Jack Monroe #297 I'm not a natural tax payer.

[HansThatDoDishes]

This 100 hour week bollocks is just SO ridiculous. 16 consecutive weeks, which also include her yomping around a holiday cottage, Kickyball games in Liverpool, being whisked off for lunch repeatedly, tweeting ALL day, spending all day at Asda, doing the school run, listening to podcasts with OH, watching TV at his, and being in bed every night by 10pm with all the power off. How many hours are there in a Jackday?

All of the above are work tho according to are Jackie

 

[trueblue222]

She didn’t tweet as she probably hasn’t got roaming on her phone

She’s a tight arse as it’s two quid a day with EE and still free with some other providers

 

[L3moning]

This is my favourite clarification since, “Owen Jones, who is not a murderer”.

This reminded me, as a few things do, of the Discworld novel The Truth, specifically when they are still getting the hang of headlines, and add something to the effect of "he had the knife, not the victim" at the end of a headline.

 

[L3moning]

She says her rent is around 1500 quid a month

Not counting the amounts I pay off my credit card (and maybe being a bit generous on what I spend on food, because I definitely don't stick to my budget on that) that comes to more than my total monthly bills.

 

[Switchstreetz]

I meant this one but you are right!
Is it Ruby Rose? @Atruck I think you are right.

My bad, I'm talking about the topless photo! I know she's a bit of a shapeshifter but that photo is DEFINITELY not our malevolent pumble queen

ETA @JombleWomble I noticed one of the "I eggs" pieces made it into an episode of Trigger Point

 

[FlirtyThirty]

"I won't rest until Jack is crowned king of England by divine right Anyone who objected to King Jack would go straight to the Tower "

KingQueen Jack.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

i can’t believe we are going to be treated to jack’s primary school assembly solo singing again…and with the new cherie blair ‘do! a reminder as to what to expect for the newbies:

Is that her son at the front?

 

[trueblue222]

Pretty niche has just ended me

Just to say I’m exactly the same height as Jack and this is currently giving me the rage

Not that I mind being a short arse. I’m just short of five foot two and so is that twat

 

[FrumpyCat]

On Boris.

Boris may be talking out if his arse again, but if Jack really thinks spending on benefits is only a tiny amount of government spending, she us even more ignorant about politics than I thought she was.

Although no doubt Jack will come out with some spurious statistics thst someone tweeted her.

 

[Captainmouse]

Spoiler: Vaccinations

.
All travellers
From 1 May travellers will no longer be required to complete a passenger locator form (EU PLF) to enter or travel through Italy as a visitor.

Until 30 May, all travellers, aged 6 and over, must show one of the following:

• proof of vaccination OR
• evidence of a negative PCR test taken within 72 hours before entering Italy or a negative rapid lateral flow test taken within the 48 hours before entering Italy OR
• a COVID-19 recovery certificate, certifying that you have recovered from COVID-19 in the last 6 months

If you cannot present evidence of vaccination OR a negative test OR a COVID-19 recovery certificate, you will need to:

• travel to your final destination in Italy by private transport
• remain in self-isolation for 5 days
• take another PCR or rapid lateral flow test at the end of the 5 days’ self-isolation. If the test is negative, you can leave self-isolation

All passengers entering Italy by plane, ferry, train or coach must wear an FFP2 mask in order to enter the country.

Further information on entry requirements from the UK and other countries can be found on the Ministry of Health website and the Italian Government’s online questionnaire.

If you’re fully vaccinated
If you travel from the UK and can demonstrate that you’re fully vaccinated, you can enter Italy without the need to self-isolate.

Proof of vaccination status
You can use the UK’s proof of COVID-19 recovery and vaccination record to demonstrate your vaccination record when entering Italy. Your NHS appointment card from vaccination centres is not designed to be used as proof of vaccination and should not be used to demonstrate your vaccination status.

At least 14 days must have passed since your second dose of the vaccine (or one dose of a single-dose vaccine) before arrival in Italy. Your date(s) of vaccination must be specified and you need to have had a vaccine approved by the European Medicines Agency.

Travellers arriving from the UK can enter Italy with either:

• a primary vaccination certificate (for entry into Italy, this is valid for 270 days from the date of the last dose for those who have had a full course of vaccines (both doses of a two-dose vaccine or one dose of a one-dose vaccine) or valid indefinitely for those who have had a full course plus a booster dose), or
• a recovery certificate which is valid for 180 days from the date of the first positive test.

For information on how to use your certificates (known locally as Green Pass and Super Green Pass) in Italy, see the ‘Coronavirus’ page and ‘Public spaces and services’ section.

If you completed the primary vaccination cycle (both doses of a two-dose vaccine or one dose of a one-dose vaccine) more than 270 days ago, you are not considered fully vaccinated and must comply with the requirements in the ‘If you’re not fully vaccinated’ section below.

