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[Cookiecookie]

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My bookshelves are in my room. Should I say I sleep in a library now?

Also, I spy That Man!

 

[JuliaGulia]

And is that a new toaster? It doesn't have naff writing all over it to tell you it's a toaster for making toast.

(I missed the Red Dwarf chat!)

 

[HotesTilaire]

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(I missed the Red Dwarf chat!)

Jack is more like “so long, and fish for all the thanks!”

Ah rats, ETA I thought I’d done a funny but that’s Hitchhikers Guide, not Red Dwarf. Then I had a it said Tack not Jack. Must be bedtime in the Hotes house, smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for griftmas.

 

[SlopAmbsase]

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Get to duck, Call4Fish.

 

[Alansbigplate]

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Matt’s key error here is that he has sought out people who are knowledgable and engaging to appear on the programme. He should have just got the Veganiest Vaguest Vegan who has ever Veganed*


*may include cheap bacon offcuts

FIFY

 

[ChickenPorridge]

It’s not just the sheer amount of stuff, it’s also depressing (to me) it just looks like a retired Aunts house or something, or full of old tit as I’d say IRL. I think we are in #1958truther territory. Apologies to those who like the “look”

If it was stuff she even liked! She isn't comfortable among it and so she constantly changes, rearranges, dumps it in skips and buys more. Lots of books = smart, kitchenware = actual food expert, things stacked and hanging everywhere = crayzee and eccentric like Allergra, sports equipment = athletic like LJC, notebooks/folders full of shite = professional author

It's all for pics on Twitter. I'd be shocked if she'd even read one whole book in that 'library'.

 

[Shawads]

If it was stuff she even liked! She isn't comfortable among it and so she constantly changes, rearranges, dumps it in skips and buys more. Lots of books = smart, kitchenware = actual food expert, things stacked and hanging everywhere = crayzee and eccentric like Allergra, sports equipment = athletic like LJC, notebooks/folders full of shite = professional author

It's all for pics on Twitter. I'd be shocked if she'd even read one whole book in that 'library'.

Well she definitely reads Nigel Slater as she made that hilarious joke about falling asleep with him the night before....

 

[Wooh]

#LockdownLard

I have a tip, squiggle: you appear to be a fully grown adult, so if you don't like artichoke, don't eat it, you cushionhead

This tweet has really wound me up.

However, there are three points that I think need to be made (sorry if this comes across as teachery but she is fecking clueless)

You're so passionate and knowledgeable, @Into_the_tunnel

She truly believes her reductive little synecdoches are clever.

New word, thank you #TattleLifeGood

 

[Billybellend]

It's nice that she can use wallpaper paste in the crappy bungalow.

2017, elsewhere:
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ETA: Just read @Veronicaaa's Pritt Stick post which makes this even funnier.

Fucks Sake…sellotaping wallpaper up…I’ve heard it all now. What next? Stapling tiles? Sticking your carpet down with PVC? If she used some of her slop, it’d adhere better.

maybe THAT’S what happened to thegranola

Want shiny white grout in the bathroom? Use toothpaste, and it’ll stay minty fresh!
She reads like a whole chapter of Viz top tips.

 

[Powershower]

time is of no importance when you have no job but the money keeps rolling in anyway.

mildly OT, but the level of detail Jack and many others give on their SM accounts is so dull. since when did we have to document even the most mundane tasks such as giving the kitchen a clean or listing old clothes on ebay?! is the need for validation from strangers so vitally important that every day tasks need to be celebrated? oh, i just cant deal with this woman*.
* apologies if me gendering Jack is offensive to anyone; it wasn't my intention and i didn't know about non-binary/trans wishes made by Jack until they were mentioned a couple of days ago. I'd have been mortified to have misgendered someone but it seems she is content to be referred to as a woman - at least thats what i think i've read.

I know an otherwise lovely woman who does this on her Facebook “well that’s the kids off to school and time to tidy the kitchen”

“That’s the kitchen tidy, I’ll have some lunch then tackle the bathroom as it’s my day off”

Needless to say, she’s been muted

 

[ecdb]

Hardly the library of Alexandria is it?

