Jack Monroe #325 She facetuned THE SKY

[DinosaurSenior]

She does love to have the final flounce, but she'll be back in 5 minutes, peeping thru the bannister asking for a glass of water

 

[colouredlines]

honestly, it's just all made up, isn't it? I sincerely doubt anyone's turned up without prior notice (and on a saturday!) to talk about cutting down a tree

I'd say her sudden decision to mow the lawn was probably inspired by the letting agent telling her a tree surgeon was coming round.

Or, for another theory, the tree surgeon has been lost in the undergrowth for weeks now, surviving on the second-hand slop that OH and SB secretly toss out the window, and the lawnmowing session unearthed him.

 

[Emmapism]

I think that Jack was probably always narcissistic but it’s got worse over the years with more attention and access to the lifestyle she thinks she deserves.

She must have thought that she’d truly made it when she got with Allegra. Looking back at pictures of them she looks positively giddy. I have no doubt that was as much about the lifestyle and future life she envisaged as it was about the relationship. The problem with narcissists is that the lovebombing never lasts that long. The new partner they have idealised does something that they don’t like or challenges them in some way and the rose tinted glasses are truly off. Allegra appears to be a strong woman so I would imagine once the honeymoon period ran out Jack found out very quickly that she couldn’t control her. Jacks next way to get attention was to come out as trans (I’m sorry I really do think this was just attention seeking like pretty much everything else that comes out of her mouth as she is so inconsistent with it). This backfired on her and she was suddenly back in Southend living a life that she thought was below her.

I think the Katie Hopkins trial made things much worse too. Let’s face it any person with half a brain detests Hopkins and what she stands for and if you didn’t follow the details of the trial Jack is the hero who slayed the dragon. Lots of attention and a chunk of money. She was on a real high and then straight away met Louisa.

Whilst Louisa doesn’t have the money and status that Allegra did she has a very good job and she appeared to be someone who Jack could control more (evidenced by the instructions and recipe left for her and her dropping everything to support Jack and her ‘alcoholism’). Again Jack thought she’d landed on her feet but Louisa thankfully wised up and escaped.

I think the real issue with her mental health is that she was so close to what she wants and she is essentially tantrum throwing left right and centre until her life, and the people around her, behave in the way she wants. She doesn’t have the understanding or ability to self reflect to see the role that she plays in her life as she sees herself as a victim.

It’s sad because she has resources that so many don’t yet really can’t see how lucky she is at all.

This is bang on. Allegra was the accomplished cook and foodie Jack wished she was. Louisa was the accomplished TV professional Jack wished she was. And she tried to appropriate their successes as hers. That's why she loves throwing around all this 'in restaurant parlance/on shoot days' blah blah blah because she's only ever been adjacent to this stuff. Wearing the outfit of someone else without any of the skill or genuine experience behind it.

 

[Mel Donte]

If her house cost two thirds of what it's valued at she'd buy it in a heartbeat? So she can afford a £533k house? Interesting. I'd love to be as poor as her.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

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OH THE HUMANITY.

Christ Jack, you’re not doing well here. You really, really don’t have a clue what poverty is, do you? Poverty is not even being able to dream about owning a home. Ever.

How is she real? How is she not a character from a horrible TV show where you just can’t watch it because you might cringe yourself to death?

POORFISHING

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Lool “a street of detached houses very well spaced out” aka fuck off pov this is a Southend palace we’re talking about not a terrace

 

[bladiesla]

And she has no right to lead the Jackolites to draw incorrect conclusions about her Landlady's financial standing.

Her landlady must luuuuurve that her tenant with the mahoosive following is discussing financial details regarding her property....It really shows how Jack Monroe can't behave responsibly online. She never cares about creating pile ons.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Do you guys not have gangs of tree surgeons roaming your streets knocking on your door like Mormons? Honestly, I get it all the time. Can’t even take a bath without getting out three times to answer the door to those pesky tree surgeons trying to drum up some business.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

As someone who has no interest in (and tbh probably no chance of) ever owning property… how is a £440k mortgage for a single person in any way “security”? It seems to me - coming from a background where owning becomes a burden of maintenance costs on sub-par housing stock, subsequent remortgages to maintain leading to negative equity, and making it even scarier to lose your job because you’ll have no support from the state - that for a self-employed person with self-confessed problems managing money this is a huge amount of debt to have hanging over you for a few decades?

