Jack Monroe #300 Fauxcialist

[moldwarp]

Just reading Jack's article about her alcoholism and this bit leapt out at me.

View attachment 1251471

Frauen, I am at the notion Jack requires a "private hideaway", like she'd be mobbed if she went somewhere else.Also hooting at the bar staff just plonking down her order without having to ask what she wants. I imagine them all whispering "it's Jack Monroe- yes THE Jack Monroe before scampering off to fetch something non alcoholic to support her sobriety.

I mean, this is extremely narcissistic. The idea that a book launch, traditionally an excellent excuse for a piss up, would make all its refreshments teetotal…and the idea that the staff at the Groucho, who see real celebs on the daily and doubtless take no tit, would fall over themselves to see to Jacks every comfort and protect her precious smol pixie sobriety, is just…pfftff.

meanwhile here on planet earth, us normie recovering allies have to accept that other people drink and don’t give a tit about our sTrUgGLeS. We have to learn to navigate a world with alcohol in it without falling over and having a tantrum every five minutes.

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

I don’t get that? Can a clever Frau explain it?

Spoiler: Sorry not sorry (Readingismyhobby)

Don’t worry! It took me a minute or seven - put a comma in between up and stairs

“What’s up, stairs?”

“Unfortunately the stairs don’t talk”

 

[WTFDidIJustSee]

An addict who’s relapsed goes to extreme lengths to obtain booze and hide the evidence of it <bitter experience that I won’t go into> they sure as tit don’t do stuff like that.

Spoiler: ND rants

A lot of women are diagnosed with NDs very late, my local NHS service has a brand new service that’s set up to assess and treat 500 patients per year and is currently getting 500 referrals per month and they are desperately applying for more funding and advertising more jobs.

But what galls me, as I’ve said before, is the super power bollocks. I mean - I can’t be certain if the only reason I handled 3 kids alone whilst doing University is because I have ADHD, or if I handled it despite having ADHD.

And me saying to people “If I did it, so can you, it’s a superpower” is just bleeping ridiculous, patronising and awful.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Sorry, I don't want to make this 'all about me' but for 300 could someone find the Downfall Vid I made.
I'm so inept I can't find it on here or remember where I made it.
I haven't watched it since and wondered if it had aged well.
Sorry.

 

[humpty.]

In honour of the big 300 I’m finally watching the DKL and 10 mins in she’s said “now you’ve stopped talking” to Matt who was asking her what’s going into the recipe. She is so rude, her hair looks lovely, but so fecking rude. Please learn some manners and maybe a touch of kindness.

 

[maytoseptember]

I mean, this is extremely narcissistic. The idea that a book launch, traditionally an excellent excuse for a piss up, would make all its refreshments teetotal…

A friend’s book launch too, not Jack’s

(I mean, have any of Jack’s book launches ever warranted a party?!)

Reminds me of an ex-friend, someone who (I later realised) ticks more than a few compensatory narc boxes herself. She requested that, if she attended my hen do, could people please not drink because she was pregnant and would have to stay sober.

 

[WTFDidIJustSee]

I mean, this is extremely narcissistic. The idea that a book launch, traditionally an excellent excuse for a piss up, would make all its refreshments teetotal…and the idea that the staff at the Groucho, who see real celebs on the daily and doubtless take no tit, would fall over themselves to see to Jacks every comfort and protect her precious smol pixie sobriety, is just…pfftff.

meanwhile here on planet earth, us normie recovering allies have to accept that other people drink and don’t give a tit about our sTrUgGLeS. We have to learn to navigate a world with alcohol in it without falling over and having a tantrum every five minutes.

Exactly this. I’m not an addict, but…

Spoiler: “Addiction Rant”

… My mother, Step Dadand my abusive ex are. So many of us have made so many sacrifices and allowances in attempts to help them, although I don’t any more and haven’t got a long time because I’m the only one that doesn’t have a Saviour Complex and I long accepted that I have zero control or influence over anyone’s recovery, or not.

Step Dad has spent his entire life an addict, won’t accept he is one, because “But I work. Every day. In a highly skilled job. I pay all my bills.” And so on and so forth. He’s in his 60s now and frankly I’m shocked he’s still alive. My half siblings are 12 years younger than me and I spent my teen years terrified that he would die before they had any memories of him at all.

