Jack Monroe #269 The secret ingredient is … SPITE

[OwlRightsReserved]

The thing I don't understand* about her disliking being called a centrist is that she doesn't do anything that would indicate to me that she's left-wing. Opposing the Tories =/= left-wing. You can be right-wing and oppose the Tories. Jack's political credentials seem to be:

• she bloody loves the Queen
• LOVES the military
• she sang (badly) with Billy Bragg that time
• she engages with ex-Tory politicians like Anna Soubry on Twitter
• she talks about inflation hitting poorest households the hardest blah blah blah but her solution to it has been to engage with the supermarkets about non-existent issues with SmartPrice (aka the supermarkets should absorb the costs of alleviating poverty... I think? Actually I don't really understand how she thinks this is a structural solution)
• she perpetuates horrendous stereotypes about people living in poverty, and offers culinary travesties as somehow a solution
• she sold some t-shirts (and possibly donated the cash? We literally don't know and can't get an answer)
• she doesn't understand the difference between macro and micro

None of that screams left-wing to me? It just screams "The status quo affords me time in the limelight and an opportunity to grift some cash"... which seems pretty capitalist to me.

*Ok, I do understand, I just wanted to talk about how stupid she is.

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

"I do so love Scotland"

You've been to two streets in Edinburgh, Jack. Three if we're being very generous and counting the fact you have to cross Princes Street from the station to get to the independent restaurant Dishoom.

 

[LyraBalaqua]

Recycled waste water? , sounds like her recipes.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Um...this is the most obvious grift yet. Dentists don't just say 'nothing we can do, soz hun' and leave you in pain. Root canal would be the first go-to if it's too far gone for a filling. Removal of one tooth if it's a crowding issue or of the pain was too much. Fairly sure you'd get a tooth pulled no matter what if it was sore enough. So full of shit. F it, I hope some company gifts her a full mouth of crowns. Turkeyteeth Jack would make my entire year.

 

[Dogmuck]

Sorry if this has already been posted…have we had TDs daily nod to the frau?

Edited to black out - soz TD don’t want you by 1 Israel St

 

[PoorPatrol]

She’s preemptively crowing about her fake tooth pain, before she gets more cosmetic dental work. Remember when celebrities used to say that they simply had to have a nose job cos their sinuses were bad? It’s that type of shit. She’ll be like oh yeah the nice lady dentist told me to get these Rylan style veneers, cos I had ouchy teeth!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Oh great, it’s Queens Of The Stone Age Feel Good Hit Of The Summer Jack, again.




Lidocaine
Orajel
Anbesol
Ibuprofen
Mouthwash
and TCP



Lidocaine
Orajel
Anbesol
Ibuprofen
Mouthwash
and TCP

T-T-T TEETHING RING!!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

What’s clearly happened is she’s thought about tv work or been looking at her teeth from the recent tv work and wants them fixed. She’d have paid £350 (this is linked to later brace urselves for this orthodontic #conspiracy) for the Invisalign consultation after reading on these threads that she needs one. They’ll have told her 4 teeth out and probably recommended the more extensive treatment plan that comes in ~£5k.

She clearly ran out of Patreon money a week or so ago after a period of manic spending hence the tip jar rattles. She’s not able to get a payment plan for the Invisalign as she doesn’t exist in normal documented society, she’s made herself a Pariah by refusing to do her company returns for 2/3 years running. But unlike the proper crooks of the world hasn’t got any cash in the bank. So she’s gonna need the pay pigs to stump up the bill. We’re still a reasonable distance from month end so sadly any donations for her teeth will likely get spent on Ocado deliveries and the frequent trips to London she never takes her son on. Better luck next time Squiggles!

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[hollywood]

Popping on to see myself in my hat ! Not to put a downer on anyones mood but this date is a funny one for me . My dad died suddenly and very unexpectedly 9 years ago today . In saying that he was just in from a party which if you’re going to is not the worst way to go is it! So not meant to be a pity post at all troops . I’m not a jack

 

[colouredlines]

Here's my question:

Jack, a shadowy billionaire will pay you 100 million pounds tax-free. But he has connections at Twitter. If you take the money, you will be permanently banned from Twitter. No sock puppet accounts are permitted under pain of death. What do you do?

 

[JombleWomble]

Me-railing a bit and I'm too drunk to remember how to cover it, sorry folks.

I'm abroad today and when we were trying to find somewhere to eat we laughed because one of the reviews said "we liked the potted plants". Well frauen, we went there and the aforementioned potted plants were only baby KUMQUAT trees! Somehow I managed not to laugh so hard that I had to be propped up, but I thought of you all

 

[colouredlines]

Happy birthday Jack. I got you some apostrophes. Use them wisely:

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

 

[kachoochoo]

same squig enquired about mini last week too

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

2. You are not Bagpuss so can't live in a shop.

Send coffinos, this has done me in.

 

[Emmapism]

I want to know (truthfully) how much of the 68 THOUSAND POUNDS she raised for her book via Kickstarter, was spent on herself.

 

[Elastoblast]

Posted without comment

 

[PoorPatrol]

If we get another Daily Kitchen style watch-along, I’m quitting my job. The slop won’t watch itself! I don’t know where my life would be now, if I hadn’t watched Matt say “terrible” in real time.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Flashback time. April 2021.