Jack Monroe #292 Poet, philosopher, fighter, cook, hero

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Predicting Jack's responses when she realises her mistake (and that TD mocked her):

TOOT TOOT: "Whoops, my face is red! I've updated my recommendations and will learn to be a bit more careful!"
Lights OFF: "In the spirit of trying to do something NICE, people decided to jump on me, laugh at me and humiliate me. Thanks a lot, you've just flared up my [insert fabricated illness]. Now, please leave me alone."
Lights ON: "Yeah well, at least I have an OH! I'm about to cook OH a Georgian sausage roll, off the matching plates OH and I have. 28p per portion, including OH."

As someone earlier said, I think there's a real chance she's going to go for TD this time in a variation of the lights off.

"Posting this to mock when I'm on the edge of a breakdown has pushed me over, I can't believe someone who is a friend of @Mom would do this. I've had threats from both varieties of Georgians because of this and OH LEFT."

 

[bowiethesdmn]

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Yet she's asking for recommendations for Eastern European food instead of reading the books she has? Fuck offfffff

Jack, the Georgia Church Suppers book is the wrong Georgia. You might want to fix this, but thank you for the laugh

Dying

 

[StatusWoe]

"Can I swap sausages for sausages?"

Today Jack has taught us:
-Boxes can be made into boxes. (Because they are universal)
-Sausages can be used in place of sausages.

I don't think I can handle any more of this wisdom.

 

[Lazarus]

I have a feeling she won’t do that. She’d have done it by now and it would open up her lies and true character to people she wants to impress. She’s very very clever. She knows just how to play this Twitter game and keeps getting away with it.
She is unbelievably cocky and an absolute twunt, and completely toxic. She is a liar. JACK MONROE POVERTY CAMPAIGNER IS A LIAR. A GRIFTER and a lying narcissist.

She would never take on TD. She’s calculating and knows how damaging it would be to take on someone so well connected that she may even come across at some point. She’d much rather pick on someone who is passive or unable to defend themselves against the FMs

 

[br2491]

Rattle rattle…

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Wanted: Property smaller than 750k Bungalow but big enough to fit 65 skips worth of shit and 3 fridge freezers in. Pref free cos poor, serious responses only TIA

 

[Emmapism]

So I'm away visiting a friend in Dublin. Waiting for her to finish up at the gym.

Currently sat on a park bench mid Grunk, hooting aloud at peach cobbler. The sun in shining, Jack is an idiot, what a delight.

 

[PoorPatrol]

Is she taking the actual piss?? Stroganoff is Russian, but from Odesa which is now part of Ukraine as I understand it. I’m sure she’s doing this to trigger a Squig into saying this, so she has an excuse for a pile on?

Beef stroganoff is simple and delicious, but you swap an element out and I’m afraid it is a stroganoff no longer. All she had left of it is mushrooms!

Re portion sizes - per her costings, we’ve got 1 + 2/3 of a sausage per person, 50g of mushrooms (which is three!!), and 50g of rice, which is a very small portion. I personally portion rice at 75g per person, and that’s with proper sides with huge amounts of veg and protein. Her portions are dangerous and disingenuous, all to keep to her ridiculous budget that she doesn’t even need to follow.

Don’t recall mozzarella in the stock take, and it’s ok to let it rot and go to waste, eh Jack?

 

[NomDeGuerre]

The idea of Jack rocking up in Tbilisi trying to score a plate of grits and collard greens tickles me immensely.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Jack's back! And in hell...

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

She’s definitely in operation “get myself out of this mess by deploying coops, do you remember dancing to The Key, The Secret or who had gloworms?”

This is going down in Tattlelore.

 

[Vanelope]

Idiotically hooting at this. The bowl of leaves... the Monterey Jack cheese... the squeezed spinach
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Is it just me or is US Georgia church cooking… a lot of dip?

 

[kachoochoo]

juice pulp? completed it mate. yum

 

[Jelly Bean]

I am still baffled as to how Jack could fuck up on this to such a mammoth scale.
It exposes her performative lying for all to see.
This is Tattle history as we speak.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

What will really blow your mind Poca is that there is a Columbia district in Washington up here too.

I bet Jack always picks the right Columbia.

 

[Geetbo]

I’m just trying to imagine what a sausage that costs 5p would taste like. I’m guessing like licking a pigs bumhole.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Imagine your girlfriend sending you a photo of that monstrosity, accompanied by the caption, "I might have to finish it all myself, teehee!"
"Nah... go on love, knock yourself out no, really!"

MY OH IS SO SELFLESS!

 

[lilamay]

And the former doesn't pay their taxes at all?! God, wake up squigs!

 

[LavaFlake]

This is the best grunk of my life. 10 pages to go

As someone who has substantial Italian heritage 🔺️, Jamie Oliver's Italian cookbooks are fantastic. And his TV show with Nonnas is such a joy. They so remind me of my own and all the eldery "aunts" I had in Italy. His respect of and dedication to Italian food has not gone unnoticed and my Mum, aunts and uncles love his body of work. Plus he doesn't ever commit the heninous crime of putting sardines in a puttanesca.

 

[Gary Baldy]

I’m loving this. She’s proper shown herself up as a liar and a spineless whelk and she’s never done such a thorough job of anything in her life so far.

1. wrong country
2. It’s a banger
3. Church recipe nerd
4. Is alerted to her error and quietly deletes that bit of the tweet

normally she’d be all “well WHEN did I say that EXACTLY I’m so SICK of these TROLLS twisting my EVERY WORD. But you go on love have a nice day thankyou”

stupid whelk

 

[StatusWoe]

"Can I swap sausages for sausages?"

In the last 24 hours Jack has taught us:
-Boxes can be made into boxes. (Because they are universal)
-Sausages can be used in place of sausages.
-There are two Georgias. They are interchangeable.

I don't think I can handle any more of this wisdom.

''I have Other Plans for the cabbage'' is such an ominous line. I feel scared for the cabbage and oddly protective.

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This is triggering a migraine. Help. My mind is cluttered.