The only reason he’s only tanking 2 bottles of wine per night in the week now rather than 5-6 is because it makes him violently ill to drink more, and I’ve never been able to keep track of his weekend drinking.

Mother - no clue, she was abusive my entire childhood so she is not a part of my life. She divorced Step Dad years ago.

I don’t see him often - once or twice a year when one of my gang of siblings manages to organise and coordinate a meet up, he looks worse.

Ex - abusive, restraining order, no contact family court order, thank duck.

My brother is the only sober one. 7 years and counting. He is an entirely different person to when he was using and Holy duck he works 24/7 to maintain sobriety. He refers to this quote from Elementary TV show with Johnny Lee Miller all the time -

Sherlock Holmes : If you must know, Watson, I've been feeling a little bit down of late. It's the process of maintaining my sobriety. It's repetitive. And it's relentless. And above all, it's tedious. When I left rehab, I... I accepted your influence, I committed to my recovery. And now, two years in, I find myself asking, 'is this it?' My sobriety is simply a grind. It's just this leaky faucet that requires constant maintenance, and in return offers only not to drip.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Welcome dear heart, sorry to have left an angry emoji but

Exhibit A “my parents were not well off”

View attachment 1251495

Exhibit B

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The home address will be worth over half a mil too

Yes, but it was all that money they saved on cheddar over the years, that paid for their extension on the house.

 

[Semi_literate_bot]

In honour of the big 300 I’m finally watching the DKL and 10 mins in she’s said “now you’ve stopped talking” to Matt who was asking her what’s going into the recipe. She is so rude, her hair looks lovely, but so fecking rude. Please learn some manners and maybe a touch of kindness.

I've gone back in for some more as well this morning as well as sadly woke up thinking about it. That 'now you've stopped talking' bit was atrocious, as well as her snarking about arborio rice.

Also particularly hate the way she keeps saying that she doesn't enjoy it and can't wait not to have to cook live again And to think she wanted her own show!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Just reading Jack's article about her alcoholism and this bit leapt out at me.

View attachment 1251471

Frauen, I am at the notion Jack requires a "private hideaway", like she'd be mobbed if she went somewhere else.Also hooting at the bar staff just plonking down her order without having to ask what she wants. I imagine them all whispering "it's Jack Monroe- yes THE Jack Monroe before scampering off to fetch something non alcoholic to support her sobriety.

Looool she’s vastly overestimating the ~exclusivity~ of the Groucho as it’s very much not private at all! They rent space out to literally anyone, theres an area that’s basically a wework for big meeting rooms, there was a point I was there semi regularly for work meetings and in the proper guest areas I never saw anyone female or under the age of 50, it truly is for the Brit pop era coke head? Only saw a few tit older comedians in terms of celebs. Interiors wise it’s pretty blah, tiny toilet upstairs felt like a hovel maybe they give the glistening STARLETS access to posher ones tho, have been to more aspirational Zizzis tbh.

They used to give out tote bags to non members, I had a few I kept in my car for shopping but since these threads did got rid but I can’t imagine Annabel’s would be giving 20 something schmucks totes? Like they’re not desperate?

 

[Grizzlybear]

@heretoreaditall2019 omg completely! Like another poster said, she writes through the wrong lens? I think anyone who lives and works in London realises what a ball of nonsense everything she describes is. Almost like she takes a seed and thinks “yeah THAT will impress them” and runs away with herself - not thinking for one second us plebs will ever be in a position to peep through the window like urchins into her glitzy life!

 

[TbilisiPeach]

Yes, but it was all that money they saved on cheddar over the years, that paid for their extension on the house.

Cheddar was the avocado of the 90s.

Just read the mumsnet thread and found myself on there. I'd completely forgotten. The mention of Tattle on that thread led me here and I haven't been on MN since.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Perhaps it’s just mean of me, but I just don‘t believe her about the note in the passport thing. I just don‘t think she’d be ID’d, covered in tats Etc. And if you really wanted a drink, you just wouldn’t use a passport with a note in it saying you’re an alcoholic. Besides, there’ll be another shop on the same road most likely, so this strategy just wouldn’t work. On the other hand, it is very attention seeking behavior, so maybe she did really do it.

