Jack Monroe #29

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Hunty

I detest celery, do you know what I do with it? I don't bloody buy it... I don't tend to buy things I don't like in the hopes of convincing myself I just haven't found the right way of cooking it, celery is the food of the devil, god help you if I see celery in my food, I am a child, I will literally pick it out https://giphy.com/3o6Ztlz0B8b85JZ6xy
 
Reactions: 34

colouredlines

blurstoftimes said:
Oh is he talking about baby eels! I had them in San Sebastián last year - they’re horribly unethical and taste like nothing bleugh
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Yeah, tbh they're a bit of a "more money than sense" thing (and the budget surimi version is one of the vilest things ever invented...Jack would love it).
 
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PoorPatrol

Even as a staunch atheist, I’m tempted to say a few Hail Marys to protect Allegra. I can imagine it’s hard to not be suckered in by Jack, and when you’ve had a relationship with someone they know how to creep their way back in. Terrifying.
 
Reactions: 24

OhhBacon

Adding water to gone off mustard is utterly ridiculous, I would say it’s the most ridiculous thing I have heard her say but that’s a tough competition!

If you have out of date condiments then pop to Lidl, other cheap supermarkets are available, and buy some new ones.
A jar of English mustard is around 60p, we go through a lot, in the current climate you might have to queue but it’ll be quicker than the week you might spend in hospital from food poisoning.
 
Reactions: 28

Flumps

What's everyone having for dinner, please? I made a sort of amatriciana pasta sauce earlier, except with fresh cherry tomatoes (fancy, or they were going soft and wrinkly) but am struggling to get off the internet and my butt to go and cook the spaghetti to go with it.
 
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Silver Linings

Yes I don’t know what is worse, the pure red hot rage I felt yesterday or this genuine concern that people will make themselves ill doing this.

what a bizarre persona she has cultivated.
 
Reactions: 11

MrsOgre

I had a freefrom ch**se and spring onion crispbake with salad and lots of salad cream
 
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J4n0Z

I remember that - and tinned tomatoes.

"But I'm a cookery writer!" I wailed piteously, like a cat that's just had its tail stood on by someone carrying a rucksack full of paint tins.

The doctor gave me a stern look. The kind of look that says "I have a blue tick on twitter" so I thought I better listen to her because those types of people are important and might be a member of the groucho club.

"No you're not" expostulated the medical blue-ticker

I gasped in an agony of regretful dismay. It was so bad I could feel my ovaries groaning in pain. The really bad sort of pain, that hurts a lot more than any pain you've ever been in.

"Wh-what do you MEAN?" I bravely and boldly stuttered. Despite all the hideous and horrible pain I was definitely feeling.

"I've read your crappy blog" the doctor spat viciously, literally tearing my insides open with her words of cruelty.

"and I wouldn't eat that crap if I was starving".

Etc etc etc

PS - if you have any spare potatoes, why not use them to make a delicious trifle?
 
Reactions: 58

colouredlines

I actually don't know if I can ever eat again as last night I discovered that the man I'm seeing EATS RAW SAUSAGE. He claims it's normal round these parts; my friends vehemently disagree. To be clear, this is not any kind of fancy cured sausage. This is sausage in plastic packaging from the supermarket that normal people grill or fry.

I wonder what Jack would have to say about it...
 
Reactions: 35

Flumps

ETA: Actually, going to put this behind a spoiler, for the faint of heart and not as strong of stomach as JM.

When my step-son was very young, his mum once caught him sneaking into the fridge and drinking the bloody juice stuff from the bottom of a tray of pork chops. I think yours might be worse. On account of it being a grown up doing it.
 
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emmer_moans

What the ....?! Yuk, I've never heard of that before.
 
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Alansbigplate

she’d say:

yes, absolutely x
 
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Motherwellgirl

I had microwaved tofu with chilli flakes and spring onions with some vegan cheese on sourdough bread. I had a bowl of homemade spinach and lentil soup as well.

I only eat tofu now and then. I’ve stopped eating fake meat for some reason. Not gone off it but just having a break.

Last night I had a meal from the folks that are helping folk out around here with meals due to the lockdown

Vegan pie and potatoes with peas and sweet corn. The pie was lovely. Whoever cooked that really knows their stuff.
 
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Reactions: 12

heretoreaditall2019

Silver Linings said:
Yes I don’t know what is worse, the pure red hot rage I felt yesterday or this genuine concern that people will make themselves ill doing this.

what a bizarre persona she has cultivated.
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I can't believe this is a sentence I'm typing, but wouldn't it make more sense to use the mustard in dry crusty form anyway? Like a spice or herb sprinkled on top, like salt and shake crisps (or a pot noodle I think, I've never eaten one though)?
 
Reactions: 4
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