Jack Monroe #320 Guns N' Roses

[Ellabella]

I mean it can't be, but it really looks like a hot tub in the garden

 

[Amanda Lin]

It bore the price sticker of a nearby corner shop, it happened just after she mentioned that brand of soap on twitter. Two bars just appeared. She was thrilled. Lifelong stalker who lives round the corner must have been on holiday because she was not concerned about him at all.


Do you have a patreon? I’d like to give a small amount to fund your poetry.


Worst shag, marry, kill EVER

I do accept a few pennies here and there, but I insist you buy my poetry anthology and I then send it to people too poor to buy rhyming poetry books (with the reminder that a fair society would never allow this to happen)

 

[Pavlova]

Would you rather open your door to find soap, soup, or a copy of Good Food for Bad Days?

...or a For Sale sign
Edit to add: it's not a hot tub, it's a giant cauldron for cooking outdoor slop).

 

[Hollaaa]

To quote the parenting site...


Sex pond, sex pond,
It's a sex pond.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

I mean it can't be, but it really looks like a hot tub in the garden
View attachment 1322754

Oh no, bless you. That's a rusty bucket with a hole in. It only looks like a spenny hot tub because it's next to the softy, soft, soft, soft pink curtains.

 

[Funsizes]

Spoiler: TW eating disorder

Talking about forgetting to eat and not having hunger cues beyond being a lie is so triggering ughhh Jack if you have a history of ED you should know this just sounds like the humblebrag of a competitive anorexic and it's not pleasant to read
edit: hunger CUES not queues ffs

 

[jenny2603]

I mean it can't be, but it really looks like a hot tub in the garden
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It's a crate Harold built to contain the Pumble. Apparently Pumble was giving him the stink eye when he was having sexy time with Jack and he found it quite off putting.

 

[trueblue222]

She really has no concept of what is and what isn't appropriate to tweet on a platform of her size. She also knows she's out of order

 

[Ostapbender]

I mean it can't be, but it really looks like a hot tub in the garden
View attachment 1322754

Oh no no, it's the tin bath #poor

 

[HotesTilaire]

It could be that compost bin she built that time. With a big white rubber cover (like you get on a .....hot tub)

 

[SlopAmbsase]

See you Gunny, one of the weirder side characters in the extended universe of Jack's fibs x

Jack just wants to have a go on gunny!!

 

[BlendedSlop]

It could be that compost bin she built that time. With a big white rubber cover (like you get on a .....hot tub)

Or the incinerator she mentioned once in a random reply to a squig (why do I remember this tit?)

 

[GrannyOgg]

I mean it can't be, but it really looks like a hot tub in the garden
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She found it in a puddle where a dear friend had probably dropped it

 

[Jelly Bean]

View attachment 1322715

How did you know it was there?

Did the brambly mice and badgers not try to run off with your fictitious soup?

Ah but her dear friends know that an unexpected knock on the door makes smol pixie flee like a startled faun.
Maybe they gently, softly, carefully just whispered 'ssssooouuuuppp. Expensive sssooouupppp' through the letterbox.

 

[colouredlines]

At least the sandwich can't be sucked through a straw, making it the most solid thing Jack's eaten in months (apart from all the maize snacks).

 

[Veronicaaa]

Jack seems to think nectarines are a citrus fruit. Serious question - Is there anything she isn't wrong about?

 

[Pocahontas]

I mean it can't be, but it really looks like a hot tub in the garden
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Genuinely studied the boak sandwich for a few seconds, wondering ‘How am I missing its resemblance to a hot tub?’

 

[Mr Krabs]

Or the postman sniffing though the letterbox?

Nah, if anyone caught a whiff they’d be having the police round to break down the door. Lingering honk plus unkempt front garden and resident that never leaves the house? They’d have the battering ram out. Of course, the sight of Jack with her dirty hands in the cereal box is much scarier than finding an elderly corpse.

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

Spoiler: TW eating disorder

Talking about forgetting to eat and not having hunger cues beyond being a lie is so triggering ughhh Jack if you have a history of ED you should know this just sounds like the humblebrag of a competitive anorexic and it's not pleasant to read
edit: hunger CUES not queues ffs

Agreed. I thought the same about the “cheeky” cereal eating.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Nah, if anyone caught a whiff they’d be having the police round to break down the door. Lingering honk plus unkempt front garden and resident that never leaves the house? They’d have the battering ram out. Of course, the sight of Jack with her dirty hands in the cereal box is much scarier than finding an elderly corpse.

That’s what Big Dave uses the cannon for!