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[Mr Krabs]

I want to see the smol cardboard representations of her furniture she calculated the dimensions of and then laboriously crafted with her poor wizened arthritic hands. Wait... is this the daily Pythagoras application?!

I wonder if she has little doll versions of her and SB that she uses to make up her STDH stories.

Jack doll: Here SB, I made you a sandwich with old kale and bread made in the air fryer
SB doll: thank you mamapapa. Nom nom. It’s the best ever. Mamapapa, why do people vote against their best interests?

 

[Ispyabudgetbeanblogger]

Morning ninnies. What a nice catch up.

Patreon - only subscribers can read the posts, but anyone can see how many posts were made and when. I guess for most accounts it acts as an ad of sorts (look how many posts there are! Gotta sign up!). Jack operates her business model in a different way (still successfully given how many patrons she has, so I guess she really is having the last laugh here).

For what it's worth, I don't think she has bought a house. She is crap at saving money and I'd imagine with her budget she could not find something big enough for her many, many sideboards. She SHOULD be able to afford a decent two bed flat, which is good enough for many single parents with one child, but I hope you all understand she deserves more, because she's special, smol and a sleb.

Good morning ninnies, I have two draining boards (because I am FANCY) and they are both on the left

If anyone deserves two draining boards, it's you @Brian Butterfield.

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

Had a massive grunk, so forgive some call backs to now far-gone posts.

@Falkor oh God, I sympathise about the automatic bin; Mr Owl also purchased one that he loves more than me. I am expecting it to become sentient soon.

Her kitchen is deranged. Actually deranged. Also "weak wall" - get in the bin!

I've also got so many questions about the Pile o' Beige she's made and her subsequent recommendations:

• Why does she have to be so mental about putting eleventy billion things in every recipe?
• Why buy cream cheese instead of cream or creme fraiche?
• Why is there honey?
• Has she heard of an onion?
• Why is she buying alcohol-free wine to cook with? It's essentially juice! I cook with cheap alcohol all the time but in a pinch, stock and a couple of tablespoons of white wine or apple cider vinegar do the job just fine.
• Why is she telling people to put sparkling water in a casserole as a cider replacement for "effervescence"? That is not how carbonation works?

 

[PortiaControl]

Ooh and the Russell Hobbs kindly donated new kettle.

We finally replaced our broken kettle last week. Mr. Portia was running me through the options and suggested a Russell Hobbs one which I immediately vetoed. He was a bit puzzled but I couldn't be arsed to explain.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Why does she always have to use this twee, self-infantilising wording when she has to do half a day's graft? Gentle decluttering, softly, restfully writing, etc. Like the toil of actually doing anything

She was still gently, softly recovering from the shortest longest Long Covid when she decluttered this time last year

 

[EllaEm87]

’..for birthdays..’ and ‘..to celebrate special occasions’. Largely unprofessional word wrangling at its best.

And let’s not get into grating anything sad looking from the veg drawer onto pizza

View attachment 987303

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Here’s some past best veggies!

 

[Emmapism]

Jack's kitchen is twice the size of mine. The difference being I'm grateful for mine because I worked hard to get it.

The idea that she can't get any work done in a kitchen of this size is ridiculous. If you've got too much stuff a) you have money and b) a clear hoarding issue.

The only degree she has a chance of obtaining is one in advanced bullshittery.

P.S. She's also a grief vulture, sticking her beak into the local election for no good reason

 

[Peachy9]

Sir Matt of Forearms is on channel 5 presenting his new show right now... Vegetarian and vegan recipes
She'll be livid.

 

[Whaa?]

Fortunate enough to get her basic needs covered so she can devote the majority of her time to activism *. I would have thought the minimum her patreons deserved was a monthly update of what she had been doing. So many people advocate, volunteer, fundraise in addition to working a job to pay the bills. What a gift something like this would be to them.
* I am not saying this is what she is doing, but this is what her donors think is happening, don't they?

 

[Django]

View attachment 984156

I love politics Jack, she'll be explaining what Hansard is next.

 

[Terrible]

Why fish people, why? She's not going to eat or advertise your fish

Not unless they put it in a tin.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

4 years ago ...

View attachment 986094

You read things like this from her, with her spiteful threats, and feel so thankful that Tattle is here now! Nasty cow. I definitely think our presence helps to rein her behaviour in some these days too.

 

[Candytuft]

View attachment 988657View attachment 988658

Well, bugger me. A shiny spoon.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Found it. Not quite envying but it's truly cloth-eared.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Hardly the library of Alexandria is it? Some scuffed heels, a few books chosen simply for being the right shade of green, couple of cookbooks, some folded laundry, and mystery boxes.

She doesn’t have the attention span to list a dress on Vinted, let alone curl up with a book.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

At least we have been spared the rack of what appeared to be soiled rags hanging above the back door
Did we ever find out what they were? Apart from a burglar deterent?

(If someone could find a photo I would be very grateful. I think ).

They are pieces of fabric which Jack sometimes uses in her photos.

4th Feb 2021

 

[Mr Krabs]

Did you not hear? This one was a new one she bought when she booked DKL, because she always gifts herself something fancy with her earnings/book advances. Not an oven though, it’s not like she cooks for a living or anything.

Yes because apparently you can sell fancy stuff on when you find yourself in poverty again.

Apparently Southend has a robust second hand market for skanky old designer clothes that have been sitting around for years in bin bags or second hand fridges, perhaps with fish still in freezer department. Who knew? Of course, this is the place where people will buy second hand dinosaurs and lightbulbs so eh.

#Jackonomics

 

[Veronicaaa]

Wtf surely the shelves are shit because they are floating shelves designed for like one photo frame and a plant and Jack’s got the whole of Southend’s charity shop archive on there.

Been putting too much thought into this (the wall being weak etc) and I reckon she's not using rawl plugs.

 

[Silver Linings]

She’s deleted this one.

 

[MooBelle]

Did we know that Jack lost the full use of her hands at the age of 29 . How is she going to manage without Caroline-with-the-hands?

View attachment 986046

Can you imagine if others adopted this level of customer service ?
Just before Christmas I had a missing parcel from Next. They'd sent it to my old house for some bizarre reason. They were apologetic and gave me a £10 voucher as well as sending another parcel to my actual house.
Can you imagine if they treated it like Jack?
'Yeah, that's completely our fault but we can't use our hands so stop harassing me you troll'