I’m definitely aware that for my friends whose parents gave them fat deposits, and who have good professional jobs and spouses with the same, and who will probably inherit and pay off their mortgages early, owning is ideal for them. But for me it’s a scary prospect of having a money pit that I’d have had to compromise on area to buy. It very much shows the background Jack has come from that she doesn’t consider the possibility that owning can go really horribly wrong as it has for e.g. my parents and some other relatives, who bought when they would have been better off renting.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Squiggs are pointing out her shit.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

She’s literally the Queen of Contradictions (lying..I mean lying):

I’m the best tennant - I don’t pay my rent on time
I’m too poor to buy a house - I can afford a half a million pound house
I don’t have any gardening equipment - I maintain the tree in my garden
I want to be out of this rental as soon as possible - I don’t want the landlady to cut my tenancy short
This place is a shithole - it’s the best house ever

 

[FrumpyCat]

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Landlady is probably talking to her friends saying 'I've written, she doesn't open her post. Ive, phoned, she doesn't answer her phone. I've emailed and texted, no response. I've even knocked on the door. i know she was in because I could hear nashing and wailing. At least I think it was her. I know she keeps animals.

It isn't like she ever pays her rent on time, and I heard she moans about the house on twitter. I only ever rented to her because her ex had such good references. If only I knew what I know now.

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But I thought Jack didn't answer the door?

 

[LennyBriscoe]

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Actual footage of me when Jack rolls out the “I can’t believe I haven’t drank today. Poor me, choosing to spend all my time on Twitter and having to deal with people who don’t want to blow smoke up my arse”

REMINDER: Jack, if you choose to pick up a drink, that’s on YOU. The 12-Step programme gives you the tools to deal with life on life’s terms. So if someone upsets you to the point you pick up, look at yourself.

 

[jenny2603]

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a pumble in the bin
Never knowing who to tweet to
When the tree came down
And I would've liked to know you
But I was just a ninny
Your Twitter burned out long before
Your legend ever did

Haunting new version of Candle in The Wind, from Sir Elton on this terrible day.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Accounts are still overdue

ON A BOOTSTRAP LIMITED overview - Find and update company information - GOV.UK

ON A BOOTSTRAP LIMITED - Free company information from Companies House including registered office address, filing history, accounts, annual return, officers, charges, business activity

find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk

Also still no update on the teemill money

 

[Boyo]

She has the 1 year sober before/after pic lined up and ready to go doesn't she? All about those lovely, lovely likes. In a few months' time when work's dried up again she'll do a piece about how she's been drinking along and then the cycle will begin again!

Here you go Jack. Another job done to help you out.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

TPO Jack is probably one of my least enjoyable Jacks (not hated like ED or sober Jack) but just WTAF Jack?

Trees have TPOs on them for valid reasons. A tenant can’t just whack one on because she/he/they want to keep the tree to post thirsty selfies underneath it.

Trees (generally) are felled for valid reasons. She won’t be privy to those because (even though this might be news to her) there are things that go on with the house that she doesn’t know about.

This whole Twitter thread is just another piece of evidence to show that everything revolves around Jack and she is sitting in that house blissfully unaware of her huge, bloated privilege. That tree might be causing problems for the landlord or another property. That wouldn’t even cross her mind. That tree might limit how easily the bungalow could sell. That wouldn’t cross her mind either. As long as Jack gets to keep “her tree” that’s all that matters in Jackland.

I cannot get over the fact she needs to save for 550k. That is an immense budget even for where she is living. I cannot comprehend it. She doesn’t need to spend that and the fact she does makes me feel that she thinks she is owed a lovely property worth that money. How many people will even live in half mill properties? Didn’t she think what saying that sounded like? If she has that to spare (or had it) where has it been going all these years?

