Jack Monroe #328 Something went wrong. Try again.

[NellieBoo]

'That is far too close to Humbert Humbert (from Lolita)'. He was a very old bloke, in his 90's, so unlikely @StatusWoe. And he was an absolute sweetheart.

 

[Captainmouse]

Woofer. Give me a break

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🩲 says it all

 

[Sketchy]

I bet he was expecting a response similar to this for his request to become a Lord and just waved through - arise lord Martin Lewis:

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Oh what a load of fckn shite!

 

[Orphan_Black]

Or go the whole hog and read 'the list'
do you think she has voice mail?

Her emails are clear and empty......

(Just being silly obvs not saying anything serious.)

 

[Powershower]

Out of this list, you can make so many meals with maybe the addition of some milk and butter. Why is she adding to this with anything else? The point of batch cooking is to actually eat the things you cook, not just fill freezer after freezer. Christ.

Cereal + milk+ fruit
Oats + berries + milk
Fish pie mix + peas + milk + butter + plain flour + instant mash = fish pie
Chicken + tikka masala sauce + rice
Frozen lasagne
Lentils + veg + stock + spices to make daal
Meatballs + passata + onions + celery + carrots + spaghetti
Roast squash, broccoli, onions, any veg + couscous, serve it with literally any of the fish
Chicken + chorizo + passata + onions, serve with literally any carb you want
Anchovies + capers + passata etc. to make actual puttanesca

Etc. etc. There you go Jack, that's already 8 evening meals you can have for free, plus two breakfast options.

Also, what in Harold's holy name is this?

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Our new thread title?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Or… Greece

Try Palmers Green

 

[StatusWoe]

'That is far too close to Humbert Humbert (from Lolita)'. He was a very old bloke, in his 90's, so unlikely @StatusWoe. And he was an absolute sweetheart.

Oh no, I meant his name. Wasn't implying anything about his character.

 

[Lazarus]

Try Palmers Green

My dad used to live there! (Palmers Greek!)

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Well, there was this:

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I thought she changed it before that?

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

Spoiler: Dog collar talk/death

We stopped our dogs wearing collars at home years ago. Our vet had a horrible experience of a dog strangling themselves in their crate when the collar got caught on the bars. Ever since then, no collars or harnesses at home.

Spoiler: Collar accident

Puppy is fine !! But a few years ago our puppy got himself caught on the door handle of our dresser and he literally just struggled a bit and then he just lay there he was scared stiff !! Thankfully I was right there and released him immediately but it was terrifying

 

[StringyMango]

Ourobouros (sp?) is a snake thing eating itself in a circle, like the dog is doing.
Im thinking she's seen someone say it somewhere else, she's not that smart, tbh.

I concur MCM

 

[Captainmouse]

What is this nonsense?


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And the pup??

 

[binkbonk]

OT: But what in the name of Pumble is Rimworld Binkbonk?

Spoiler: Rimworld

It's a sci-fi colony simulation/management game

You can do crazy medical things in it which leads to some pretty funny (dark humour) Reddit threads out of context, although some of them are using a mod to do more R rated things (eg. in the screenshot). You can also have a cannibalistic slave owning colony who torture people as part of their religion, which I don't do because I feel bad for the pawns

I love starting from nothing on a new planet and working my way up to having a sustainable colony. But any game like that is too addicting for me (see: playing it for 10 hours) so I only do it once in a while

 

[Moneypenny’sfreedom]

They're all relaxing in the bungalow right now. Content dog nosing through piles of shite, Jack crouched on her phone amongst the heaps, eyes fixed on the screen, Cooper plotting to go and live next door, landlady peering in at them. Like something out of Hogarth

With or without the discarded gin bottles?

Bet she daren‘t cut down too many triffids in the garden lest the empties be discovered.

 

[Lazarus]

Before I married I had the same full name as a singer. Back in the mid 2000s I had a BBC news ticker for the new headlines across my computer screen which said: "Secretsu dies suddenly at home her manager says..."
And for just a minute I thought, did i?!

Sky Saxon?
(amazing frontman of The Seeds. Died the same day as pweirdo pants Michael Jackson and was totally overlooked)

 

[StringyMango]

Totally off topic ….I ADORE Kate Bush. . Any post about her rather than our smol pixie is okay by me.

Babe same.

 

[Captainmouse]

[

We all have family members who do that don’t we?

Go to the sorting office all expectant clutching our little red card. See the card with no stamp with the familiar writing and the £1.00 charge to pay and think f*** it, I’d rather have a magnum.

Agent/publisher will have no clue who it’s from, and think it is important 🫢

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

I don't want to ring her and Cooper's size doesn't bother me, but a non law abiding part of me would like to see 'Jack Monroe Laughs At Cats In Distress' sprayed on the garden wall

Gary Sambrook style?

 

[SarcasticEllis]

We didn’t start the fiiiiiiire

that’s tickled me

 

[NeoCortex]

Jack: Can't. Shan't. Stop picking on me.

*strokes asda discount card* she can get an extra 1.6p off

Why would she put her work phone number on a dog tag? Especially if she never answers it? What happens if the dog runs away and some good Samaritan is trying to call her and she never picks up? Make it make sense!

Careful not to tread in the bullshit I'd say