Jack Monroe #297 I'm not a natural tax payer.

[Sglodion]

Grunking, but do we have any updates on the unboxing of the miniature giant space P*mble yet?

We do not. I think it's been ejected from the airlock

 

[Veronicaaa]

Quisling was a Nazi collaborator. I mean she's bad but not Nazi level bad!

You know she would though.

 

[Mr Krabs]

The more Jack slags off Jamie the more I like him. Actually I saw this video he made maybe around 18 months ago when he was talking about poverty and food and I’ll tell you something. The research he did was far more impressive than anything I’ve seen Jack Monroe churn out. Plus he spoke like he really cared.

I remember a show where he went to the homes of people in food poverty and taught them how to cook simple recipes. Could literally not imagine her stepping into a council tower block to make her peach and boredom curry without a look of sheer horror.

 

[Cookiecookie]

View attachment 1235256
Yep, just do that luv. Barrel scrapings will be preferable to the Ch****** and P**** curry.

I'll just pop this here. It will be appropriate some time soon.

View attachment 1235267

When does Jack use fresh chicken, and not rinsed out of a tin chicken? These squigs are hopeless.

 

[Veronicaaa]

"I won't rest until Jack is crowned king of England by divine right Anyone who objected to King Jack would go straight to the Tower "

Honestly, saw one the other day saying something along the lines of 'if you only had 100 spaces in your post apocalyptic bunker/spaceship this make Jack a must' and it's like - you'd take that bleep over literally anyone else? Well good luck to you, bon voyage! Dickheads. Psychopaths!

 

[Hollaaa]

I was trying to think of a worse combo than peach and chickpea curry, and came up with Billy Bear and rinsed bean casserole, all boiled together with an expired chicken stock cube.

 

[trueblue222]

I remember a show where he went to the homes of people in food poverty and taught them how to cook simple recipes. Could literally not imagine her stepping into a council tower block to make her peach and boredom curry without a look of sheer horror.

Does anyone remember when the inverted snob Monroe started talking about single mums in a tower block with a broken lift?

For context. I’ve lived in flats but she just gets on my nerves when she starts wanging on about single parents in tower blocks.

My mum was a single parent and we lived in a studio flat. Like a tenement but we didn’t have a separate bedroom. Then we moved into a terraced council house. I live in a council flat just now. Point I’m making is that there’s all sorts of social housing but Jack seems to think all single mums live in tower blocks. she’s an idiot who likes stereotyping people

Clueless. A lot of council /social housing is actually really nice. And tbh. There’s nothing wrong with towers either in my view. As long as the housing is fit for habitation which to be fair in my area it is.

 

[Hollaaa]

Honestly, saw one the other day saying something along the lines of 'if you only had 100 spaces in your post apocalyptic bunker/spaceship this make Jack a must' and it's like - you'd take that bleep over literally anyone else? Well good luck to you, bon voyage! Dickheads. Psychopaths!

Hahaha, off you pop, straight into space. Watch out for the surface of the sun!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

bon voyage! Dickheads.

Up there with “Kumbayah motherfuckers”.

 

[trueblue222]

Up there with “Kumbayah motherfuckers”.

And ... yer maw

Scottish fraus will get it

Plus. Did ye.... aye?

 

[Awful]

Me waiting for Jack to do A Chaos seeing as she's gone radio silent for four days now

Also did she get hair inspo from the mad fish Michael Fabricant?

 

[Sideboard Bob]

She hath tweeted.

 

[Awful]

She's like bloody Mary only you stand next to a sideboard and chant sloppy pumble three times to make her appear behind you holding a nutribullet

 

[usefullyuseless]

She hath tweeted.

View attachment 1236031

Very finely sliced chicken breast sounds absolutely vile

 

[Hollaaa]

She hath tweeted.

View attachment 1236031

 

[BlendedSlop]

Me waiting for Jack to do A Chaos seeing as she's gone radio silent for four days now

View attachment 1236023

Babe, same.

Come on Jack, make some slop. Post a homemade crafting video making a walking stick out of a goat's leg for your #arthritisfam. Share your reaction to the mystery package unboxing (you can even put the comic filter on for old times' sake). Anything!

 

[trueblue222]

Her hair is dreadful. You know for someone some people think is attractive I don’t think she’s ever had a decent hairdo. Not once. Not ever.

The orange fright wig. The mad rats rail. Even when she grew it it looked odd on her. She doesn’t suit long hair in my view. And the current Toni and Guy grown out frump disaster

I currently dye my hair with Poundland hair dye and I cut my own hair (it’s long). But it looks ten times better than hers. Seriously I honestly don’t think she’s had one haircut that’s flattered her in the last decade. Not one.

 

[HotesTilaire]

ewwww guest appearance from ickle wickle humble brag Jack for the first tweet in days. I wish people would stop trying to help Jack in some small, monthly patreon money-for-nothing way.

 

[BubbleDuck]

Honestly, saw one the other day saying something along the lines of 'if you only had 100 spaces in your post apocalyptic bunker/spaceship this make Jack a must' and it's like - you'd take that bleep over literally anyone else? Well good luck to you, bon voyage! Dickheads. Psychopaths!

Can you imagine when it came to the first mealtime .
chief idiot - thankfully Jack Monroe , expert of tin can budget cookery is one of our chosen few and will be cooking this evening meal . Jack , we took the liberty of using your forensic shopping lists and meal plans to plan our food reserves, so all the ingredients you need for your delicious 13p meal for 96 people are in this box .

Jack - this is literally my life’s work so just show me where the stock cupboard is and I will get started once I’ve had a dino nap

Chief idiot-

Jack-

Chief idiot- we don’t have a stock cupboard. We did had a few crates of freeze dried Charlie Bighams just in case that would have fed us all for the next decade but your agent had us replace it with * checks notes* 2 sideboards, a box of hats and an Emin .

Jack- why are you being so mean to me! Poor people deserve nice things too you know ! I’m not attending this argument, I’m off for a piss and a sandwich!

 

[Hollaaa]

It would be like this, but without any potatoes.