Jack Monroe #297 I'm not a natural tax payer.

[trueblue222]

Tbh it’s possible she has her son most of the time and the dad has him at weekends. But she’s still the one buggering off to Venice when he’s sitting at home. Poor kid.

 

[trueblue222]

Wat Is the tooting a reference to something I'm not getting, or is it just supposed to be like 'ner ner'?

She was just giving folk on here the two fingers because she was so happy. Lasted a week and she was back in the bad mentals

Is there really a glut of tinned peaches across all the foodbanks in the land? It's such a strange item to purchase to donate. I always donate everyday tins like beans and spaghetti hoops for example. Universally liked stuff. Who the fuck is donating all the peaches?!

(And I wonder how many of the DM prunes are still hanging about at where ever Jack dumped them!)

I always donate beans and instant mash.

 

[Elastoblast]

Matt of the forearms on Channel 4 Food unwrapped dressed as a maitre d with forearms on show!

 

[FlirtyThirty]

My mum does this because it was the thing in halls when she was teacher training. Every weekend cold baked beans with the salad. Was perchance your Mum studying in Hull in the 60s

Is it like, mixed up with the lettuce and stuff? Only I like cold beans, but only straight out the tin if I’m drunk (or more likely as a student too stoned to turn the hob on)

 

[trueblue222]

Let's take a moment to recall this highlight from Jack's last visit to Glastonbury.

'"Morning boys!" I wandered over to the Fire Brigades Union tent opposite ours, swinging half a bladder of white wine on Saturday morning. "We're up and off, so can I tempt you with my leftover warm chardonnay?" They eyed it suspiciously, and I realised it bore more than a passing resemblance to an extremely large and full catheter bag.'

Jack Monroe's Glastonbury diary: I can't believe I sang with Billy Bragg

The chef and campaigner had gone to discuss food banks in the Left Field tent, but it was singing in front of the crowd that proved to be her stand-out memory

www.theguardian.com

This makes me laugh so much

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Her mother isn't the sharpest of tools.

 

[Captainmouse]

Its the whole look at me stuff. She doesn’t tweet for two days then she has to excitedly tell people she didn’t tweet for two days because her new partner took her to Venice.

While old people are riding buses to keep warm and watching TV in shopping centres she’s stoating around Venice.

Jackie Antionette. Let them eat gelato.

She didn’t tweet as she probably hasn’t got roaming on her phone

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Glastonbury must be really feeling the pinch of the two forced cancellations as that line up is literally the scrapings of a line up. It's really awful. I almost went a decade a go and the bands were all pretty decent.

That’s only the Left Field line up. The headliners are Bille Elish, Paul McCartny, Kendrick Lamar and Diana Ross.

 

[Switchstreetz]

I think it's imagining "the boys" faces when Jack is coming towards them that makes it.

Well she does have past form for "bags of human excretion" if Iqbal's mate is to be believed

Jack should be the next Dr Who, she fucks with the time space continuum.

I can't tell if she's a compulsive liar or just really shit at maths.

FORENSIC

 

[moldwarp]

Grunking so not sure where this will land but I don’t understand why Jack doesn’t take advantage of the government’s Help to Buy scheme. You get a secured government loan for half the property and you only pay 5% deposit and raise a mortgage on the other half. You start paying back the loan after 5 years. Jack recently said she had £30k kicking around. She could easily have used it for that.

As for her poor credit rating, there are a number of small house builders who serve the lower income end of the market whose customer base often have poor credit ratings. They have schemes where the customer reserves a plot of land at a fixed price then the house builder gives them a year and financial advice to improve their credit rating and make them mortgage ready.

There are a number of reasons why asset prices are so high, macro economic reasons that go beyond the eBiL tOriEs. Globalisation. Low interest rates. But there are ways around it. If Jack was willing to settle for a new build flat or little house then she could get a mortgage, it might mean getting a full time job for a few years but that’s what most people have to do who want to buy.

She looks lovely in the Venice pic.

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

It's a basic b&w shot with just hands covering breasts but like I say, quite identifiable. Also, it's on a professional, open website which is Jack adjacent IRL.

We all said she was trying out some pics and gonna be grifting on OF around the time of the infamous sideboard pics.

 

[trueblue222]

I thought it was Michael Portillo who told her she should have kept her legs shut. And also those women on the train. Jack seems very prone to having people overly concerned with the position of her legs.


I should clarify, because I don’t want an untruth about Jack to originate with me, that she never said she records people without their knowledge . Just that she often keeps the recording device in her back pocket. (It makes people more at ease apparently, in Jack World). The rest was my own airy speculation Your Honour.

Im sure she said her brother said it too. Comments about her being poor and on benefits then she decked him

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

She's noticed a lot of well-regarded people on social media have recently been to Venice and she's bandwaggoning. Trouble is, her eyes are resolutely closed to the beauty and culture of Venice. And its not one island.

This was my thought exactly. TD posts for a start.

 

[Walkdengirl]

God, she's so tiresome. If security were called it wouldn't be announced where they are required. It's all in codes like Sector 7G or aisle 5.

If course they do, you don't want whoever is being a bit naughty to know you are on to them. Family that work at Morrisons have told me what they say for various things and it's very discreet

 

[NeoCortex]

Make sure she knows that even though it’s at Glastonbury, that DOES NOT MEAN SHE SHOULD SING



(sorry, not sorry. That video is a classic)

Was the entire length of a song before she even started

 

[LavaFlake]

i love these old posts because it proves that there was never a point in jack’s ‘career’ where she wasn’t a huge cunt

also there was never a point where her recipes made any sense. Sauté onions in oil and lemon juice? Finely chopped spinach you say

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So Jack was also a "vegan" in 2013?

 

[Flivver]

Every time slurry curry appears a pot of houmous curdles and dies.

The Bosh lot have a houmous curry recipe. Don’t know how I feel about that. It sounds a bit Monroe-ish.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Glastonbury must be really feeling the pinch of the two forced cancellations as that line up is literally the scrapings of a line up. It's really awful. I almost went a decade a go and the bands were all pretty decent.

I was surprised to see Herbie Hancock is still alive as I genuinely thought he was from the 1930’s

 

[Walkdengirl]

Did Jack make that Korma? It looks devoid of spice.

It looks raw

 

[trancejunkie]

If there was an OH you would be seeing matching boots and other attempts at proving it, shite