Jack Monroe #277 It's safest to assume that all Jack's tweets are lies unless proven otherwise.

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Going to be interesting to hear her money saving tips tomorrow. They're either going to be awful, in a 'make your own bubble bath in the slow cooker' kinda way, or - we're going to be playing the 'where has Jack stolen that tip from?' game 😏
 
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Welcome new Frauen and Herren!

This is very irrelevant in the great scheme of things, but it amuses me that Jack has both a 36L hiking backpack (20£ shop era) and a 25L hiking backpack (today), has gone hiking precisely 0 times since these threads started, and is too lazy to even walk to Aldi.

So much stuff!
But she took the shopping trolley on a yomp through the woods 🙄
 
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Secret sauce..... It conjures up so many possibilities non of them edible. Maybe it's her oh secret sauce?
mcdonalds, you can keep her, and her secret sauce. Whatever it is, it’ll be vile. Glad she can afford to eat two together. Hope her earlobes don’t expand so much that she can’t get her thousand pound earrings in. God forbid. Tacky mare.
 
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New thread in two shakes of an ox tail.

And a goat leg

And some hearts (!)

Trotters

Was it petals?

Anyhow, new thread in a mo.
 
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This may sound really odd but bear with me. I can’t stand her eyebrows. Not because she’s got strong brows as she calls it. But because they don’t match. For context I’m a huge believer in that people should look the way they want to and no one has eyebrows that are completely symmetrical but she thinks hers are her best feature and they look awful. All I can say is if I had her dosh my eyebrows would look better than that. Her brows actually give me irrational rage. Sorry but they do. And don’t get me started on the Facetune. I’m almost 20 years older than her and I’ve never face tuned anything in my life. That is one insecure person.
 
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That worked out so badly for her that I almost wished someone had hired her this year. Almost. But, no one did and nary a mention of Veganuary from Jack.
I actually hope a vegan brand does do some kind of marketing deal with her again soon... because today's tweets would be excellent screenshot material for a Viggles reunion tour
 
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New thread ⬇⬇⬇ Toot hoofy toot.

 
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