Jack Monroe #235 Goggleslop

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Honestly I’m calling it…

2022 year of the squiggle. I haven’t seen so many actually calling her out. I think there had to be a point that the numerous ridiculous stories started to not make sense. No one has that much drama.

Spoiler: Alcohol

the only people I know who would comment about people not drinking are Princes family (the older generation, not the younger ones so much). They are very working class Glaswegians whose lives have been centred around alcohol, like many there. However they might make a comment/take the piss…. Move on quickly. Who the hell is she hanging around with that would make a deal out of it, maybe when you were a student someone might comment.
I don’t think she is an alcoholic, I think like a lot of us in our youth she would take it too far with drink. I’ve found it’s age, experience, the desire not to make a tit of myself that I have learned my limits

 

[L3moning]

Hope it's a full day of shitposting

View attachment 954802

Teenage me didn't need Pro Plus to spend my time in the park re-enacting WWE and flinging my shoes off swings, thank(space)you very much.

 

[Whaa?]

I had heard that people who were burgled were often repeat burgled as the robbers expected the goods to be replaced by claiming on the insurance. A neighbour was burgled 3 times in a row. It might have been her who told us.

Its good to see people reasonably raising objections to her 'friends with therapists' comments. From Jacks responses you can see why some choose to reply anonymously. Perhaps she has chosen the wrong area to bullshit about.

 

[meowquiz]

Who would label prepped meals like that?

It's not JM soup, that implies it's made from JM.
You label dates, ingredients, allergens etc. The squigs are all so bloody strange!

Gotta mention btw that "whelk" is my top new insult. Nephew has implemented a swear jar so I've been forced to get creative with my language and animals are featuring strongly, whelk is perfect.

My favourite, which also applies to Jack, is souffle. Full of hot air and prone to collapse.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Now we're in the new thread I just wanted to say big big loves to any Fraus genuinely struggling with depression right now. It's been a while since I've been there myself but all I can say is, one thing at a time. Even if that thing is making yourself a meal with texture and having a read of Tattle.

You're all bleeping witty, clever, insightful and lovely and it's a privilege to know you (albeit through a screen)

And @Brian Butterfield its delightful to see you around these parts again my darling

Thank you, @Emmapism

My mental and physical health has been the worst its ever been these past couple of years, 2021 even more so, so I've been more of a lurker in recent times but thank you ninnies for keeping me company and making me smile, & .

Wishing you all a happy and healthy 2022 xxxxx

 

[Flash123]

I think the kitten probably doesn’t live with her and was only staying with a visitor.

I wonder is Jack going to do veganuary this year?

 

[PunkyMonkey]

With absolutely no shade to those with genuine food sensitivities, I bet she sets it up to be asked why she's not drinking in the same way as crunchy healthloons who are gagging to tell you all about how difficult FODMAP is.

I just don't believe anyone pushes booze, not these days, cake or something definitely but our culture has really changed.

 

[ecdb]

With absolutely no shade to those with genuine food sensitivities, I bet she sets it up to be asked why she's not drinking in the same way as crunchy healthloons who are gagging to tell you all about how difficult FODMAP is.

I just don't believe anyone pushes booze, not these days, cake or something definitely but our culture has really changed.

i don’t believe any of her so-called friends would push alcohol on her anyway, especially as she claims to have longstanding issues with alcohol and actually had a piece in the national press where the headline was “my name is Jack Monroe and I’m an alcoholic”. Does she actually forget herself?

 

[Captainmouse]

i don’t believe any of her so-called friends would push alcohol on her anyway, especially as she claims to have longstanding issues with alcohol and actually had a piece in the national press where the headline was “my name is Jack Monroe and I’m an alcoholic”. Does she actually forget herself?

She doesn’t know herself, she can’t remember which hat she’s wearing on which day

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

Normalise paying YOUR TAXES
And sending off your accounts
And being accountable for people who’ve paid for goods

 

[L3moning]

I just don't believe anyone pushes booze, not these days, cake or something definitely but our culture has really changed.

