Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best

[ednaturnblad]

"People who are in poverty are extraordinarily organised, and budget to within an inch of their lives" says Jack. So they're not Jack's target market for shit recipes are they, as they already know what they're doing!
Why does she never do a set of recipes from the kind of parcel her local foodbank would be giving out? Have we ever seen ANYTHING higlighting her local foodbank such as tweets, videos, what they need that month etc?

As for the whole merail stuff, I don't think I've ever seen anyone constantly turn the narrative back on themselves so much. It's just so distracting. I went through some awful stuff 10 years ago, but no way do I keep bringing it up this many years down the line. It is possible to have a conversation about a subject without pushing your own story to the front each and every time.

In another 10 years time Jack will still be having the same conversations, tweeting the same old crap, and pushing the same old recipes because she hasn't learnt anything in the last 10 years.

Also sick of her ‘people on poverty are excellent at budgeting’ claims. Some aren’t. It’s not a case of poor = good, organised, and not poor = bad, frivolous.

It’s almost like you can’t make sweeping generalisations about an entire group of people.

Does Jack even know anyone who is poor these days? On a close, personal level?

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Also surely that thread is just proof she's successful off the back of the poors

Yup, the more people struggle, the more work Jack gets. That's a clear fact

Chuffed to get thread title, though I will selflessly donate my angel dentist prize to Jack, as my teeth are not manky and falling out my head

 

[NellieBoo]

Oh I thought she used her words with laser-like accuracy.

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Oh shut your mouth you absolute balloon. You know what words you used. You were the one saying you only had £19 in your bank account AND wanging on about living one rent cheque to the next .

 

[Emmapism]

I just don't understand how she thinks she's 'owning us' by repeatedly lying on Twitter. I mean, does that make you feel good? Is the only reason you tweet because of the reaction you get here?

That just sounds tragic to me. But sure, you're owning us

 

[BlendedSlop]

let’s play would you rather! would you rather:

a) be forced to wear a hairpin that continually escalates gremlin feelings
b) be a decaying butterfly stuck in a moment in time on a corkboard copulating with katie hopkins

c) have a voice of clipped velvet with a laugh never far behind

 

[Cucumberthunder]

OH is back. She's deffo reading here.

Also apparently security is one feature she was looking for...I wonder what was in spaces squigs box?!

 

[Dogmuck]

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Omg what magic is this? A TV that just miraculously works after over a year!
thanks for your clarity Jack, now will you stop wanging on about no telly and no internet?!! Nope didn’t think so. Twat!

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Jack Monroe doesn’t breadcrumb, she pebble dashes.

I hope you’re all getting my clever shit reference*

(*I know it’s not clever)

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Imagine everyone's surprise when she rolls up her sleeves, takes her glasses off, and reveals herself as ... SUPERSAVER.

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She really thinks her tattoos are some unique identifier, doesn't she?? You can't even see what most of them are, they lack so much definition.
Noone is paying attention to your shit tatts Jack.

 

[TbilisiPeach]

Private Eye has also got an interesting feature on corruption and cronyism in Jack's Labour and Lib Dem Southend-on-Sea Council. You know, the one she was singing the praises of. Allegations of fraud, breaches of contract procedures and procurement rules, etc. She's fucking clueless.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Jack can’t open a restaurant. The perfect name is already taken.

 

[Cack Conroe]

Or did changing her name distance herself from a family name that is associated with money perhaps?

Yes! What better way to reinvent yourself as a “scummy single mummy on the dole” than to get rid of your very distinctive name associated with your restaurant and guesthouse owning landlord grandad? And your very prominent Local Hero and senior fire service manager dad?

 

[Sideboard Bob]

 

[jenny2603]

I’m torn between grudging applause for the Regency-era elaboration of illness as groundwork for some forthcoming sickie, and disgust that her night with SB has to coincide with all sorts of ailments so her child likely feels compelled to take a protective role.

Your heart breaks for that boy. Imagine, that whining adult baby sitting there WEARING HIS CLOTHES, stealing food off his plate and droning on and on about her ailments.

 

[Hollaaa]

You know where you get free dentistry?

 

[FrumpyCat]

I was actually convinced Jack was RSM when Jack went on a rant saying “this is my story” when in fact it actually wasn’t. I thought she had logged into wrong acccount. I know she isn’t RSM but I like to amuse myself with it.

Bucket list news:

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So Harold has been told smol pixie can't move on to his sheltered housing. Or that's what he is telling Jack.

 

[Candytuft]

Fantasy or not, would she really move to a flat with lift access when she has Cooper ? Where would he play ? Room for a hutch ? .
She is absolutely horrible.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

 

[LennyBriscoe]

It feels like someone’s not giving her the attention shes’s looking for and she won’t stop trying.

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ETA

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She actually believes that she’s in the Famous Five does she? Teeth problems are not caused by mischief. Mischief in your world Jack would be scrumping apples, knocking on someone’s door and running away and hiding daddy’s glasses so he can’t read the paper.

Grow the fuck up! Softly, gently adult yourself!

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WHAT’S IN THE FUTHERMUCKING BOX?

“You really need to collect my package…” okay Mr Creeptismo, calm down. He can’t have been following Jack for long if he expected a different response to the one he’s got.

She needs to address this imo, even if that’s DM-ing him. I hope it wasn’t something edible, it’ll get up and walk out the box itself

 

[Mallerenga]

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Your joints, Jack? Weren't you crouching on your knees just last night?