Jack Monroe #300 Fauxcialist

[Onestorytoomany]

One of the best stories she tells us how she pretends that's she really this tough talking, .shin kicking, stick to the Boris type person, she reminds me of men who have small man syndrome. They would start a fight with their shadow only too feel hard, when in reality they piss their pants when someone actually says " let's go for it"

Even when she was apparently telling Edwina off she was a second away from balling her eyes out, where as Edwina was stoic and handing her arse back to her every few mins.

She is bascially a chihuahua, tiny,. Annoying as fuck and overly aggressive till properly challenged then the shaking and crying starts.

 

[Aquamarina]

We’ve been through so much on these threads. From Ham Crisps (remember her?) To “Sit down, I need to see fucking Redcar.” The incredible Thread 31 where Jack actually showed up, to “Terrible”, the Lingreenie This Morning #neverforgeteamonnsface and so many other memorable moments this middle aged frau is struggling to remember. Cheers to you mithering ninnies for the past few years of entertainment on Tattle. We’ve made it to 300!

 

[colouredlines]

Also her claim that a weekend in Venice has changed her entire cooking philosophy and she’s now going to use fewer ingredients as in classic Italian cuisine? Whilst it’s nice that she’s no longer going to recommend overengineered slop with a million and one wacky ingredients, the challenge with only using 4 /5 ingredients and really letting them sing is you need those ingredients to be of the finest quality and you need proper chef skills, or a real cultural heritage, to treat those ingredients properly to bring out the best in them. In the kindest possible way, this is not really Jack’s skill set.

I think what Jack fails to grasp is that an Italian dish might use four raw ingredients - say, tomatoes, garlic, olive oil, basil. Whereas Jack's idea of four ingredients would be a tin of stewed steak, a tin of spam, a packet of mixed veg (yellow sticker), and I dunno, some fucking maize snacks. Which...is not quite the same.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Discovered a great thread on MN called Jack Monroe and Matt Tebbutt BBC Kitchen Live.

some gems of comments on there

 

[Stickybeaker33]

I am always lurking because I never have anything interesting to say but HAPPY 300 I first felt sorry for Jack and it hit close to home because I’m almost the same age, have a similar age child and am a single mum. I have been so busy this past week moving into my “forever home” ( well I got a mortgage anyway). The home is very old and in a working class neighbourhood, so it wouldn’t suit lady muck. But I’ve been working bloody hard and I don’t have an OH whisking me to Venice. Oh and I did a degree in arts and studied some Italian as a mature age student and Italian Jack can fuck off. Her lies are so laughable. Questa donna è davvero una truffatrice. E lei è molto molto sporca e pigra. Stick that in google translate Jack

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I don’t like to @ people when they’re choosing to stay away but it’d be a real shame if @Silver Linings didn’t pop in to help us mark this momentous occasion. If Hi Ho had £1 for every screenshot they’ve posted over the last 300 threads, they’d be in that forever home in Thorpe Bay with an orangery, a tennis court and a swimming pool. And have money left over for a goat’s leg!

 

[colouredlines]

The hats are only on the Jack thread! Party time!!

 

[Sglodion]

I joined Tattle because my friend told me they had a thread about Mumsnet. I wanted to replace MN as my 'slow work day' forum of choice because this place seemed much nicer, but I've barely heard of any influencers and was complaining that Off Topic didn't get enough traffic to be a good substitute. Then I opened Bloggers and I think my exact words were "oh never mind, just seen they've got 284 threads about Jack Monroe - that should keep me busy for a while".

I used to go to my primary school friend's house once a week between the ages of about eight and twelve, and every single time without fail we each got half a Sainsbury's frozen margherita pizza and mint viennetta for lunch. (I didn't even know viennetta also came in non-mint flavours until well after I'd left home.) My friend always cut hers into four pieces, but I ate the whole semicircle without slicing because I thought it felt like there was more of it that way - her mum probably thought I was some kind of feral urchin who'd never encountered a pizza before. I LIVED for those lunches, they were the best

 

[NP]

Thread #300! Toot toot! I brought some corned beef for the buffet.

Spoiler: Ta-da!

 

[Calabria]

Big Dave's FB posts are a joy! He writes 'to whom it may concern ' posts about the most pointless and twatty things.
There was a recent one 'to express disappointment ' that roads on a new housing estate weren't named after local veterans and war heroes.
I'm guessing by the tone of it he wanted 'Hadjicostas Boulevard ' to be one.

He wants to rock down to Hadjicostas Avenue

 

[PoorPatrol]

How can she not cringe inside fucking out at saying ‘father in law’ and ‘other half’ after a few months dating???? Especially given her dreadful dating and relationships history. I feel sick for her, it’s so devastatingly cringe.

Must never forget to add, in amongst this perpetual cycle of new family, poor SB

 

[Thank(space)you]

s


True. I’ve had times when I’ve ran out of money and food - each time I’ve called my Grandparents who have rocked up an hour later with £50 and a weeks worth of food shopping.

That’s not happened for a decade now but I suspect it will happen again soon, the way things are going.

Swallowing my pride and asking for help so I can feed my kids doesn’t fucken bother me at all - cos, ya know, it’s not about me, is it?

And it’s not as if her entire family are Povs, they’re all wealthy and if they are the sort that would have done nothing to help, then, well… Words fail me.

Tbf, not everyone has that option. I asked my mum for £30 for a food shop the other month as my UC was underpaid & I couldn't afford food. She said no. She has over £100K in her bank.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[PoorPatrol]

View attachment 1253225

“I’m not desperate for it”
The canal:

 

[RevEd]

Interestingly (or not, I suppose) in Hebrew 300 is ש - Sheen (or Shin) - the 21st letter in the alphabet, meaning 'appointed time' or 'election.'

It is also connected with the name 'sheddai' for God and, semi-famously, the shape Is used as a blessing by Jewish priests...

Which is where Leonard Nimoy got his idea from for the Vulcan greeting in Star Trek, by just using one hand in the same shape.

Anyway. Congratulations on reaching 300 threads, canal. Bless you all.

 

[Pdawg]

Joining in with the delurking since it's a special occasion... Joined Tattle for the Pip Schofield drama and started reading Jack's thread as it was always the most liked. Feel like a voyeur as I didn't know who she was previously, but her antics are incredulous and frau/herrs knowledge and wit has seen me through a lot of insomnia. I've missed out on many a hat and the kumquat salon, so I didn't want to miss this one too. TOOT TOOT and happy 300!

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

The Vienettas are making me so happy but I'm going to sound like a maniac if I try to explain it IRL. Brava, and grazie, whoever came up with and then executed this!

I’ve just attempted that.

Everyone, do not attempt to explain vienettas on profile pics to anyone in your household. I got a big sigh, a big side eye and an “is this about that f****** person you are obsessed with again?”



ETA- I love the vienettas. We all know, we may be 242 threads behind Hinch, but we are .

 

[Brian Butterfield]

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Happy #300 everyone, I've got a hat to celebrate. It's not made of pigskin so it's not an investment piece but I think it's quite festive.

Can I just bring over from the last thread the shocking fact that @Toffee finger has given us, which is that Southend doesn't have wheelie bins. How the fuck did she see potatoes and greens rolling out of a hole in her neighbour's bin if they don't even have bins?

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Has Jack Monroe paid her taxes or donated the teemill money yet?