Some people will do. But the kinds of people more likely to (older middle aged men and students) aren't really the kinds of people Jack is likely to be hanging round with too often.

 

[Ispyabudgetbeanblogger]

I've just spent (too much) time on this website www.crime-statistics.co.uk/, checking reported crimes in Southend in October and November 2021.

I've entered all five postcodes pertinent to her road. I first checked for all reported burglaries. She claims the first burglary happend in October, but I checked October and November (just in case there was a delay in reporting). Nothing. I then checked for bike theft. Also nothing. I then checked all crimes for the entire length of her road for all of October and November. All I can say is that she lives in a very safe neighbourhood, because there were 0 crimes reported for her road. Some burglaries, bike thefts, assaults, drug use, etc in her neighbourhood, but nothing on her road.

It's good to be back on the beat. I shall repeat this exercise in a few months, when stats for December and January are out.

 

[Flash123]

I've just spent (too much) time on this website www.crime-statistics.co.uk/, checking reported crimes in Southend in October and November 2021.

I've entered all five postcodes pertinent to her road. I first checked for all reported burglaries. She claims the first burglary happend in October, but I checked October and November (just in case there was a delay in reporting). Nothing. I then checked for bike theft. Also nothing. I then checked all crimes for the entire length of her road for all of October and November. All I can say is that she lives in a very safe neighbourhood, because there were 0 crimes reported for her road. Some burglaries, bike thefts, assaults, drug use, etc in her neighbourhood, but nothing on her road.

It's good to be back on the beat. I shall repeat this exercise in a few months, when stats for December and January are out.

I wish she was famous enough for the daily Mail to pick this up!

 

[ecdb]

I wish she was famous enough for the daily Mail to pick this up!

Maybe you should let them know. If it’s a slow news day they’ll print any old shite

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I’ve been burgled (I have no jobs lined up and I owe the tax man).

 

[Lanie]

Quite surprised the Southend Echo hasn’t picked up the burglary story, what with her being a celeb an all. My local online rag would have been all over this - it’s in the public domain so no privacy issues.

Can I be bold as to say. No one cares!

Most people after the initial omg! Don't give it another thought, especially as it's mainly pans not important enough to be in the house and some recycling not important enough to be kept in the house.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

A good one for an alcohol free cocktail, especially if you have a blender of some kind, is to freeze tinned peaches, blitz them and serve with raspberries and tonic water, topped with a sprig of thyme - or if you're dealing with people who aren't fans of tonic water/bitterness, cream soda works for a pavlova/birdseye supermousse raspberry ripple effect. For extra wanky credits, add some edible flowers of your choice on top. Also works with blueberries and tinned apricots.

Unfortunately I've run out of blenders, would a magic bullet work instead?

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Sorry for jumping ahead I’m on a Grunka but we’ve burgled her? What all of us? Bit of a reach we don’t all live in the same country for a start.
It’s awful if you have been burgled Jack and that your grandfathers things have been stolen but maybe instead of blaming us, see it as a lesson to stop tweeting your every move advertising you’re not at home and stop tweeting out photos of broken locks.

Just picturing a giant conga line of the cabal in burglar outfits heading down the coast to Southend

Shout-out to the squigs today, starting 2022 like

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I wish she was famous enough for the daily Mail to pick this up!

The Daily Heil absolutely hates her I’m frankly amazed there hasn’t been some sort of story, but then all these lies are just kind of minor in the scheme of things….and they know that she is litigatious. I wonder what she spent her twatkins cash on. Make up? Pleather?

 

[Notmycat]

I was just putting together some food for myself from the fridge so end of a pack of this, end of pack of that, handful of this and made a lovely meal. I was thinking #whatwouldJackdo and basically how to make it to a ? Slop. I resisted the temptation and had an edible meal instead.

Jack is infiltrating my brain. Send £££ for rehab