Jack Monroe #265 Jack Monroe got a bus

What opportunity has Jack seized that will annoy us?

  • Strictly

    Votes: 27 10.0%
  • I’m a Celeb

    Votes: 15 5.6%
  • Some kind of bake off

    Votes: 49 18.1%
  • Celebrity Masterchef

    Votes: 42 15.6%
  • Come Dine With Me

    Votes: 18 6.7%
  • RPDR

    Votes: 7 2.6%
  • Saturday Kitchen

    Votes: 35 13.0%
  • Mastermind (specialist subject, us)

    Votes: 47 17.4%
  • Naked and Afraid

    Votes: 27 10.0%
  • The Apprentice

    Votes: 3 1.1%

  • Total voters
    270
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Title by @Smeghead

Please remember no thread titles until the tail end of the thread and to add ‘thread title’ or ‘thread title nomination’. No swearing in them please.

Wiki is the pink button for newbies.

Another thread by obsessed trolls with unhinged theories. Toot bleeping toot, Jack.

Lights status -

 
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The only possible parallel I can draw between Stevie Nicks and Jack is the legendary rectal ingestion of cocaine.
 
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Title by @Smeghead

Please remember no thread titles until the tail end of the thread and to add ‘thread title’ or ‘thread title nomination’. No swearing in them please.

Wiki is the pink button for newbies.

Another thread by obsessed trolls with unhinged theories. Toot bleeping toot, Jack.

Lights status -

So happy to get this in a thread title, literally bursting at the seams with joy
 
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I was too late at the end of the thread - but for the avoidance of doubt Jack - you can’t sit with us. I know you are RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY while not being bothered about us having fun at your expense. So stop reading here, pay your taxes, donate the money, and get a job.
 
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I picked a cooking choice for the obvious comedy value as she can’t cook. Strictly - too lazy and would crumble at the first bit of criticism so that would also be hilarious.
 
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TLDR

No VBI
I cry
No TT money
It no funny
We cry
Jack is happy, toot toot
Still no broccoli pasta
We cry faster

(ok now I am crying rhyming pasta with faster, I’ll leave now)
(Also the crappy bungalow is being abandoned!!!)
 
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I am sure in the same way you are bored of JM, you must be bored of me dipping on here every now and again to say the same thing (at least I’m self aware!) - she bleeping infuriates me as a person in recovery and I’m actually in tears looking the stories on these threads of those who have lost someone to the evil of addiction. I’m sorry. I know it’s tit for you during the alcoholism when we are utter arseholes and hard to love and the absolute grief/relief/guilt when we pass. I didn’t until I found recovery.

look maybe Jack is but I yet to see evidence of recovery as opposed to sobriety - there is a difference. I didn’t dare broadcast my sobriety for several reasons until I had some proper time because:

1. I was sick of hurting my family over and over by doing that and then drinking
2. It’s ego based and you only ever have today
3. In the real world where you aren’t JM and don’t thrive on being defined as an alcoholic, it’s still pretty stigma based if people don’t understand it, and you are always the “Alcoholic” even when sober and
4. And this was my biggest reason - I was tit feared every day I would duck it up and drink again.

Recovery is not pissing about with your hair, pretending to hate social media whilst courting it, finding it all fairly easy and thriving off it.

Recovery for me was rehab, finally giving up my job, career, money, relationships. THE LOT. Admitting I was a bit of a bleep. Having hard conversations with loved ones who has heard it all before and were fuming, whether I was sick or not; too scared to leave my bedroom some days let alone face social Media as I just couldn’t cope and was riddled with anxiety. It was hell early days, utter hell. I couldn’t sponsor a donkey let along another person or offer any sort of assistance yet this bleep is Marie Von Trapp. It makes a mockery of alcoholism, it’s so much more complex and she is still suffering majorly whether sober or not (happy to explain alcoholism for an alcoholic if anyone is interested. JM could find it interesting)
 
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I picked I’m a Celeb because she’s very befitting of the usual type of no-mark celebs they have on that show, and also because it would be funny seeing her bush tucker trials. I bet they’d give her totally normal, solid food just to see her reaction when she ate it.
 
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I picked a cooking choice for the obvious comedy value as she can’t cook. Strictly - too lazy and would crumble at the first bit of criticism so that would also be hilarious.
I don’t think it can be any of these choices, none make sense. Could be a regular newspaper column? Could LJC have finally come through with a ch4 special featuring our fav smol pixie?
 
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It’s comic relief soon….maybe it’s something to do with that!! Omg imagine the lols!
 
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She finished yapping about not alot yet?

I voted in the poll, but I standby what I said on the last thread I don't care about these big reveals that last eleventy billion have all been major let downs after the initial announcement despite the endless legs up for her squigs and blue ticks.

She will duck it up and they will turn on her like they always do and the circle of crap will complete another orbit of Twittersphere.
 
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lads, I know we're in the middle of a REAL LIFE TOOTING CHAOS...
but didn't Jack (the liar and shyster AL' ARSE) say recently that she
couldn't get out of her RENTAL lease for a year?

Or am I in a FUGUE STATE of DELIRIUM?
send AXOLOTLOS
 
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lads, I know we're in the middle of a REAL LIFE TOOTING CHAOS...
but didn't Jack (the liar and shyster AL' ARSE) say recently that she
couldn't get out of her RENTAL lease for a year?

Or am I in a FUGUE STATE of DELIRIUM?
send AXOLOTLOS
She 100% said that around new year iirc.
 
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Status
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