Spoiler: Booze/Addiction Stuff

I can't speak for Jack, or indeed all former/current addicts but when I was bad with the drink, it wouldn't have stopped me. I'd have convinced myself it was just this once and taken the note out, or not even taken my passport because if it's your local shop you eventually won't get asked for ID and you stop giving a tit because they aren't daft. I do have (genuine, ladydoctor-diagnosed) OCD though which did not help matters in that respect. I rarely drink these days but I've been addicted to other stuff and still struggle a tiny bit with one particular substance and I feel like Jack's whole note thing was probably performative, or a lie, and inspired by that whole bit where you can get yourself barred from bookies. And I feel tit for saying all that but I've known some addicts in my time and don't know anyone the passport trick would work on. I can see her getting asked for ID on occasion though, I have visible (tit) tatts and definitely don't look my age and I still get caught by the challenge 25 thing in my local shop if there's a new person working there, even if I'm in my damn work gear. I never have my passport to hand and they are always so confused when you tell them it's ok and you'll just leave the booze so I just get my beers when I know the usual crowd are working cos I've lived here ten years nearly

Has she not done us a thread 300 chaos yet? I avoid her Twitter in general because she's a dick and it's far better to get the updates tit-sandwich style here where you get the hilarious cable comments too

 

[WTFDidIJustSee]

Cheddar was the avocado of the 90s.

Just read the mumsnet thread and found myself on there. I'd completely forgotten. The mention of Tattle on that thread led me here and I haven't been on MN since.

I left MN last year due to them doing duck all about the constant stream of ableism, racism and victim blaming of women in abusive relationships. I could not stand that place any longer and found Tattle not long after, thank duck.

Spoiler: Booze/Addiction Stuff

I can't speak for Jack, or indeed all former/current addicts but when I was bad with the drink, it wouldn't have stopped me. I'd have convinced myself it was just this once and taken the note out, or not even taken my passport because if it's your local shop you eventually won't get asked for ID and you stop giving a tit because they aren't daft. I do have (genuine, ladydoctor-diagnosed) OCD though which did not help matters in that respect. I rarely drink these days but I've been addicted to other stuff and still struggle a tiny bit with one particular substance and I feel like Jack's whole note thing was probably performative, or a lie, and inspired by that whole bit where you can get yourself barred from bookies. And I feel tit for saying all that but I've known some addicts in my time and don't know anyone the passport trick would work on. I can see her getting asked for ID on occasion though, I have visible (tit) tatts and definitely don't look my age and I still get caught by the challenge 25 thing in my local shop if there's a new person working there, even if I'm in my damn work gear. I never have my passport to hand and they are always so confused when you tell them it's ok and you'll just leave the booze so I just get my beers when I know the usual crowd are working cos I've lived here ten years nearly

Has she not done us a thread 300 chaos yet? I avoid her Twitter in general because she's a dick and it's far better to get the updates tit-sandwich style here where you get the hilarious cable comments too

Spoiler: “Random chatter in response”

I am constantly asked for ID, I’m in my late 30s. Last week, a charity door knocker asked me “Is your Mum home?” When I answered the door. duck me, I haven’t lived at home since I was 16, and why the casual sexism in assuming the female parent would be home I have piercings and multiple, visible tattoos (most are amazing and the tit ones are due to be covered)

I mean, if anyone looked in my medication safe, it has multiple controlled drugs in it (hence having a safe cos kids) and could infer I’m an addict, but they’re all Psych prescribed therefore legal and yes I do rely on them or I can’t function so I suppose there’s not much difference in addiction/dependence?

 

[jenny2603]

I mean, this is extremely narcissistic. The idea that a book launch, traditionally an excellent excuse for a piss up, would make all its refreshments teetotal…and the idea that the staff at the Groucho, who see real celebs on the daily and doubtless take no tit, would fall over themselves to see to Jacks every comfort and protect her precious smol pixie sobriety, is just…pfftff.

meanwhile here on planet earth, us normie recovering allies have to accept that other people drink and don’t give a tit about our sTrUgGLeS. We have to learn to navigate a world with alcohol in it without falling over and having a tantrum every five minutes.

