Jack Monroe #300 Fauxcialist

[YenE]

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Small mercies re the ASDA cake I suppose. Touch wood the McFlurry machine isn’t broken ey x

I do it all!! All yep all my own self - what a little superstar eh?

 

[Limey]

I’m glad you said this, I got the same gut feeling that Mammy is also prone to… overly identifying with her ailments.

I think they both value victimhood highly. I think Mammy also has genuine sympathy, but sometimes wants a piece of the pie herself, but Jack has dialled it up to 11 due to growing up into the modern middle-class oppression politics cult. She doesn’t have actual empathy for the suffering, she wants to be them so she can be more “valid”.

Post of the day!

Also, Happy 300 you ninnies.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Let's face it, if we learned that Jack walks around on all fours and sniffs crotches like an ill disciplined dog, none of us would be surprised.

Honestly, the more I think about it, I think it is SB dad. Laying my money on it, @DinosaurSenior what odds can I get on that?

 

[Clarends]

Sorry, I don't want to make this 'all about me' but for 300 could someone find the Downfall Vid I made.
I'm so inept I can't find it on here or remember where I made it.
I haven't watched it since and wondered if it had aged well.
Sorry.

I hope it's found it's very funny

 

[hollywood]

Same, but as a result I'm reeeeally slow so definitely couldn't handle working in a professional kitchen. Whenever I cook for my parents they joke that the food will be amazing but we won't be eating it til midnight.

I’m exactly the same. My family know whatever time I say it’s going be at least two hours after. We all like eating late anyway . A professional kitchen would end me .I hate the thought of people touching my food to display it and kitchens are so hot that brow sweat is going to be dripping . I get that there are standards to be maintained when people are paying a high price for food but the amount getting thrown in food waste bins because of minor issues always shocks me.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

She's back. And cooking.

Oh do fuck off
Sorry Manc

 

[Smeghead]

And all the chairs lined up

And someone declared it the best ever and she will be fit to burst from her amazing meal

 

[FunnyFuneral]

I was going to have a celebratory 300th thread BBQ. However the minute I finished building the bastard thing it clouded over. Needless to say fraus, I am in a fugue state.

Were the instructions in French, like when Homer built a BBQ? "LE GRILLE? ?? What the hell is that?" I'm sure it was a mighty fine looking barbeque, dear heart Geetbo

 

[Captainmouse]

She's back. And cooking. Slopping

FTFY

 

[rogueapostrophe]

The height of sophistication was Gino Ginelli ice cream. I liked all of them except the tutti frutti, which had sticky candy fruit pieces that stuck in your teeth.

What a blast from the past - used to love some Gino but agree that Tutti Frutti was rank!

 

[Wooh]

Ohmygod, so funny!

"I even refuse to borrow it officially" is the best!

Condensed soup. It says on the label to add a tin of water. She's so stupid it hurts me.

And once again, the author's note that it sounds bad, just trust her.

Monroeville: a funny place to stop, but you wouldn't want to live there

Happy 300th, all!

I hope OH is doing an Amber Heard and recording everything

Frau Lawyer: so you poured yourself a mega pint of slow cooker tea?

The Judge listening to the recording: all I can hear is maniacal laughter and hysterical weeping. Is that a knock on the door? Why are you howling, Mx Monroe?

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

Could this be because nothing existed in the first place?

More like cos she doesn’t know what a portion size is and they’re all starving

 

[WTFDidIJustSee]

I don't actually think there was anything wrong with her resigning if it didn't fit round SB like she said, and I don't think that alone would have been embarrassing for her dad, it's all the rest of the drama that apparently went along with it.

Plus by her own admission she had involved parents and SB's dad so in her specific situation I do think she could have avoided a lot of the problems she found herself having if she'd planned it better even if the arrangement wasn't sustainable long term. This is one of the most frustrating things about her to me that she had this massive safety net that most single parents in her position don't have yet she still thinks she had the toughest time anyone has ever had, and she's clearly aware she had it and how lucky that makes her because she actively lies in so many versions of the story to make out that she didn't have it.

That’s what I was attempting to say, by comparison, but didn’t phrase it properly because my Adderall is wearing off

Is that worms in a bap?

Looks like some of the parasites I studied in my final year, vom.

 

[Semi_literate_bot]

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Uh huh, that happened!

 

[TillyMiffin]

Cannelini fennel celery and herb SMOOSH. I. Just. Can’t.

Ford this means there will be actual separate components on a plate? Rather than a big ole’ slop?

 

[BananaSmith]

Is she going to bring out the empty chair photo again?

What a stupid brown nosing reply.
Cringing
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To the brown nosing reply ( not Grifty M)

 

[Captainmouse]

Hello! I've been lurking since near the beginning. I found Tattle because M***n*t told me it was a place of sin, so I came to check it out. JM was one of the few names I recognised - but I thought they were a good egg, from my Grauniad days. Soon I learnt they were inexplicable. Working from home in lockdown I enjoyed catching up on DKL commentaries. I'm very much a wallflower, but I've loved being an NPC in the last 300 threads, so I thought I'd say 'Hi' before I go back to anonymity. I'm a silent Frau, who's off for a piss and a sandwich. Thankyou.

Luv your avatar

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

That’s what I was attempting to say, by comparison, but didn’t phrase it properly because my Adderall is wearing off



Looks like some of the parasites I studied in my final year, vom.

I'm dosed up on hay fever medication because everyone in my immediate radius appears to have decided today is peak lawn mowing day so I am also not completely with it

 

[FlirtyThirty]

It would explain quite a few things tbh. He works in a shop too. Mithering ninnies we are!

Mm but the halcyon early days of dating? Is this now or back in the thank-you-for-saving-me-from-my-stalker-let’s-have-a-shag days??

 

[Ninch55]

IRL - your family didn’t know how good they have it, OH’s are going back for more

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No it wasn’t, didn’t happen, full of shit, be quiet.