Find out if you qualify as fully vaccinated in Italy on the Ministry of Health website.

If you’re not fully vaccinated
If you’re not fully vaccinated, exempt from vaccination, or you cannot demonstrate that you’re fully vaccinated, to enter Italy from the UK you must show either:

• evidence of a negative PCR taken within 72 hours before entering Italy or a negative rapid lateral flow test taken within the 48 hours before entering Italy OR
• a COVID-19 recovery certificate, certifying that you have recovered from COVID-19 in the last 6 months

If you cannot present evidence of vaccination OR a negative test OR a COVID-19 recovery certificate, you will need to:

• travel to your final destination in Italy by private transport
• remain in self-isolation for 5 days
• take another PCR or rapid lateral flow test at the end of the 5 days’ self-isolation. If the test is negative, you can leave self-isolation

If you’ve had COVID-19 in the past year
If you’re travelling to Italy you can use the UK’s proof of COVID-19 recovery record, certifying that you have recovered from COVID-19 in the last 6 months. In Italy the UK COVID Pass (Digital) is considered equivalent to the Super Green Pass and is considered valid for 180 days from the last dose of the vaccine OR for 180 days from the date of the first positive test.

 

[FrumpyCat]

I’ve been known to fling spinach in a pan of spaghetti for a couple of minutes before the spaghetti is cooked but I’m not trying to make a living out of being a cook. How she can call that a recipe is beyond me. Mushroom spaghetti spinach and onion?

If the pan you are using is small maybe ?

But the pan size is irrelevant- you just feed the pasta in as it softens. It takes no more time.

 

[Arsov Cooper]

Because Hugh played the PM in Love Actually and he was a good PM in that so he should be a good PM in reality. #squiglogic

Disclaimer: I've never seen Love Actually so I've no idea what type of PM he was or if the film even touched on what his stance was on food poverty

Tbf, that sort of thing has played out well in Ukraine [serious]. So when everything goes tits up in the 'coming soon' Western Europe theatre of war, perhaps Hugh will save the day [tasteless joke].

 

[Cookiecookie]

Maybe she can't.

True. For whatever reason, she doesn't have custody, and interactions often seem supervised.

 

[trueblue222]

I was going to make an "are you Jack??" joke because you mentioned not having a TV, but then I noticed your username and we all know that the biggest LFC fan ever wouldn't dream of labelling herself a blue

I’m actually not an Everton fan as it happens . But I do like football and I once had an Everton top (long story). I’m actually gripped right now as to whether Everton will or won’t get relegated.

Ive also been to a few hundred more games than she has. Don’t ask me why it made me laugh a lot when she proclaimed to be Liverpool’s bestest fan ever. It was just hilarious.

I actually know a footballer (to my shame I don’t know who he’s playing for just now). He’s from Liverpool and he came up through the ranks with Everton but he’s a Liverpool fan. Saw him today in the passing

(happens a lot to be fair. Footballers playing for teams they don’t support).

Btw on the subject of Jack. She doesn’t need to fanny around with cables and fire sticks. I’ve got an unlimited data plan on my mobile and that’s all you need to watch TV on your phone

She also mentioned that she wanted to watch eastenders. She can’t do that unless she buys a tv licence. You can’t watch bbc on catch up unless you have one.

 

[bignose28]

… ‘they are good peoples’ …

Given recent Frau discussions and Jack’s incapacity for anything but forensic granular accuracy, I’m reading this as OH is a ‘they’ in the DID sense.

 

[EllaEm87]

So I'm watching Made in Chelsea and have been getting a bit fed up with it and considering stopping watching. But suddenly they've drawn me back in with a dramatic scene that's taking place in THE ORANGERY! These threads are haunting me

James made me laugh “in the orangery!” Like it was awful that she propose there a opposed to, I don’t know, committing murder.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Hooray, a new word for the Jacktionary! A smorgasbord of amused and furious ffs.

I've been approached multiple times by security in shops for wearing hats with a peak because they think that I am a young (male) rapscallion up to no good. Every time it happens I howl and claw. I am a peripatetic cacophony of enraged and elated. My feet perform an exquisite cavalcade of shin kicks and I scream 'I AM A MATURE ADULT WOMAN YOU NINNY' and then I somersault out of the shop leaving the security guards with the lingering screech of 'TOOT TOOT' ringing in their mendacious ears.

Splendid!

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

On Boris.

 

[Sglodion]

Could anyone share the thread where Jack was in a fugue state? While she's quiet I can work my way through the archives.

Doing links on my phone is a pain but there's a screenshot of the 'fugue state' tweet on thread 164, page 12.

 

[Captainmouse]

I wonder of her next Collab will be on toilet paper. I mean she must use yards of it daily with her erm... Cooking escapades.

Nope, not in the Asda shop, no toilet roll