For the love of god please make this the new thread title. I have laughed HARD at this.

 

[Powershower]

Her degree is going well then. Must be well on her way to a third doctorate by now. Those tassel baskets are vile btw. They look like something a snake would appear out of if you played a flute near it but with frumpy accoutrements. It gives off strong hot air balloon basket vibes as well.

Also it's bleeping CANNELLINI you gormless bean-rinser. C-A-N-N-E-L-L-I-N-I. Two Ls, for Louisa Left.

it's CANNELLINI you gormless bean-rinser. C-A-N-N-E-L-L-I-N-I. Two Ls, for Louisa Left.


Thread title nom!!!

 

[waffle maker]

I’ve been behind for days! They have changed our weekend in the UAE to be Sat Sun again and it’s very confusing. Plus almost everyone in my world has Covid.

our draining board in our RENTED house is on the right, and so is our one at home in the UK that is RENTED to someone else.

There were a lot of Covid rules in place to protect tenants at one point (rightly!) so maybe Jack is taking advantage of this. Her poor landlady!

I’m still with @Marmalade Atkins- the oven is 100% broken in Jack’s kitchen.

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

Don't her squiggle followers ever wonder when she fits work in?

She spent a day sorting out clothes, a day dyeing clothes, a day steaming/photographing/wrapping clothes for sale, a day dressing up and having hair done and playing with makeup, a day sorting her kitchen. Unless, like her, they consider this her paid employment.

She hasn't finished her book, she hasn't appeared on TV, she hasn't sorted out her website, she hasn't created any new recipes (thankfully). What of any consequence has she done?

So what do these squiggles think is her actual job?

And what about her degree ?? It’s all very stressful

 

[ecdb]

I don’t know what drove me to it, but I watched the lingreenie clip that’s in the Wiki. Managed 3m out of 6 and cringed my way through every one of the 180 seconds I sat through. She looks so uncomfortable - no judgment, I’d look uncomfortable on national television too, but I wouldn’t put myself in that position.

This is 20 hours work for her at £8 an hour. Have a nice day.

How do you manage to get on telly, make a tit looking plate of food, and still sound so ungrateful and put out by it all?!

ETA: realise the 20hrs includes travel, however as this is largely used as working time and includes cross checking prices and checking for breaking news, I have left this in.

 

[Lanie]

Get to duck, Call4Fish.

Do you think Mr or Ms fish is interested? I'm getting vibes.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I don’t know what drove me to it, but I watched the lingreenie clip that’s in the Wiki. Managed 3m out of 6 and cringed my way through every one of the 180 seconds I sat through. She looks so uncomfortable - no judgment, I’d look uncomfortable on national television too, but I wouldn’t put myself in that position.

This is 20 hours work for her at £8 an hour. Have a nice day.

How do you manage to get on telly, make a tit looking plate of food, and still sound so ungrateful and put out by it all?!

ETA: realise the 20hrs includes travel, however as this is largely used as working time and includes cross checking prices and checking for breaking news, I have left this in.

About a year later after the Lingreenie with chicken disaster, she admitted that This Morning won't use her anymore because of her "slightly undercooked" pasta. I'm not sure that was the problem! I'm so glad that This Morning have kept it on their website for posterity. Also I didn't realise at the time when she was doing that run through of all the work it takes to do a slot, she's basically saying she got paid £160 for it (£8/hour for 20 hours). To which I can only say ...

 

[Mogmog]

Idk if any of your know Muthahood on Instagram but she sellotaped wallpaper on her walls using double sided tape. It actually looked pretty good and she did a tutorial of how to do it

That said, I wouldn't wallpaper a kitchen because of the grease

 

[Captainmouse]

Idk if any of your know Muthahood on Instagram but she sellotaped wallpaper on her walls using double sided tape. It actually looked pretty good and she did a tutorial of how to do it

That said, I wouldn't wallpaper a kitchen because of the grease

Also steam