She has ARTHRITIS and her knee POPPED OUT
Jack Monroe #269 The secret ingredient is … SPITE
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Perhaps Katya for that edgy vibe although Jackie will bemoan the fact they won't be the first same sex couple and will have to settle for being the first frequently pronoun changing, slop producing, kneecap popping, tippytoe balancing performative twit. Good luck to the costume team masking the unruly labia and make up team covering all her identifying tatts. Fairly sure the hair team will just throw in the towel. Will she flirt with Tess or Claudia or make a play for Shirley? Plans will be scuppered when Katya is binned for being Russian to calm the gutter press or if the smol pixie falls down the stairs during the grand entranceSame. I have a ton of work to do and now all I can think about is which pro dancer Jack would get paired with.
Neil or Karen. You heard it here first.
The only thing worse than the endless sandwich chat? The periodic smug "LOOK AT ME I'M SO POPULAR I'M THE QUEEN OF TWITTER JAMIE OLIVER NEVER GOES VIRAL LIKE ME" outbursts.
I hope she does get a TV job. I feel like we're the only people who really want this. Daily Kitchen Live was hilarious, and Jack Monroe's Sloppy Suppers will be even better.
I hope she does get a TV job. I feel like we're the only people who really want this. Daily Kitchen Live was hilarious, and Jack Monroe's Sloppy Suppers will be even better.
Can some kind Frau point me to our Index of Jack’s Many Ailments? I just wanted to check respiratory diseases and poppy-knee syndrome made the long list.
(disabled has been back in her bio for a week or so btw)
It sounds wild but the 'injured knee' would be the perfect excuse for a subpar presentation/interview/audition. She ALWAYS does this.
Still waiting for images of the inflammation and bruising not to mention the chunk missing from her lip.
How many sandwiches does this buffoon eat every day?
PREPARE FOR YOUR INTERVIEW JACK.
£20 a week shop? No way she's snaffing those sandwiches on the daily.
I'm in Tesco just now. Should I take Jack's advice from her extensive research and buy the own brand gluten free bread for the FODMAP diet I'm getting put on? 
Yes! Just like the many interviews that have described her hobbling, wailing and vomiting the night before/on the way to meet the journo.
For real! I started taking sandwiches to work recently instead of leftovers/tinned soup and was surprised at how much the ingredients cost even for a weeks’ worth of basic sandwiches. It’s nothing crazy, but there’s definitely cheaper options for a lunch especially if you’re at home and can cook something. Beans or egg on toast for a start.
Anyone who believes she eats the way she claims to for £20 a week is a fool.
Ugh. 'Smear' is the new 'moist' for me now. Thanks Jack.
so true. But so many squigs seem to lap it up
No shade to the fraus but I can’t believe I re ran a load of tests my work had already passed to buy some lols time and this was what she put us through? bleeping sandwiches and tit crisps??
We better get a live watch along to make up for this tank lite content tbh. We’ll be more gutted than she is if she doesn’t get it!
We better get a live watch along to make up for this tank lite content tbh. We’ll be more gutted than she is if she doesn’t get it!
Alas I think Jack has ruled herself out of strictly because as we all know her years of dance experience means she would be a sure fire contender to lift the grifter ball ( budget cuts means this is now 2 trifles sandwhiched together and sprayed gold ) . As she is crippled by arthritis, and after weeks of strenuous intense dance training on top of her 100 hour work weeks , attempting to lift such a heavy trophy would likely lead to a severe injury . Also, can you imagine the shitstorm the BBC would get if mid ballroom lift , an unruly labia escaped the 3 leotards and smacked Shirley Ballas in the face ?!?Same. I have a ton of work to do and now all I can think about is which pro dancer Jack would get paired with.
Neil or Karen. You heard it here first.
much more likely that Anton has decided to return to dancing , and Jack has taken his place on the panel
Twice daily - don’t forget she said that sometimes they look so delicious that she can’t wait for lunchtime and just truffles it right up as a smol midnight snak
edited due to a pesky auto
of Anton to Aaron
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I will have it on good authority that I have always been cheering her on to get A JOB!I definitely thinks she's been offered something. This performance is entirely for our benefit even though she absolutely DOES NOT read here or care what we think AT ALL. She was desperate for us to say that we hoped she didn't get whatever it is but sadly we're all too lovelyThere will be no "Ah ha, gotcha, I DID get the amazing dreamed for job. Stick that ninnies!" for you Jack.
Furthermore, a JOB would be delicious content. It might even make her STFU about sandwiches.
I get acid reflux at the thought of this - I mean, I know she doesn’t actually sup hot and sour soup at 4 in the morning or eat packed lunches at midnight but if she did, her stomach must be like an alligator.
I get heartburn if I drink coffee never mind anything else.
Mum: what’s up love, you seem a bit down
Me: well Jack Monroe didn’t get the big TV gig The Cable were hoping for.
Mum: who?
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