The other bit that made me hoot in the article was the sponsor* saying "just go to the meetings, you don't need to tell everyone you meet that you're an alcoholic." It just conjured up images of Jack signing for a parcel and announcing to the delivery guy that "it's not booze, you know for I, Jack Monroe, am an alcoholic" or overhearing complete strangers talking about a nice bottle of wine and barging in with tales of her booze hell.

*Should add that if Jacks allegations about the sponsor are true they'd be better addressing their own awful behaviour than dishing out advice.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Yes, but it was all that money they saved on cheddar over the years, that paid for their extension on the house.

I mean, my mum probably wouldn't have liked it if she thought she had something in the fridge, only to find I'd hacked large bits of it out myself for a 'snack' - and she didn't have a whole load of mouths to feed, like Jack's mum with the 'revolving door' of foster children (who would doubtless never have had the nerve to just help themselves to the contents of the fridge).

 

[bowiethesdmn]

I left MN last year due to them doing duck all about the constant stream of ableism, racism and victim blaming of women in abusive relationships. I could not stand that place any longer and found Tattle not long after, thank duck.

Spoiler: “Random chatter in response”

I am constantly asked for ID, I’m in my late 30s. Last week, a charity door knocker asked me “Is your Mum home?” When I answered the door. duck me, I haven’t lived at home since I was 16, and why the casual sexism in assuming the female parent would be home I have piercings and multiple, visible tattoos (most are amazing and the tit ones are due to be covered)

I mean, if anyone looked in my medication safe, it has multiple controlled drugs in it (hence having a safe cos kids) and could infer I’m an addict, but they’re all Psych prescribed therefore legal and yes I do rely on them or I can’t function so I suppose there’s not much difference in addiction/dependence?

Spoiler: Random Chatter Response

Re: your last point there, I've been thinking along the same lines recently. All about social acceptability in many peoples eyes (not mine) but I've struggled more with some legally prescribed and legitimately used stuff than I have the recreational drugs, especially recently. I also see at work the judgment that can follow and occasionally deter people who are prescribed controlled meds like that legitimately, such as yourself

 

[Wooh]

I've been celebrating 300 today by having a little nosy through tin can cook. I am a library frau so I do not have to buy it. I even refuse to borrow it officially. And by the way in very very many years of being a library frau I can count the times on one hand I've seen any of Jack's books on the return trolley.

Anyway I was reading this little delight where she waters down a tin of mushroom soup with 2 of water and I suddenly realised she did not know her mum used Campbells condensed soup. Oh my god can you imagine the flavour of that monstrosity swimming in 2 cans of water?


I had to get viennetta to recover from the thought.

Ohmygod, so funny!

"I even refuse to borrow it officially" is the best!

Condensed soup. It says on the label to add a tin of water. She's so stupid it hurts me.

And once again, the author's note that it sounds bad, just trust her.

Monroeville: a funny place to stop, but you wouldn't want to live there

Happy 300th, all!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

@heretoreaditall2019 omg completely! Like another poster said, she writes through the wrong lens? I think anyone who lives and works in London realises what a ball of nonsense everything she describes is. Almost like she takes a seed and thinks “yeah THAT will impress them” and runs away with herself - not thinking for one second us plebs will ever be in a position to peep through the window like urchins into her glitzy life!

It’s in a discreet building but I wouldn’t say it’s in a nice area at all There are far nicer and stricter entry checks/no phones MO clubs that let us peasant +1s in, so there must be far better real celeb hangouts where it’s truly just members only? We looked up membership on these threads before and it’s also one of the less expensive ones.

The BAFTA building has a bar, idk the mechanics of getting into that (again was there for work) but that was the most densely packed quality celeb (actors/actresses) space I’ve seen in London? Maybe she could find a new missus there?

 

[Clarends]

Sorry, I don't want to make this 'all about me' but for 300 could someone find the Downfall Vid I made.
I'm so inept I can't find it on here or remember where I made it.
I haven't watched it since and wondered if it had aged well.
Sorry.

I hope it's found it's very funny