Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best

[Cack Conroe]

Poor smol pixie couldn't possibly know something technical like that ...

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Plus a couple of other posts about scheduling recipe posts and the #thunderclapforcarers stuff

Jack hun, what is the point in lying that you don’t know how to schedule tweets? This is up there with “I don’t have a toaster” in utter pointlessness.

Fascinating psychology.

 

[NobblyBobbly]

She had a gander on Rightmove, that's not a house purchase falling through. What planet is she on?

 

[Sglodion]

I'm like a full thread behind, but I'm just popping in to say I honest to God found a discarded shopping list on my lunch break today and I swear the universe is trolling me. I would have taken a picture to prove it but I was with my colleague and she already thinks I'm mad. There was nothing interesting on it anyway, just dettol, pasta and some veg - you know, like what a normal person buys from the supermarket. Feel free to use this as inspiration for a short story but please be aware that my usual royalty fee is 344%.

 

[Clovis]

"chick pea goop"!!

 

[FrumpyCat]

Oh it was definitely a performance for us, and no doubt some for her exes too with the yielding to 'being loved and cared for' shite. If it was a rental she was going on about as she now claims, why would she be trying to arrange a viewing of a perfect dream home, when she can't leave the bungalow for another 6 months (allegedly)? She just comes out with streams of utter crap, and then gaslights people when they question it.

To believe she jackcidentally typed buy instead of rent means you would need to believe that 'rent a flat' was on Jack's bucket list.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Grunking, and channeling my inner @Geetbo, but I know what he can enter.

Is Geetbo going to become synonymous with rudery like Grunkalunka is with speed reading?? I keep using grunk IRL, if I say I’d geetbo him right up I’m definitely going to get Looks

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I don't think it would be in the public interest as squig suggested, for Jack to interview Boris and Rishi. It would however be in the interest of the canal. It would be comedy gold to watch Shitting Chihuahua Jack spring from giving it big balls on Twitter, to meekly stuttering out questions at them

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Reboot, Reboot
It’s time to TOOT TOOT!
Jack has got no money
But she’s got loadsa lovely loot

ETA Tom

 

[Veronicaaa]

Why does she keep doing this? I guess she's the type of person who finds farts humorous.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Wouldn't Chinese food be painful to eat if her mouth was in as bad state as she proclaims?

Is any part of her life not a lie?

 

[jenny2603]

People are responding with boring sandwich tweets again

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A "sabbatical" to the shops?????

 

[MistyWindows]

Jack: I wasn’t talking about buying, you blithering ninnies, I meant renting!
…So you were trying to sign a contact to rent when you’ve got half a year left where you are? good luck with that.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Absolute cheeky bitch.

estate agents are actually professionals and could lose their jobs by breaching confidentiality.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

ETA

 

[BlendedSlop]

What's it called when someone tells a lie, gets caught out and then attacks the person who called out the lie?

Jacklighting

 

[Mel Donte]

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What's wrong with living in a caravan? She's so shit at hiding what a snob she is.

 

[kachoochoo]

the telly lives! toot toot motherfuckers!

 

[blurstoftimes]

please say the tooth drama ends today the thoughts of crumbling rancid teeth is beginning to trigger my inner hypochondriac and making me chew very gently and softly just in case

also re: the creepy parcel guy. She’s handling it so badly, it shouldn’t have got to this point - why hasn’t she nipped this in the bud yet? She really has no sense of boundaries at all it’s very worrying, for example that she thinks there’s nothing wrong with saying she takes it upon herself to help suicidal strangers on twitter rather than immediately signposting them to the relevant place. Safeguarding nightmare! Hopefully it’s all lies.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

“Thumbed off the carcass”

.

That’s it. I’m off.

ETA- tell me you are a privileged POS without telling me you are a privileged POS.

 

[Orphan_Black]

How can she even be bothered to tweet such neverending shite?

It's not even Facetious Disorder, she knows she's lying. She just likes attention.

Her mummy was a nurse, her daddy saved people.....any armchair pysch can work out her base problem.