Jack Monroe #297 I'm not a natural tax payer.

[Skyfall]

Looks like OH uses male pronouns.
No wonder the flags have gone from Jackie gals profile.

 

[jenny2603]

Ok

 

[Dogmuck]

Poverty queen right there, in Venice, new hat £100, new Ray ban £180 new lips £250, Jack talking about cost of living crisis PRICELESS. Pay your tax you work shy limpet

 

[Sideboard Bob]

All together now….

”TO THE RECYCLING BIN!”

 

[Boyo]

Ummmmm, hold on a minute…

 

[traumatised sideboard]

That looks like a vape to me. Imagine being in Venice and you don't even have the decency to have a proper cig on the go.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

 

[Mr Krabs]

It makes me imagine her striding toward them in Fireman Sam's trousers while wearing an ill fitting wonder bra.

Someone on the old thread used this gif to represent Jack swaggering her way over to the firemen and I couldn’t stop laughing.

 

[Jelly Bean]

So over the Easter Holidays Jack rarely left the house. Tweeted constantly, was ill and in bed. Watching football on her phone with SB. Eating the mostly ghastly meagre rations.
Goes away without her child and stuffs her face, and can manage to be off twitter for days. Oh and the illness and fatigue magically LEFT to enable extended walks.

 

[Boyo]

Oh man the greatest Jack x Mumsnet is the trip to wetherspoons! (I assume it was ‘Spoons but it’s could be anywhere really) google “Jack Monroe mumsnet pub record” it’s another excellent exercise in Jack getting increasingly angry itisnt going her way frustrated, doubling down on the lies, being tired etc.
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This response ended me Says it all.

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

Or invited herself on someone else's again

Look out for the Mumsnet post from Harold's daughter-in-law!
"FIL has brought his new, much younger girlfriend on our family holiday. She said that as she's a professional cook she'd sort all the food and asked us all for £50 to cover it. She won't let anyone else into the kitchen and all the meals have been very odd. AIBU to ask for my £50 back so I can order pizzas?"

 

[Jelly Bean]

100% all aimed at Louisa.
She saw photos of Louisa looking so lovely and happy so now OH whisks her away for minibreaks and is a keeper.
BTW OH sounds like a slacker too if they are available for afternoon kidnappings and films.

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

Jack Maths: if you are tied into an unbreakable lease for four years and your rent is £1.5k a month, how many Smart Price sausages do you have to buy before Daddy H cracks and gives you a deposit?
For extra marks, how many oranges will you be able to grow once you get your forever home?
Please show your workings.

 

[PoorPatrol]

lonely planet jack continues

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also, fwiw, it is possible to do venice on a budget. when we went, we got an absolute steal on a hotel round the corner from san marco (and the hotel had a cat!) and we ate at tiny back street restaurants and we basically did four laps around the city every day

“Italy is very child-friendly in my experience” hows that, Jack? Ever actually taken your child there? Or taken him anywhere? No, of course not. Only your endless chain of Other Halfs are allowed nice holidays.

Now she’s shamelessly straight back to the poverty cosplay, snivelling about the cost of living on the telly while the poshos lap it up. Holidays and x10 gelatos a day, when you’re pretending you can’t afford to feed your kid a healthy diet? What an absolute joke.

 

[colouredlines]

god oh no, on the topic of journo jack I just remembered when I followed her old twitter in the run up to the 2017 election. remembered a tweet about how she read all the newspapers every single day and went through them with a highlighter pen because "when I worked as a journalist we had to read All The Newspapers Every Morning, A Big Pile of Them, We Learned The Enemy's Arguments"
I have no proof this tweet exists now but it's so on brand! the Southend Echo otherwise known as the Truth Battalion
(eta: I do not believe Jack read all the newspapers every day, or that wading through stacks was daily practice at the Southend Echo, it's Jack having false memories of the 19th century again)

Jack does like to make her brief stint as a trainee at the Southend Echo sound like Pulitzer territory, when in fact the stories were probably along the lines of:

Three cats stuck in Southend trees in one day
Local boy wins book voucher
Mysterious bag defecator strikes again

 

[BubbleDuck]

Interesting that Jack described her male clothing as “ drag” . I have never heard another non binary person with boobs referring to their binder and suit as drag. it’s almost like Jack has no idea what she’s talking about .

 

[traumatised sideboard]

The hummus curry is good! I've definitely admitted to having eaten it somewhere, probably the OT thread. You can't eject me from the canal for it. I know my rights and I've settled in, like the dry rot that caused Jack's shelf to spontaneously collapse.

I've also only just realised that peach is an anagram of cheap. A true food of the poors

 

[TbilisiPeach]

From mumsnet in response to a question about yoga for anxiety.

Reader, she did not come back with the link.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Just to put the final nail in the coffin of whether Jack actually eats one portion of lettuce at a time or not, this is an 80g head of lettuce with a normal size pitta bread for comparison. You'd have to sit on the sandwich to be able to fit it all in. I demand video evidence of Jack eating an entire head of lettuce or drinking 150ml of lemon juice because I've selected a hill and now I'm dying on it.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Just for clarity, as we know she loves to engage in hysterical misrepresentation of what’s written here (“they said my cat was a full Maine Coon but he’s not, aren’t they obsessed sad addict hausfraus”) I was in no way comparing her to a Nazi sympathiser, rather the contemporary understanding of quisling as a term for someone collaborating with the enemy against majority interests for personal gain, as per Jack making a good living from telling the feckless poor that they could feed their families on £20 per week if only they were clever enough.

She’s not a class traitor because she was never working class in the first place to betray them.

I like to think of her as a parasitic cuckoo. She was placed in the nest of the less privileged by the establishment (her media mates, Leggy, MBE daddy) and because she’s got the loudest call and the widest open gob and the sharpest elbows she’s kicked all the actual working class chicks out from the nest and she’s guzzling down all the opportunities, pretending to be the real thing for as long as she possibly can.

Sorry for the horrendous mixing of metaphors there but you catch my drift.