Spoiler: Sobriety mentions

I am sorry to keep going on about this but the way she is building her days up to a year is just horrific. Is she expecting everyone on Twitter to clap because she has been building it up for the last month? Surely it will make those people who are a different stage of their journey feel bad because they haven’t got to day 356 or whatever? What happens when she gets to one year? Will that token make her feel like a different person? Will the days feel easier?

I am sorry for the long post. Was in a place yesterday that made me realise that she really is a horror sometimes .

 

[instacharlie]

Jack - You outed your own address ages ago when you stated what your back garden backs onto and by the description of your old, shabby, run down shell of a house that you have to rent! So if your landlord is opposite then yes, you've publicly outed the owner of your house.
Perhaps the poor woman didn't want all of her neighbours knowing that she owns 2 houses?? If nothing else you've told everyone on your street that the woman opposite owns it? I'd be livid if I was her.

 

[MancBee]

What happened to Jack's part time, minimum pay job that she managed to get at the rehab place? Never mentioned again and not one of her Twitter followers have noticed.

Did they sack her? Did she walk out? Did she just not turn up after a couple of days and no-one noticed? Was there no job in the first place and she just kept turning up until someone actually told her not to?

All very odd. Though that could be said about every part of her life.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

TPO Jack is probably one of my least enjoyable Jacks (not hated like ED or sober Jack) but just WTAF Jack?

Trees have TPOs on them for valid reasons. A tenant can’t just whack one on because she/he/they want to keep the tree to post thirsty selfies underneath it.

Trees (generally) are felled for valid reasons. She won’t be privy to those because (even though this might be news to her) there are things that go on with the house that she doesn’t know about.

This whole Twitter thread is just another piece of evidence to show that everything revolves around Jack and she is sitting in that house blissfully unaware of her huge, bloated privilege. That tree might be causing problems for the landlord or another property. That wouldn’t even cross her mind. That tree might limit how easily the bungalow could sell. That wouldn’t cross her mind either. As long as Jack gets to keep “her tree” that’s all that matters in Jackland.

I cannot get over the fact she needs to save for 550k. That is an immense budget even for where she is living. I cannot comprehend it. She doesn’t need to spend that and the fact she does makes me feel that she thinks she is owed a lovely property worth that money. How many people will even live in half mill properties? Didn’t she think what saying that sounded like? If she has that to spare (or had it) where has it been going all these years?

Spoiler: Sobriety mentions

I am sorry to keep going on about this but the way she is building her days up to a year is just horrific. Is she expecting everyone on Twitter to clap because she has been building it up for the last month? Surely it will make those people who are a different stage of their journey feel bad because they haven’t got to day 356 or whatever? What happens when she gets to one year? Will that token make her feel like a different person? Will the days feel easier?

I am sorry for the long post. Was in a place yesterday that made me realise that she really is a horror sometimes .

Spoiler: AA Birthdays

I remember counting the days after I stopped drinking the last time but I don’t think I got to 100. It wasn’t that it wasn’t significant, it was almost like I’d quietly accepted this new way of life and was just getting on with it.

By contrast, we had a fellow in our home group who counted the days for about two years, and would always say how many days they were at. Turns out they were white knuckling it and drank again. I wonder if part of their reason was thinking ‘if I tell everyone where I’m at, it’ll be easier to stay sober’. Sadly it doesn’t work like that.

I think AA birthdays are great. I feel it’s important for the newcomer to see that your ‘one day at a time’ can add up, and I always enjoy birthday shares. I have a number of fellows as Facebook friends and I find it interesting how many of them will post that it’s their AA birthday even when they’re 20, 15, 20 years down the line. Each to their own but I don’t talk about my sobriety on social media as I feel it’s a bit like fishing for compliments…that’s what I see in Jack’s posts. What is the motivation for telling half a million people that you’re in AA and almost a year sober? Is it really to raise awareness and help a still suffering alcoholic, or is it for kudos?

I can’t stress enough that I don’t want to offend anyone, these are just my views.