadres please leave me alone. Make. It. Make. Sense.

 

[SarcasticEllis]

Right, lads, what ice lolly is everyone having?

I got myself some rocket lollies to mark the day.

Toot toot!

I can’t eat rocket lollies now without thinking of Normal People. It’s almost tree surgeon levels of nonsense

 

[Boogs]

Shitting on the emin hopefully.

Maybe that’s already happened as I’m not convinced the dog is actually there. Surely she would be spamming Twitter with videos and photos?

 

[Amanda Lin]

I've been playing Rimworld for the last 10 hours so I'm absolutely frazzled but I vaguely remember her tweeting something about how she went through the lease line by line to see if she could move out after the year. How did her forensic, analytical, maverick mind miss the part about taking care of the tree?

ETA: found it, also not totally sure why my two comments were posted in the one
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Don't think anyone posted this yet, I know she said she slowly introduced the dog to Cooper with clothes or whatever, but surely being in a new house with a massive cat sniffing your arse would be fairly stressful for the dog?
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OT: But what in the name of Pumble is Rimworld Binkbonk?

 

[Helatruralhome]

But that doesn't make any sense. Why would Jack send her phone number to so many people, only to ignore it when it rings? What is the point?

I'm wondering if Jack is thinking she's like Bill Murray or something

 

[trueblue222]

So she got the puppy yesterday and has abandoned it today to go to Glastonbury. Good timing Jack. Poor dog.
Poor bewildered puppy not even had the chance to settle before she fucks off. Hateful.

She's not speaking till Sunday and the trains are on strike today so she's not necessarily travelling today if she goes

 

[NeoCortex]

Could you imagine Jack sat next to you on a long train journey eating a tea boiled egg paste sandwich on a hot day. Bleurgh. The thought alone has made me wretch.

Might improve the smell tbh

 

[GoLando]

Thread Title: Pooroboros

Chef’s kiss

 

[Lazarus]

Heckin bore off, Jack

FTFY

too short.
Fuck off Jack.

 

[Boyo]

Tbh any train journey with Jack "Lingerie Honk" Monroe would make me crave the sweet embrace of death, but that especially.

ETA Oh it's lingering honk, not lingerie.

Lingreenie honk?

 

[binkbonk]

One of mine weighs 13 kilos, so it's not impossible. She also said he weighed 7 kgs when she carried the 90 kilo sideboard around so he's likely neither. Who the fuck knows?

OT but please post a picture of the 13kg cat?? Mine are 4.5kg

 

[Monk7]

Could be both.

Well no, what I mean is, if she's suffering a mental health crisis then how it manifests could be with narcissistic traits (among other things), however she could be a narcissist and a cnt, subtle differences but there we are.